Llef ylil yhw
by Yo-yo
Summary: What happened between year 5 and 7 to make Lily change her mind about Potter? The title is: Why Lily Fell spelled backwards
1. Strawberry Lip Smacker

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, although if Ms. Rowling would be so nice, she could at least send me to college!

A/N: I was re-reading "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" and I wondered what happened between Lily and Potter between year five and seven to make them come together. So here's my opinion, I hope you like it. R&R please.

Strawberry Lip Smacker:

"Hey Tuny," she called from the sitting room. "have you seen any of my books?"

"Which ones?" the reply came from the kitchen.

Upturning the tan cushions of the davenport, she called back, "The Standard Book of Spells 5 and 6."

Dropping down to her hands and knees, she surveyed the area beneth the couch before deciding it was a lost cause. As she stood up, she turned around in just enough time to see her sister stomp into the room and involuntarily cringe at the mess she'd made.

To anyone who'd laid eyes on her, Petunia Evans was definitely her dad's daughter. She looked just like him: long and skinny with sharp angles everywhere. Everything about her was long, narrow and angular. From her sharply chiseled face, to her slightly upturned nose. From her dangling limbs to her craning neck. The only thing about her that wasn't long and angular was her short, burnt umber tresses, feathered back to resemble Farrah Faucet's hair in "Charlie's Angels."

In contrast, Lillian Evans was the epitome of her mother. They were both built like dancers: long, thin and lithe. Her features were softened, her movements graceful. There were only two features that she didn't share with her mother. One were those famous Evans' eyes; green, with tiny flecks of blue, gold and brown surrounding the pupil. The other was her red hair. She had just past shoulder length, deep red hair.

Although Lillian and Petunia hardly looked alike, you could spot some very acute similarities. They both had light splashes of freckles that danced across their porcelain skin and they were both tall. And they both shared those green eyes that seemed to pierce whomever they were looking at with an intensity so great, that the person became undone. When they were younger, their eyes were identical. But as they grew older, their eyes seemed to evolve to reflect their personalities. Lillian's eyes had softened, reflected her ever-intensifying kindness; Petunia's eyes grew beady, exhibiting her incessant curiosity.

"Damn it Lily," she groaned, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "I though you were talking about 'Pride and Prejudice' or 'Romeo and Juliet!'"

"Sorry, but I was studying last night and I seemed to have misplaced them."

"Typical," she muttered under her breath as she watched her sister unceremoniously replace a cushion.

"You shouldn't leave that stuff hanging around," she said aloud, so her little sister could hear.

"Why? You afraid that dashing young chap- Peter will see it? Afraid he'll discover that your little sister doesn't actually attend that boarding school in France, but instead, she is actually a witch-in-training?" Lily grinned.

Petunia's face grew red in what Lily couldn't tell was anger or embarrassment.

"Well, 'Romeo and Juliet' is over-rated anyway," she continued, "But if you help me find those books, I'll let you borrow my Strawberry Lip Smacker for you date tonight!"

"And you'll clean up this room?" Petunia asked.

That was one of the differences between Tuny and Lily; Tuny was a clean freak, and Lily's whole world was in disarray. It was amazing how that worked because Lily was a perfectionist. She expected her homework to be turned in neatly; she was known to throw out any piece of parchment with so much as a smudge in the corner. But for some reason, Lily preferred a mess to surround her, maybe to balance things out.

"What?" Lily asked, glancing around the room, "This room is fine!"

"It looks as if a cyclone burst through here."

Lily's eyes narrowed mischievously as a smirk curled her lips, "I could conjure one."

"Lily!" Tuny gasped, cringing at the thought of magic.

Another difference between the two girls was their feelings on magic. When Lily had received the letter the summer of her eleventh year, inviting her to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a rift had automatically forged a chasm in their relationship. When she'd returned after her first term, instead of trying to rectify their relationship, she instead egged on Tuny's distaste and in the end, they were constantly at one another's throats. During the last two years, however, she and Tuny had come to an understanding. Lily would do no magic around Tuny, and Tuny would accept who Lily was, and not try to sabotage their relationship.

"I was joking," Lily smiled good-naturedly. "But really, I'm not cleaning up."

Petunia's eyes narrowed, and a smirk that looked identical to the one Lily had earlier consumed her features.

"Well then, I guess I'll have to tell Mum and Da about the time last month that you broke curfew to sit up in the tree out back and talk to that boy!"

"You wouldn't!" she gasped.

"Oh, I would." She answered, all too sweetly.

"But-"

"Just clean up the mess you've made," Petunia sighed, wishing her little sister wasn't so stubborn.

"Petunia," Lily whined.

"Lillian," Tuny mimicked.

"Ok," Lily frowned, "but you better be happy that I have nothing better to do on a Friday night."

"Why don't you ask out that boy from the tree?"

"Because," Lily sighed plopping down on the couch, "he's just a friend, plus he has a thing for a friend of mine."

"Well, why don't you hang out with those friends of yours, from that school?"

Lily rolled her eyes as if stating the obvious, "They don't understand the Underground, and why go through all the trouble if I'm going to see them next week?"

"Well do something. It shames me to know that beautiful, popular, smart, Lily Evans is sitting by her lonesome on a Friday night. Although, it elates mediocre, plain and tall Petunia Evans who has a date with- what did you call him? Oh, 'that dashing young chap, Peter Mollohan?'"

"Oh please, you're not plain or mediocre," Lily scoffed standing up and facing her sister, "You're ugly and boring!" she screeched before dashing up the staircase into her room where she bolted the door lock.

* * *

Plopping down unceremoniously on her bed, Lily looked around her bedroom. It was the perfect balance of her two selves: witch and Muggle. On the walls hung photos taken by both wizarding camera and a Muggle camera, therefore, some of the people moved and some stayed put. On low shelves on two walls were a plethora of books, most Muggle of sorts like Dickens, Hawthorne, Austen and Shakespeare, even a banned copy of J.D. Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye." Others of wizarding sorts like Mugwomp, Odelay and Crusive. From her ceiling hung a beautiful wicker birdcage where her owl, Noctem, usually slept. A week ago her closet would be bursting with robes and Muggle clothes, now her robes were packed away in the large wooden trunk at the end of her bed that would soon be accompanying her on her sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her carpet was littered with schoolbooks, quills, and parchment, as well as ink pens, multi-colored spirals and stickers. Her wand, her second wand in fact (the first one had been snapped in half on her birthday when James Potter had kissed her), was eleven and a quarter inches (a whole inch longer than the first) with an unicorn hair tucked inside, with a few sprinklings of fairy-dust; perfect for Charm work, or at least that's what Mr. Ollivander had told her. Her wand lay on her desk beside her reading glasses- narrow, black plastic frames- seemingly binding her two worlds in the most neutral of settings.

Even in her own house, Lily couldn't help thinking about her friends of the other world. Delia Flynn and Soleil Benoire were her best female friends in the school. From the first day that they'd met, they had instantly taken a liking to each other. On the train ride to Hogwarts, the two girls had taken it upon themselves to tell Lily the dos and don'ts of the wizarding world. By dinner in the Great Hall when they'd all been chosen to reside in Gryffindor, they had already committed themselves to be lifelong friends. For five years they were always together, sharing the same dormitory with Alice Popinopolis and Mildred Quiglesby.

Then there were her other friends, most intimately known as, The Marauders. James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew had made her five years most blissful. She couldn't count the times Sirius had left her breathless and in stitches from one of his many unbelievable escapades. She cherished those times Remus would sit beside her in the common room, discussing important issues and helping her with her studies. She adored the way inferior Peter would idolize the other three, sometimes hoping that he'd grow into a stronger willed person.

But James Potter was in a whole other ball field.

James Potter was a conceited, stubborn, incorrigible jerk. He acted as if he owned Hogwarts, scaring the younger years and insulting the others. He exploited people's flaws and enjoyed tormenting those he thought inferior. He was stupid and annoying and unfortunately for her the leader of The Marauders and one of her friends.

Don't get her wrong. James could be a good person when he wanted to be. On those rare moments when he was actually sincere, she could find his personality endearing, she could even find him comforting. She could even remember a couple of times over the years when she hadn't even thought twice to put her head on his shoulder, and just . . . be. But then he'd put up that wall and let that cocky smirk curl his lips and she'd turn away from him, ready to claw out her eyes.

"Lily, you've still got the sitting room!" Tuny yelled from downstairs.

"Coming," she sighed pushing herself from the bed.

As she came bounding down the staircase, Petunia looked up at her suspiciously. For a moment, she didn't say anything. But after some contemplation, she finally said:

"You know, if you're desperate, you could always call Esteban?"

Lily rolled her eyes as she thought about her French tutor. All summer, her Mum and Tuny had been trying to set them up. Finally one day, he asked her out, and she agreed. When she returned from the date she immediately dashed for her room, never telling her Mum, nor Tuny what had happened. Needless to say, she and Esteban had not gone out again.

"I'm not calling Esteban," she sighed rearranging the sofa cushions so they didn't look as if a three-year-old had just decided to play rocket ship on them.

"Why not?" she asked, curiosity burning through those beady green eyes.

"Because Esteban is my tutor, and we shouldn't be fraternizing like that, it's just wrong. Plus, I don't really like him in that way."

"What happened to you two that night?"

"Are you looking for my books at all? I really need to get them packed by tomorrow or I'm never going to get done. And then all school year I'll be pelting you with owls, just like last year, asking you to loan me your green sweater and trading you my blue one."

"Ok," Tuny sighed. "I'll go looking for your books and you clean up this room."

About fifteen minutes later, Lily was just fixing up the picture frames when the doorbell rang. Immediately, she stopped her work and answered it. Standing behind the door was none other than that dashing young chap- Peter Mollohan.

"Hey Pete," Lily grinned ushering him into the house.

"Hey Lily," he smiled, entering the sitting room. "Wow, cleaning up the sitting room?"

"Yeah, well you know me, Miss Perfectionist. That Tuny is a slob!" she grinned.

"Speaking of Petunia, is she here?" He asked, knowing of Petunia's hate of her sister's puerile nickname.

"Yeah, she's jus-"

"I found it!" Petunia yelled from the dining room, as she dashed towards Lily.

When she saw Peter standing beside her sister, she immediately stopped her running, and dropped both her arms that had been holding up the volumes.

"Whoa, looks like some pretty impressive books?" He said eyeing the heavy bound books with gold lettering.

"Yeah, first edition Jane Austen, and we all know how I love my books!" Lily grinned nervously, grabbing both books from Petunia and dashing for her bedroom.

"What's with her?" Peter asked watching Lily run for her room.

"I think she heard the phone ring, did you hear the phone ring?" she muttered, her voice strangely high.

"No," he smiled, "are you ready?"

"For what?" she asked looking at him, confusion consuming her features.

"Our date?" he grinned, gently rubbing her bare arms with his hands.

"Oh, date, sorry!" she smiled, pushing her hair away from her forehead. "I'm just going to go get ready. It shouldn't take more than half an hour, take the remote and watch some TV." She smiled apologectly.

"Ok."

Petunia turned and climbed up the staircase her sister had just used as an escape. When she reached her room, she noticed how different it was from Lily's. On her walls were posters of bands she loved but would ultimately cover over with her latest favorite band. On the low shelves that covered the walls were books she loved, but not the classics or books that actually had you thinking about days after. They were mysteries and Harlequin Romances, books she ended up trading with her friends or losing on the train from the mall. Cute little bears were placed meticulously around her room, displaying a playful side that she was pretty sure she lacked. Her closet was lined with perfectly pressed clothes, all of which were color-coded in coordination with the color wheel. Her room was immaculate and almost sterile. It looked lived-in, but not . . . homey. The difference between Lillian's room and Petunia's was passion. Lily had an aura around her that seemed to consume everything she touched and made everything beautiful. Something that Petunia had always wished she could obtain.

Going straight to her closet, she began picking through her wardrobe, looking for something to wear. As she picked through the blues, she heard a familiar knocking on the door.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to ask me to help you or do I have to beg?" Lily's voice asked through the closed door.

"Beg."

"Ha ha," Lily rolled her eyes entering her sister's room. Sitting down on her sister's creaseless bed, she could almost feel Petunia flinch.

"So what are you going to wear?" she asked, letting her eyes scan the books on her sister's shelf.

"I'm not sure," Petunia answered half listening, still searching through the blues.

"Well," Lily said while moving to the floor for a closer look into her sister's book, hoping to find a hidden gem amongst the lumps of coal. "Well I was thinking, you always looked good in red. So, how 'bout the red turtleneck, the brown skirt, the matching vest and my brown, leather boots?"

"Huh?" Petunia asked, only hearing the part about the leather boots.

"I SAID: red turtleneck, the brown skirt, the matching vest and my brown, leather boots."

"Oh, that's great!" Petunia smiled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Can I borrow that bracelet you got for your birthday?"

"What bracelet?" Lily asked, looking up this time.

"Ya' know, that pretty red beaded one. I think you said that Potter boy gave it to you?"

"Oh," she said, her voice faltering.

"So, can I borrow it? I think it would work well with my outfit."

"Oh, uh," Lily said, her mind racing. "Actually, I don't think it'll look good with your outfit. Too much red can make you look stupid. I think my wooden bracelet would be-"

"Too much brown would make me look like a tree. Please can I borrow the red bracelet?"

"I don't think so, Tuny," Lily sighed. "I actually don't think it'd look good with your outfit."

"Lily, I know that's not it. Really, why don't you want me to wear that bracelet?"

"I just- I just don't want you to wear it. I don't want you to lose it."

"Lillian, I'm not five, I think I can handle not losing a bracelet."

"Look Petunia, I just don't want you to borrow it, ok?"

"Why? Because that Potter boy gave it to you? Are you sweet on him? Are we going to get a letter from that school of yours saying that our little, sweet, innocent Lillian was caught snogging that Potter boy in the corridor?"

"Shut up, Petunia?" Lily screamed; her frustration apparent. "I don't like Potter! He is the biggest asshole I've ever met!"

"Then why won't you let me wear his bracelet?"

"Because, I won't!" she yelled storming out of Petunia's bedroom.

Petunia watched as Lily stomped from her room, feeling just the teeniest bit happy that she was the one that made her feel that way.

"Knock, knock, knock." She said, this time behind Lily's door.

"What do you want?" a heavy voice yelled through the door.

"There was some talk back there about a pair of brown leather boots?"

She could hear some shuffling through the door. Then a soft bang and a string of obscenities follow. Then, the door creaked open, and before she could say anything, a pair of heavy brown boots came flying at her, and crashed the opposite wall loudly.

"Thanks." Petunia called.

But the other side of the door was silent. Shrugging, she picked up the boots and skipped down the stairs.

"What was that?" Peter asked turning off the TV as Petunia sat beside him pulling on the boots.

"Oh nothing, just some sibling spat." Petunia answered, unzipping the left boot.

Placing her foot in the boot, she yelped when she felt her foot tap something with an edge. Taking her foot out, she reached inside and found Lily's Strawberry Lip Smacker. A broad smile curled her lips as she tucked the tube in her pocket.

"Ready?" Peter asked standing up.

"Ready." She smiled pulling up the zipper.

Lily heard the door slam shut as the two lovebirds left. A sigh escaped her lips as she thought about the stupid argument they both had. Why in the hell was she getting into an argument with Petunia over James Potter? That was just stupid. And why was she so protective over that stupid bracelet?

Pushing her hair out of her face, she got up from her bed and continued packing, not leaving her room until her Mum and Da arrived from their dinner together.

TBC . . .

P. A/N: Review and tell me what you think. If I don't get enough reviews, I won't continue. And I'd like to continue b/c the next chapter is what happened on Platform 9 ¾ and the train ride to Hogwarts.

P. P. A/N: The title is "Why Lily Fell" written backwards, like in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" in the "Mirror of Erised" which is desire spelled backwards. Just so you know.


	2. Ragamuffins

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

A/N: I hoped you liked the first chapter. Well, here's the next installment. Oh, and I looked through all of my books (except #4 which I loaned out) and I can't for the life of me find the color of Sirius's eyes, so I gave him blue eyes b/c guys w/ blue eyes and black hair are totally hot! Think of Hamilton from "Young Americans" or. . . I can't think of another one right now, but whoever he is, he is totally hot!

Chapter 2- Ragamuffins:

"Da, have you seen my socks?"

"Which ones?" he called from his room.

"The long blue ones with the separated toes and rainbow near the ribbing."

"Ask Tuny."

"Tuny?" she yelled.

Suddenly a soft roll of material bonked her on the head.

"Thanks." She yelled, pulling them on.

"Are you almost ready?" Mum called from downstairs.

"I am ready," Lily grinned skipping down the stairs.

Her hair had been pulled into two plaits on the sides of her head, with rubber bands on the ends. She was wearing a dark pair of jeans, a white and blue crepe tunic and on her feet she wore white sneakers.

"You look good."

"Thanks." She smiled grabbing the car keys. "Can I drive?"

A frown appeared on Ms. Evan's face. "Lillian, I don't kn-"

"Let her drive, Susan." Mr. Evans smiled, pulling on his sports jacket and placing a kiss to her sunken cheek.

Lily loved her Da. He was one of her favorite people in the world. Aaron Evans hadn't done anything important or remarkable; he was quiet and survived on pure habit. Some would even say that he was boring; but that's what made her love him. She loved the way her Da was always the same. Every morning, he woke up at six, took a shower, dressed, had a cup of coffee with the morning paper, let Mum brush his hair and left for work at seven thirty. In all her sixteen years, he'd never changed. When he returned back from work with Mum, he carried the same two gifts: a Petunia for Tuny and a chocolate bar for Lily (who had an addiction).

"Ok," Mum drawled, "but we're going to be late so start it."

"Oui," Lily smiled, letting her French lessons go to good use.

"Tuny, get your butt down here!" she could hear her Mum yell through the door as she ambled towards the car.

She was ecstatic. Today she was heading off for another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and she couldn't wait. Sure, her summer at home with her family had been really fun, but she couldn't wait to use her wand again, and see all those people she'd left behind.

As soon as her feet touched the wooden planks of King's Cross Station, she could feel the familiar hum of magic consume her whole being, sending shivers from head to toe, making her fingertips tingle.

Having done it five years in a row, getting onto Platform 9 ¾ was no problem. And as soon as she heard the familiar squeals, she knew that this was her life. In moments, she was engulfed in a pair of long, mocha colored arms. A head of raven curls bobbed around a dark head as a pair of brown eyes, concealed by glasses stood beside the two, a grin on her face.

"Sunny! Fly!" she grinned, pulling from Sunny and enveloping herself in a hug from Dee.

"Hey!" they both ginned, holding hands as if ready to sing "The Sound of Music."

"Mr. and Mrs. Evans," Sunny smiled, turning to Lily's parents. "How nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you two," Susan smiled, giving both the giddy girls hugs.

"Are you guys excited?" Aaron asked, his green eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Excited! That's an understatement," Fly grinned, "Sunny here kept trying to convince her Mum that the letter said August 31 just so she could get here early!"

"I did not!" Sunny blushed, punching Fly playfully on the shoulder. Then she looked up guiltily at Susan and Aaron and conceded, "Ok, so I did, but she wouldn't let me anyway."

"Petunia," Fly smiled, as if just noticing she existed. "Have you cut your hair?"

"No," Petunia said with a polite, but not so polite smile. "I got it styled differently for school. I'm a senior now, so I decided I needed a new look. Next year I'll be going off to the Lady's College in Surrey." She said pompously.

"Well good for you," Sunny returned that polite, but not so polite smile.

Suddenly, three boys crashed into Lily and the gang. Two of them looked as if they could be brothers. They both had jet black hair- one's fell over his piercing blue eyes and the other's sat atop his head in a messy heap. They were both quite tall and thin, with lean muscle sculpting their young, masculine physiques. They were both very attractive- which didn't seem to go unnoticed by the throng of girls who were staring "inconspicuously." The third looked to be of no relation to the other two, but wasn't in the least unattractive. Although not as tall, his pale skin contrasted sharply with his brown eyes and honey brown hair. He looked rumpled, but debonair at the same time. . . They were in fact, The Marauders.

"Hey Tiger," Sirius smiled, tugging on her arm, leading her towards a train car, "we saved you a place in our compartment, c'mon."

"Wait a moment," Lily laughed at Sirius's impetuousness. "Mum, Da, Tuny, you remember The Marauders? Where is Wormtail?"

"He hasn't arrived yet," Remus answered.

"Well, you remember Remus Lupin?"

Tuny raised an eyebrow, a look that didn't go unnoticed by James.

"Moony," Da grinned, shaking his hand energetically, "How are you? You should come by more often. But call us before hand so we can order some pizza. I'm appalled that a young man such as yourself hasn't been weaned on such a life sustaining dish."

"I will," Remus grinned, winking at Lily.

"What's pizza?" the other two Marauders asked one another.

Aaron looked at the two boys as if they'd each grown two heads. "Lily, just invite the whole school over," he sighed. "I'm ashamed of that school, not feeding you guys well."

"Da, they feed us well enough. It's just we don't eat pizza-"

"Well you should." He interjected.

"Anyways, you also remember these two ragamuffins, Sirius Black and James Potter."

"Hi," Potter mumbled, his hands immediately flying to his hair as he cast a glance at Lily.

"Ragamuffins," Susan scoffed. "They couldn't be any farther. Don't mind Lily, she talks about you all the time." She smiled, shaking both their hands.

"Really?" Sirius asked, turning to look at his friend. "What?"

"Sirius, really!" Lily laughed.

"No, really. I want to know what she says, because she can be pretty outlandish. Like there was this one time where we were learning to fly and she fainted! She actually fainted to get out of it. Can you imagine that? Tiger Lily here, fainted on the grass during one of our first lessons together ever, just so she wouldn't have to fly."

"You never told us that," Aaron frowned down at her.

"Da, wasn't I the one the clowns had to stop the Ferris Wheel for when I was seven? Wasn't I the one that threw up three times at Six Flags Great Adventures two summers ago because I rode all those rides with my eyes closed? Wasn't it I who threatened to kill you if you made me take that hot air balloon ride with you?" she asked.

"You do have that rabid fear of height," he nodded.

"Well, c'mon, let's get your things packed away before we do anything." James interjected, grabbing her trunk from her Da.

The whole group followed The Marauders to the last car on the train as Sirius rambled to her mother about Lily's escapades.

". . . And there was this one time that she and Sunny blew up the Herbology clas-"

"She does like to blow up things," Susan grinned, placing an arm around Lily.

"We did not, that was you!" they cried, each punching him in the arm.

"Nuh, uh!" Sirius protested, swinging Noctem's cage haphazardly. "You could ask Professor Bloom, he saw you!"

"You were the one that kept poking the Exploding Putters." Lily argued, adjusting the strap of her bag. "He said not to disturb them, and you being the masochist that you are, just starting prodding it with your wand. I had to wash my hair like five times to get some of the Sticking Sloglat out."

They were heaving Lily's trunk onto the overhead compartment when they heard the warning ring throughout the platform.

"I guess that means you've got to go?" Aaron asked, looking down at his youngest girl.

"Yeah," she sighed, looking up at him.

Taking her in his arms, he placed a kiss to both her cheeks and in her ear, he whispered, "I'm gunna' miss you."

"I love you Da." She smiled, placing a kiss to his forehead.

Soon, she'd kissed both her mother and Petunia, and wished them farewell. She smiled, then turned and climbed in the compartment.

"Brush your teeth, a lot!" Susan cried from the platform.

And with a final wave, they were off.

* * *

"You were at her house?" James seethed, his eyes glittering with anger.

"Yes," Remus replied coolly, "Was there a law that I couldn't be?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" James asked pushing Remus against the corridor wall, anger singeing his nerve ends.

"You never asked. I wasn't aware that whom I visited was supposed to be public knowledge." Remus replied, not letting James's jealousy bother him.

"They're not, unless you're visiting Evans," he glared, towering over Lupin.

Sirius said nothing as he watched the exchange. It was common knowledge that Potter was head over heels in love with Lily, and only an asshole would try to mess with "Potter's girl."

"Prongs," Remus sighed, scratching his short, light brown hair. "You don't have to worry. You should know by now that Lily is my friend, that's all she'll ever be. I'm sorry, but I'm not in love with her, in fact, she knows that I like someone else."

"Who?" Sirius asked, curiosity prickling at his ears.

"Sunny," Remus sighed, turning back to their compartment.

* * *

"So, Tiger Lily, how was your summer?" Sirius asked, entering the compartment.

"Great," Lily smiled. "I learned how to bewitch the walls to a certain color. I'm learning how to do scenery now. I wanted to tie-dye my room, but I decided against it seeing as I was already in trouble with the Ministry."

"What happened?"

"I fell out of a tree," she said, giving Lupin a pointed look.

An eruption of laughter tumbled around the room, knocking off the walls and bouncing into one another.

"What?" Sirius chuckled, seeing her look of distain.

"I fell out of a tree, and was so sore the next morning that I accidentally blew up my alarm clock . . . my Mum was pissed."

"Why were you in a tree?" Delia asked, a new wave of laughter bubbling from her.

"I was out past curfew, and someone here," she scowled at Lupin again, "happens to be an insomniac. I was late for my French lesson."

"I'm sorry Lily," Remus grinned, "but you were the one that chose the tree-"

"Because, unlike you, I can't jum- climb up to the roof. The tree was easier, I climbed up that thing a million times."

"Then why'd you fall out?" Sunny grinned.

"Because Moony likes to vex me. He shook the limb I was sitting on and caught me off guard, so I fell. Petunia had to convince my parents I fell off the bed while having a late night chat with her."

James watched the two interact with one another, and couldn't help feeling jealous. Lily had invited Moony, one of his friends, into her home, and had even stayed out with him past curfew. But he knew if he'd even stepped on her welcome mat, she'd have some protective spell that'd knock him back to the previous Friday.

"So Tiger Lily," Sirius began, with a faraway look in his eyes, "sparkle of my eye, my world, and love of my life. You've invited my friends into your home, but you forgot about us. You've wounded me!" he cried dramatically, placing his hands over what he supposed was his heart.

"Sirius, I hate to tell you this, but that's not your heart."

Looking down and seeing his hands laid upon the right side of his chest, Sirius looked back at her with an adorable smile.

"Oh, so you're right. I guess I should rethink that."

"Anyways, Fly and Sunny were invited, Remus just showed up one day during my French lesson, and he just spent the day with me. I mean, of course he was the biggest thorn in my side-"

"Hey, isn't that a rose?"

"Be serious, Sirius," she sighed. "But you guys could have just come, I wouldn't have minded."

"Hmm," Sirius thought, comically. "Note to self, bombard Tiger Lily with uninvited visits over the summer."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, so we forgot to ask you," Fly asked. "Did you ever go out with that guy?"

"What guy?" Lily asked.

James ears perked up then, ready to take on anyone who dared to hit on Lily.

"That guy, Frenchie."

"Oh, Esteban?" she said, wrinkling her nose. "Yeah. We went out once."

"Who's Esteban?" James asked, his voice laced in jealousy.

"Isn't that your French tutor?" Remus asked, recognizing the name.

"Yeah," she replied.

"How was it?" Sunny asked, pushing a stray curl from her forehead, oblivious to the fact that Remus was watching her every move.

"It was ok. We went to see this movie; it's new . . . Star Wars. I though it was one of those tacky Trekkie things, but it turned out to be pretty cool. Then we ate, and he took me back home."

"Did he kiss you?" Sunny smiled.

"Uh, mmmmhmm," she mumbled inaudibly, her cheeks glowing red.

"What was that, I didn't catch that?" Sirius asked, a broad smile on his face as he observed James's reaction.

"Yes! He kissed me," Lily sighed.

"How was it?"

"I don't know," she sighed, fidgeting in her seat.

"Good or bad?" Fly asked, noticing her uncomfort.

"After he kissed me, I turned around and ran in the house. I still haven't told Mum or Tuny what happened."

James watched as she turned away from the group and grabbed a book; a sure sign that she wanted to be left alone.

Sinking down lower into her seat, she tried to concentrate on reading "Jude the Obscure" by Thomas Hardy. But her attempt proved fruitless as the words swam around the page in a jumbled mess before her eyes.

She'd forgotten how hazel his eyes were; so hazel that they seemed to shimmer gold at times. In other times, they were chocolate kissed, swirling with something she'd never understood. When he was angry, his eyes were a dark unpronounceable color that could only be called black.

She could feel his eyes on her. She could feel them grazing against her skin, leaving a pleasant warmth in their wake. They were like fingers, trembling as they slowly explored her skin; like a virgin, savoring each moment.

She pushed a stray strand of orange hair from her face, a frown marring her visage.

Where were these thoughts coming from? Wasn't she the one who'd declared, over and over again that she hated him? Wasn't she the one who wouldn't let her heart be overtaken by someone who'd do nothing but hurt her? Wasn't she the one who vowed never to be one of those stupid people who fell head over heels for jerks?

* * *

"We're going to go see some of the guys," Sirius said an hour later, pushing his hair from his eyes; that bored look consuming his countenance.

"So anyways," Fly said, once the boys had sauntered out, "what's been up?"

"I broke up with Ericsson," Sunny said, her eyes dropped to the ground.

"Why?" Lily asked, remembering how in love with him Sunny was.

"It was no use. I mean, him now working in the Ministry and me still in Hogwarts . . . we'd never see one another. Plus, I would have to stop seeing guys, and what's the use if I'm not even seeing the one I'm supposed to. I'd have to act like we're engaged."

"You never could sacrifice for a guy," Lily smiled, sympathetically.

Lily looked at Sunny and couldn't help but think she was the most beautiful person she'd ever laid eyes on. Sure she was pretty, but she was common pretty. All she had was green eyes and red hair, something that any Irish girl would have.

But Sunny was different; Sunny had an exotic beauty that left everyone breathless. From her name, it was obvious that she was French, but that was all you could tell about her nationality. Her dark, creamy mocha skin spanned across her long limbs, with a subtle hint of gold, glowing healthily beneath. Her face was heart shaped with lips the color of pink rose petals, cheekbones high and naturally tented, and a round and narrow nose. Her hair was ebony curls. But those of her features were seemingly common . . . until you saw her eyes. Her eyes were the color of the sky on a rainy day. Their grayish-blueness seemed almost mystical as they regarded something with that simple intensity of hers.

Even on the first day of their meeting, Lily could see how Lupin could fall in love with her.

Fly was like Lily: common. Fly was one of those girls that guys spent countless hours trying to decipher if she was pretty or not. She had short, thick, straight brown hair that curled at her nape. Her skin was honey brown, as if perpetually tanned, gently covering her short- well, shorter than Lily- curvaceous body. She wasn't fat, in fact, she was fairly slim, but she'd been blessed with round hips and full breasts. Her wide, brown eyes were beautiful, but hidden behind her wire rimmed glasses. Her nose was large for her face and sort of beaky.

What separated Fly from all the other beauties walking the halls of Hogwarts on their long, golden legs was her quick wit. She could whisk out a comeback so fast that many people suffered whiplash if they were around her too long.

"Well I can't get too angry about it now... it was really my decision-" Sunny began.

But suddenly, the boys barged back into the compartment, with sated grins.

"What'd you guys do?" Lily asked, anger suddenly flickering in her eyes.

"Why Tiger Lily," Sirius scoffed, the picture of innocence, "why would you suspect us of anything non-Christian like?"

"Because you're not Christian, now what did you do?"

"Nothing," he smiled, running his hands through his hair, his pale blue eyes glazed over.

"Remus?" she asked, her face hardening.

He flushed with guilt, knowing that messing with Lily would mean pain. But upon seeing the death-glares being pelted at him from both sides, he guessed two was worse than one.

"Nothing, Lily."

"If I find Snape, or any Slytherin coming off the train dressed like drag queens, I will not hesitate to turn you guys into their girlfriends." She informed them.

"Hey, that's not fair," Sirius ejaculated, shooting Lily an incredulous glare.

"And why not? It's called karma-"

"Isn't karma supposed to happen naturally?" Delia asked.

"Shut up Fly," Lily sighed. "Why are you guys messing with the Slytherins anyway? We just got here, they haven't even given you guys a chance to hate them."

"We weren't messing with the Slytherins," James said, his hands ruffling his hair involuntarily.

"Then-"

"Just one particular Slytherin," Sirius grinned.

"Sna-"

"Not Snape . . . my little brother, Regulus!"

"Your brother?" Sunny asked, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, I totally forgot he was starting this year. It wasn't until I saw him in one of the cars that I remembered. He'll probably be in Slytherin." He sighed, contently.

"You didn't tell us you had a brother," Fly smiled.

"He's my Mum's favorite, the brat! And since he's my brother, I have every right to hex him until he's unrecognizable." He puffed out his chest proudly.

"Anyways," Lily rolled her eyes, her anger subsiding. "Did you guys see Pete?"

"No," James shook his head. "I sent my owl, Hermes, to look after him."

"Hermes?" Sunny asked.

"Yeah, I got him this summer. Mercury died on me."

"Well, he was like thirty million years old." Remus remarked.

"I'm sorry if I'd rather my favorite owl to a new one. Anyways, I expect they'll be a letter back tomorrow."

"Hermes, messenger to the gods," Delia said thoughtfully. Then she turned to James with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "James, do you fancy yourself a god?"

"Shut up Delia," he sighed, his hands ruffling his hair as his face grew warm.

Suddenly, the room livened with laughter as they all rolled around the cabin in tears.

TBC . . .

P. A/N: so, I hoped you liked this chapter. Um. . . about the Six Flags Great Adventures, well, I am American, sadly, and well, I'm not sure what kind of amusement/ theme parks they've got in that foreign country (aka England) so I just decided to use one that I know all Americans should know. The only problem was that I'm from Chicago, so our Six Flags is called Great America, and I'm pretty sure there's no "Great America" located in England. So I remembered the one in New York, and that's the one that I used. So, if you're from England, don't fret, and if you're from America, don't think I'm being biased, I actually hated New York (too crowded, not enough breathing space).

P. P. A/N: I forgot to tell you, technically, it's 1977, so the thing about Star Wars is true, it had just come out that summer. But I omitted to realize that maybe, Six Flags wasn't even thought of back then. Oh, just so you guys get my time line, they're 16 in '77, so it's '86 when Harry's born, which makes them 25, and 26 when they die. I know it's like an eight year gap from Hogwarts to Harry's birth, but wizards lead a very long life, look Dumbledore, he's been around since Voldemort was Tom Riddle, and Hagrid was a teenager. I think 25 is pretty young to have kids, although some of them have it younger, like Molly (now Weasley) who is only two years older than Lily and James. So, thanks for reading.

P. P. P. A/N: Uh, R&R please, I really like this fic, it takes me time to write b/c there's so much research involved in writing it, and one of my amigs has borrowed my #4, but there's not much info about the Marauders in that one anyway. But I really like this fic, and I'd like to keep going with it, but I can't if I don't know how you guys feel about this. I plan on maybe being a writer, and if I don't get feedback, then I don't learn from my mistakes. So, R&R, peace out. ULTIMATE ROWING!

w/ luv,

Yo-yo


	3. Sweet Sixteen: As IF!

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1

Chapter 3- Sweet Sixteen (As If!):

The day was June 21st, the Summer Solstice- the longest day of the year- and her birthday. It was also the last day of their O.W.L. examinations and to celebrate, her friends had thrown her a party in the courtyard.

Beside it being her birthday, the Summer Solstice had always been her favorite day of the year. For as long as she could remember, she, Petunia and Douggie would spread a blanket on Douggie's roof and watch the sun set. But ever since she'd been accepted into Hogwarts, she'd never been home to revel at the marvel. Instead, she snuck up to the tallest Astronomy tower and watched, usually spending the night by herself under the stars.

The party her friends had thrown was perfect. Everyone was there (even James Potter) eating, drinking and having fun. The party had started with the sun still high in the sky, but it had taken her until sunset to actually begin opening her presents which sat beside the large fountain.

She hadn't received anything from her parents; it was tradition for them to throw her a separate party when she got home. Sunny had given her a quill that tasted of chocolate when sucked. Fly had given her a soft, flannel blanket with little Bludgers, Quaffles, Snitches and brooms whizzing across. Hagrid had given her a gift certificate to Honeydukes, where everyone knew she'd stock up on chocolate frogs. Sirius had given her a mirror he called the Marauder's Mirror which allowed her to communicate with whichever Marauder she named. Remus had gotten her a large, heavy bound book entitled: "What to get for the witch that has everything? Well, a book of nothing, of course!" Peter had given her a photo of all her friends, done with a wizarding camera so they all waved to her, placed in a beautiful frame. Mildred had gotten her a book on practical spells. Alice had knit her a fuzzy, grey sweater. Edgar had given her a pretty, turquoise hair clasp. And a Lithuanian Muggle born, Ieva A/N: Pronounced Yev-ah, had gotten her the new Fleetwood Mac record "Rumors," which Fly immediately asked to hear.

Although she was the only one that noticed James had not gotten her anything, she wouldn't let it get to her. She was just about to stand up and follow Fly just as one of her favorite songs played from an unknown source when she felt someone grab her arm.

She whirled around only to find Potter with that annoyingly cocky grin on his face.

"What James?" she groaned, glancing at her friends who were looking at her suspiciously.

"I haven't given you your present." He said, standing beside her.

"And what is it?" she asked, seeing that the hand that had not gripped her arm was empty.

"Here," he whispered, and in a second, she was flabbergasted.

James Potter had taken her by her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her lips. At that exact moment, someone had taken a photo with a wizarding camera, leaving her slightly dazed. When she realized that they were still attached at the lips, she could feel anger singeing at her fingertips and suddenly lost control.

She didn't realize what had happened until she felt her hand throbbing and saw him lying on the grass with a small trickle of blood seeping down his swollen lip. She could feel her anger building as she went to grab her wand and found it snapped in two.

She was scared.

She was afraid of what had just happened. She was frightened of how she felt and what it meant. She was terrified of how blunt James had been, how instinctive it had felt . . . And most of all, she was afraid of the look in his eyes as he watched her.

Suddenly she turned around and dashed for her dormitory, completely disregarding all the inquisitive stares as she passed her friends, tears in her eyes . . .

"Lily . . ."

She heard a voice call from the depths of slumber.

"Lily," the voice called again. "Hey Lily, get up!"

Reality struck her like a freight train and she started. Opening her eyes, she found herself lying on one of the overstuffed couches of the common room with Sunny and Fly standing over her, already dressed.

"Lily, did you sleep here all night?" Sunny wrinkled her nose.

Lily looked down at the opened book on her chest. She distinctly remembered reading by the lamplight last night . . . and then she wasn't. The next thing she could remember was feeling the cooling breeze hit her feverish body as she exited the Great Hall after their last exam, Transfiguration.

"I guess I did," she sighed, remembering her dream.

"Well, get up will ya'," Fly said, stepping back to let Lily up. "Today is our last day of freedom, so we wanted to do some stuff."

"Like what?" Lily yawned, ruffling back her hair.

"Well, a bunch of us are going to play that game you taught us, Dodge ball, up on our brooms in the Quidditch field. Sunny reckons she'll take a swim in the lake and well, I don't know what you want-"

"I'll join Sunny," Lily said, turning to the girls' dormitory door.

Lily took a change of clothes and her toiletries with her to the lavatory.

"Well, I'll wait for you here," Sunny said, grabbing the book Lily had fallen asleep with and flopped down on her bed.

"And I'm going to be late," Fly said grabbing her broom from beside her bed. "Oh, and come by and watch us. Tell me if you see any good talent up there because we're looking for two new Beaters, and as new Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, I refuse to let us lose to Slytherin."

"Whatever," Sunny yawned, turning to leave.

When she returned, Sunny was deeply engrossed in the Muggle book that she'd taken from Lily.

"Hey, Sunny," Lily said, placing her things back on top of the bookshelves she'd taken from home.

"Oh," Sunny started, ripping her eyes away from the book. "This Muggle book is kind of cool!" she said. "Can I borrow it?"

"Sure," she replied, pushing back her curls. "I've read it about a gazillion times."

Sunny kept reading as Lily pulled her hair into a large tuft on her head, only mildly cursing her curls. Over the summer, her mother had taught her to manage her hair, after deeming Lily too much of a tomboy. Susan had taken her to a salon where the hairdresser taught her how to control her unruly curls and stop the frizz. He'd even taught her how to straighten it, but seeing as she was going out to swim, why go through all the effort to tame her hair when it was just going to get wet and frizzy anyways.

"Ready." She announced, adjusting the elastic.

"Ok, grab some towels and we're ready to go," Sunny smiled putting down the book.

As they made their way down to the lake, Sunny asked her the question she'd been expecting.

"Lil, what's 'the old in-out'?"

Lily laughed a little. Sunny had been reading Anthony Burgess's "A Clockwork Orange" and as usual was confused. It wasn't that Sunny was stupid or anything, but the book was written in English with Russian slang (which Lily was sure had caught Sunny's attention because she spoke a little Russian) and it could be very confusing.

"He raped her," she said simply.

"What?" she turned to Lily, her grey- blue eyes wide with surprise.

"Yeah, it's a pretty freaky book. Are you sure you want to read it?"

"Yeah, it looks good," she sighed, her brows knit. "Is it a good book?"

"Yeah, I mean, it doesn't really make you feel good about humanity and all, but it makes you think. It's a pretty good euphemism of life, anyway."

They were at the lake.

Pulling off her t-shirt and shorts, Lily preformed a bubble charm on herself and stepped into the lake, still warm from the summer months.

* * *

No matter what anyone thought, he always knew when she was around.

When she and Sunny had exited from the school doors, it was as if he could feel her. It was as if she were on his skin, indicating him of her every move.

He watched as she ambled across the lawn and stopped at the lake. He watched as she stripped down to her yellow, one piece bathing suit and waited patiently for Sunny. He watched as she preformed a bubble charm on herself and she stepped into the water. He watched as she submerged beneath the murky depths, leaving only a few bubbles and foam in her wake.

Then suddenly,

WHAM!

"James, where's your head at?" he heard Fly scream from across the field.

He didn't know why she was taking this so seriously. Term hadn't even begun and she was already coaching them on their flying technique. They weren't even scheduled to begin Quidditch practice for a good three weeks and she was already scouting potential players.

If there was ever a word that he would use to describe Delia Flynn, it'd have to be determined. Or maybe witty. Or even obsessive. From the first day that he'd met her, he'd been immediately blown away by her presence. Even now, she only stood at five feet, shorter than all of her friends, and yet everyone knew not to mess with her- or Lily when she was upset.

"Man, what were you staring at?" Caleb, the Gryffindor seeker asked him. "You were like in a daze."

If there was one word that he would use to describe Caleb Krugal, it'd be stupid. But in the wide world of Quidditch, that didn't matter because although Caleb was a dimwit, he was still one of the best Seekers that Gryffindor had ever procured.

"Sorry," he sighed, rubbing the spot on his head where the Quaffle had attacked him, he turned back towards the rest of the players.

There were about thirty of them, all from different houses, flying in two large clumps opposite one another with about six Quaffles under possession. He knew most, there were Fly, Sirius, Caleb and Austin Gibbins (who was the Gryffindor keeper). Then there were Suze Hermit, Imogene Liotta, Rafe Lorenz and Horatio Smith, who were all Ravenclaws, but only Imogene and Rafe were on the Quidditch team. There was also Bryan Corner, Mercutio and Benvolio Capulet (who were twins), Catalina Love, Pierce Peters and Julius Corone who were all in Hufflepuff and were all on the Quidditch team. Then there were two Slytherins that he couldn't name and the rest were younger years that he didn't even bother to learn the names of during the years.

"Whatever," Fly groaned, calling the game back into play. Soon there was a shower of Quaffles darting around the Quidditch field, trying to hit opposing players and knock them off their brooms.

By the end of the game, James was being knocked off his broom more than he'd like to and more than was usual. Everyone saw his vulnerability and attacked him, leaving him no mercy. For Lily Evans was sitting in the stands with Sunny- doing just as Fly asked and surveyed the players- and by the way that James had been playing, they were trying to think of nice ways to tell Fly that he should be kicked off the team(hey, he could barely stay on his broom!). The moment he felt her eyes on him, his perfect game failed miserably, and soon he was just dodging the Quaffles with his broom, trying his damnedest not to get knocked off (which wasn't working).

When Fly had finally blown her whistle, signifying the end of the game, James hurtled to the ground and sprinted into the locker room for a quick shower. He knew as soon as everyone had heard how horribly he'd played a simple Muggle game like Dodge ball, he'd be pelted with insults for as long at they'd remember.

"God, what the hell was wrong with you today?" Fly asked him as soon as he climbed up the portrait hole.

"I got distracted." He answered, not even picking up his head.

"By what, a cloud? A bird? A blade of grass?" she practically yelled. "If you're going to get 'distracted' like this during a game I won't be liable for the pounding I give you."

"Fly, it was a bloody game," he seethed, feeling just as livid as she looked. "It was a bloody Muggle game, stop trying to turn everything into a Quidditch match! So I messed up, it was a GAME- only a game."

"Well to you, this might have been only a game-"

"Fly, it was a game for everyone else there also. And if you want to blame someone for ruining something, blame yourself for making it into a contest. Everyone was having fun until you started blowing up at everyone and correcting them." He groaned before heading up to his dorm.

Opening the door to his dormitory, he found it empty save for two guys, Peter Pettigrew and Edgar Bones.

Peter was none other than the fourth of the Marauders, and had arrived this morning by Hogwarts Express. It seemed the baby his mother had over the summer had taken ill, so he wasn't able to catch the train and had to send owl for a later one.

"Hey Prongs," Peter smiled while folding a Muggle shirt and placing it neatly on his bed.

"Hey Wormtail," he replied, plopping backwards onto his four poster, his eyes staring at the ceiling.

"Do you know where the others are?"

"Padfoot is taking a shower from our Dodge ball game, and the last I saw of Moony, he was curled up in the common room reading one of Lily's Muggle books."

Peter was the oddball of the Marauders, although not to say that he wasn't essential. Peter was short, only a few inches taller than Fly. He was slightly over-weight and he was always nervous. His blonde hair was short and cut in a bowl shape, his eyes were a watery blue, and everything about him seemed round. Many of the students at Hogwarts wondered how Peter had become a Marauder, but that never fazed them. They would all trust Peter with their lives, and never doubted his loyalty. He may not have been as good looking, but when you're a guy, when does another guy's looks really matter?

"What's wrong with you?" this time Edgar asked.

Edgar Bones had been sharing the same dorm with them since first year and was still oblivious to their escapades. Edgar slept like a rock and cared not for other peoples business. He was born from a long line of wizards, just as James, and had inherited the family's good magic capabilities.

Edgar was pretty smart, but quiet and recluse. He had a select group of friends and preferred not to step away from his comfort zone. Many people believed that Edgar would have better fitted the role as the final Marauder. He was tall and lanky with shaggy blonde hair that hung over his shoulders. His eyes were blue, with tiny flecks of brown lining the iris, and were covered by dark glasses.

"It's nothing, just Delia." He groaned again, this time flopping down on his stomach. "She's being a major bitch again and it's just getting on my nerves."

* * *

"Good morning Tiger," Sirius grinned, grabbing the muffin from her hands and taking a big bite.

"Die," she groaned, grabbing another muffin and shooting him her patented Lily glare, daring him to try and take it.

As soon as Sirius had entered the Great Hall, about one-third of the female population had swiveled around, desperate to capture his attention. She had noticed the death glares being pelted her way as he plunked down in the seat beside her and gave her that goofy grin. It was the norm at Hogwarts, and Lily was tired of it. It seemed after the three years since he'd hit puberty they should have understood that they were just friends and nothing would ever come of that relationship.

"Tiger Lily, why so grumpy?" he grinned, knowing full well that Lillian Evans was not a morning person. In fact, once, she'd made that point crystal clear by bewitching away his mouth after he'd thoroughly annoyed her.

"Sirius," she grinned sweetly while waving her wand at him, "if you don't shut up, I'll shut you up."

"Fair enough," he grinned taking another bite of her muffin.

Just then, Fly, Sunny, Remus, Peter, and James entered the room and made a beeline straight for her and Sirius. When James saw her, his hands immediately flew to his hair.

"Hey guys," Peter said immediately going for the plate of eggs and bacon.

Sirius snatched a piece of bacon from Lily's plate and munched.

"Padfoot, if you ever want to keep your hands, I advise you to stop taking from my plate," she groaned. "Steal from Sunny. She's not going to eat half of it anyways."

"Hey," Sunny cried, looking up at Lily. "I might . . . eventually."

"Here are your schedules," Gia Briggs, one of Gryffindor's newly appointed perfects said, each accepting their respective schedules.

"Ugh," Lily groaned. "Double Arthimancy this morning. Followed by double Potions after lunch, Herbology, and Transfiguration. I don't even get Charms on my first day."

"Hey, that's my schedule too!" James beamed grabbing the parchment from her hands. "In fact, that's my exact schedule. We've got every lesson together."

"Yay," Lily deadpanned, snatching the schedule from him.

"Well, I've got Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies in the morning." Fly said. "But otherwise, my after lunch schedule is the same."

When they finished checking one another's schedules, Sunny made a realization.

"Wait, no one has classes on Friday do they?"

They all shook their heads.

"Does that mean that all the sixth years get a day off?"

They all shrugged their shoulders. Standing up, she rushed to a couple of sixth years at other tables and finally rushed back, her face pink with excitement.

"We got Fridays off!"

"Whoo hoo!" Peter yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a few raised eyebrows to be tossed their way.

After everyone had calmed down, Lily turned to her friends, minus Potter.

"Who got a perfect 'Outstanding' in Herbology?"

Sunny, Peter, Sirius, James and Remus all raised their hands.

"Well," she faltered, surprised at all the raised hands. "Well- well good. I'm going to need someone to tutor me."

"Why?" Fly asked, taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

"I got an E in Herbology and my Mum went ballistic. It was my only E and she almost threw me out. You should have seen Tuny, it was as if her birthday came early. My Dad left the house; he didn't want to stand her fury. She said if I don't get a perfect N.E.W.T. in Herbology, she was going to murder me."

"Well, why are you worrying now? Sixth year is one of the easier years because you're only preparing for you N.E.W.T. year, so the workload will be respectively lighter."

"I know," she sighed. "And I usually don't take my Mum's threats to heart, but it's just that she's a florist and can't understand for the life of her how I didn't get top grades in Herbology. She was so mad. She prayed to her dead Mum. She even forced me to work at her flower shop this summer, without pay! She said I didn't deserve payment. She kept mumbling about how I'm named for a flower for God's sakes, she basically said that I had to be the hugest idiot in order not to pass."

"What does your father do?" Peter asked, grabbing another roll.

"He works for the Muggle Post. He's not a mail carrier; he's like a manager to a branch or something." She answered. "I kept trying to tell Mum that we're not dealing with Poppies and Geraniums. I kept telling her about Devil's Snare, Mandrakes and Gillyweed, but she kept yelling saying that no matter what, I should have passed the class. She said growing was in my blood and in my soul and I had shamed the family by failing the class."

"But you didn't fail!" Sunny argued.

"But I didn't get a perfect either. Any other class it wouldn't have mattered if I had gotten an E, but Herbology is the one class my Mum will accept nothing less than perfection. She's never been this upset over a grade. Once I got an F in my English class because I wasn't cooperating with the teacher and she didn't even yell a fraction as much as this time. She just smiled when I got my Bacs A/N: I know in France that they've got the Baccalaureate, but I'm not sure how England determines if their kids can pass to the next year. So if anyone can correct me, go ahead and I'll repost this chapter. back and said she knew I was a genius."

Peter checked his watch and then turned back to the group,

"Guys, we gotta' get going, we don't want to be late for our first class."

"Whatever." They all groaned, heading towards Gryffindor tower to retrieve their respective literature.

A/N: I know you're thinking, wait, but Lily's afraid of heights, so why would she go to the tallest Astronomy tower to watch the sunset? Well, she's looking straight across the sky, not staring down at the quickly approaching ground.

P. A/N: I hoped uz liked this chapter. Please Review and tell me how you felt, your input is greatly appreciated and considered. Not much Jily (that just looks and sounds weird, huh?) action going on at the end of the chapter, but don't worry. Plus, I think I'm writing them too friendly, and it's starting to scare me. So whatever. Tell me what you think.

W/ luv,

Yo-yo


	4. Snogging in the Corridors

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

Chapter 4- Snogging in the Corridors:

"Mr. Snape, is there a reason why you've decided on that particular look to start your first sixth year N.E.W.T. Transfiguration class?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, ripping his eyes from the piece of parchment he'd been perusing.

A few kids snickered as they turned in their seats to look at him.

"Well, I never thought of you as the pink hair, blue eye shadow type of guy."

Lily swiveled around in her seat, immediately gasping. Her hand immediately flew to her lips in order to muffle a few escaped giggles.

Severus Snape's once black, greasy hair had been bewitched an obscene shade of pink that reminded her of cotton candy. The pink hair was done in an out-of-date bob with the ends flipped upwards. His face had been heavily made up, complete with rosy pink cheeks, scarlet red lips, ultramarine blue eyelids and a faux mole on his right cheek. He even wore two giant pearls in his ears!

Grabbing the compact mirror Slytherin, Caroline Razby had extended to him, anger flooded his features as his black eyes swept the students of the class, finally resting on the Marauders.

"Who did this?" he seethed.

Lily, along with three-quarters of the class followed his gaze to the four boys settled comfortably in their seats. They all sat back, an air of nonchalance surrounding them as they casually perused their schoolbooks as if oblivious to the situation.

"Potter," Professor McGonagall implored, turning towards the "innocent" quartet. "Did you have anything to do with this?"

Starting at his name, James looked up at her, his huge, hazel eyes wide in their adorable puppy-dog expression.

"Excuse me Professor McGonagall? I didn't catch what you were saying. I was totally engrossed in our new schoolbook. Did you know that Epstein Horalto transfigured the first dinosaur? He was a great man!"

"I'm sure he was Mr. Potter, but I would like to know if you had anything to do with Mr. Snape's sudden appeal to cross-dressing?"

"Well," James smirked, his hand flying to his hair as he quickly glanced at Lily. "Would you like the truth or would you like the TRUTH?" he asked, emphasizing the latter to demonstrate its distinction.

"The latter would suffice." She said evenly, although her thin lips seemed to twitch in a small smile.

"Well, I di-"

Just as he began arguing his case, the class erupted in hysterics. When James began to talk, Snape began sprouting breasts that were currently inflating the front of his robes.

Turning to James, she watched as he smugly breathed on his fingers and buffed them on his robes.

Sure his prank was funny and got the desired effect that he wanted, but it was still cruel. He was doing as he'd always done.

He was exploiting those that he felt were inferior to him. He'd done it a million times, and she still couldn't understand why. He said he did it for the good of his classmates, He blamed it on Severus's attitude. But stooping down to Snape's level had made him no better than Snape, no matter how he tried to rationalize it.

She hated the way he could hurt someone without batting an eyelash. She hated the way his cruelty came so easily to him, the way he enjoyed it, the way he took pleasure in other people's faults.

Sure Snape had told her countless times that he didn't want her sympathies, but she couldn't ignore the anger emitting from her in waves. She couldn't help feeling an iota of empathy for him.

The way that he sat by himself, pouring over his studies. He had no friends. Even his fellow Slytherins weren't really his friends. They didn't associate with him after classes, in the corridors or during free periods. Even when he sat at the Slytherin table during meals with about two hundred students surrounding him, he still seemed totally alone. No one stuck up for him when the Marauders played their vicious pranks on him. No one seemed to acknowledge that he even existed. He fought alone for a cause that no one but himself seemed to understand.

Facing the front of the classroom, she ignored the cheers and laughter emitting from the brainless minds.

Then suddenly, she got an idea. Turning back in her seat, her eyes swiveled back to the Marauders. They were all leaning back in their chairs with anti-toppling charms keeping them upright. James was still buffing his fingers on his robe, the picture of innocence. Remus's nose was buried in a book, obviously oblivious to the commotion in the room. Peter was bobbing his head and humming Twisted Sim's "Magic in my Attic." And Sirius had stretched his long legs before him on his desk with a look of boredom consuming his beautiful eyes beneath the curtain of black hair.

Mumbling something under her breath, she pointed her wand at the quartet. Suddenly,

CRASH!

The entire classroom erupted in a new wave of hysterical laughter.

All four Marauders had simultaneously fallen to the floor, ruining their façade.

Lily stifled the laughter bubbling from her lips. She loved their looks of total confusion as they struggled from their fallen positions, and straightened their seats.

"That was so funny!" Sunny grinned, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"You'd think Potter would have thought to put an anti-topple charm on his chair?" Lily frowned slightly, her smile too big to actually fake the emotion.

"Class, class," Professor McGonagall cried into the sea of laughter. "Calm down please. We need to start the lesson. Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin, detention after dinner, you know where."

Snape shot them a withering glare as McGonagall flicked her wand and the pink hair and caked on make-up were transformed into greasy hair and paled skin. The breasts also gone.

The Marauders nodded and reciprocated Snape's glare.

* * *

"Today was easy," Lily grinned, popping a chocolate leg into her mouth. "No homework."

"Yeah, for the first day back, today was pretty eventful." Sunny grinned recalling the look on the Marauder's faces when they fell.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," Fly declared, "if Potter and Black think they are going to lose it on a broom like they did in McGonagall's class, then they've got another thing coming. I'm not coaching a team of losers."

Lily and Sunny both rolled their eyes. That had become Delia's mantra over the past few months.

Delia Flynn was the only girl on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and she made sure everyone knew it. When Oswald Jase- last year's Gryffindor Captain- had given her the title, she'd made it perfectly clear that just because she was a girl didn't mean she was going to be sympathetic. She'd also made it perfectly clear that Delia Flynn's team was going to be the best Gryffindor team in Hogwarts history. She even started a rule that if the existing team players didn't excel during the Gryffindor team tryouts, she'd exchange the players for "better" ones.

"You're too focused on Quidditch," Lily said, tearing off the frog's head.

"Just because you're not interested doesn't mean the rest of the world can't be. I'm sorry I'm not so interested in lose-ball!"

"It's football, and it is a great sport!" Lily frowned. "If you're going to mock me then I'm just not going to teach you that charm I learned over the summer to play Muggle records."

"I'll be nice!" Fly squeaked.

She loved Muggle music.

* * *

"You guys are late." Fly stated as James, Sirius and Peter settled into their seats at Gryffindor table.

"Well I'm sorry MOTHER," Sirius frowned, grabbing a bowl of mashed potatoes and leaning over her for the flask of pumpkin juice.

"Your hair is messed up and you've got lipstick on your neck," she said then looked up, "and a newly formed hickey."

"Damn," Sirius groaned, moving to cover the hickey with his hand. "I told her to stop. God, she gets on my nerves."

"Then why do you make out with her?" Lily asked, not knowing who they were talking about.

"Because she's hot and a slut." He replied, taking a piece of broccoli from her plate.

"Guys," Lily sighed, "a life-form I'll never understand."

"There's nothing to understand," Remus said. "Whatever's stupid, we'll do."

"So is that why you guys are all late?" Sunny asked, taking a spoonful of Sirius's mashed potatoes.

"No," Peter piped in. "Padfoot and Prongs were snogging in the corridors. And I had to retrieve something from the dorm."

"Why didn't you just get it after dinner?" Lily asked, seemingly unfazed by James's escapades with an unknown girl.

"We've got detentions with McGonagall. She makes it longer if we're late."

"I guess you guys are used to it," Sunny began, "but I'd freak if I got detention on my first day of lessons."

"Actually, this is our first time." James said, a mouth full of bread.

"Eww James, close your mouth when you- Wow! She hoovered you!"

"What does that mean?" he asked turning to Lily.

"On your neck, she sucked on you like a vacuum." She said, staring at the hickey on his neck. "Man, I've never seen a hickey that big! Even when Petunia came home late that one time after curfew and my parents found a huge hickey on her shoulder- it wasn't that big! Damn, you must taste really go-"

Her eyes grew wide at the realization of what she was just about to say.

"I meant, you must have really liked her."

"What was that Tiger Lily?" Sirius asked, his cheeks full of food as he grinned.

"Nothing, I- I said he must have l- liked her." She faltered, her eyes on her food now.

"I'm sure Potty wouldn't mind giving you a private tasting." He said in her ear, just loud enough for both her and Potter to hear.

"Oh God!" she groaned, her cheeks aflame as she clenched her eyes shut, praying that it was a dream.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" she whispered to herself, willing herself to be back in her four-poster, with all the probing eyes gone.

"Are you admitting that you dream about me?" Potter muttered in her ear, a small smirk curling his lips as he watched her body tremble softly at his close proximity.

"So, what's a vacuum?" Sunny asked, trying to relieve the embarrassing conversation.

"Well, I'm full," Lily said, pushing away her napkin and standing from her seat.

"You barely ate," James smiled, loving the way she blushed.

"I'm sure she's just picturing you and Sirius snogging in the corridors and it upset her stomach." Fly said, standing from her own seat. "It's definitely making my stomach turn," she frowned, turning to Lily. "Shall we go?"

"Indubitably old chap!" Lily grinned grabbing her arm and they both left the Great Hall.

* * *

"Shit!" she groaned, jerking her hand from the Virulent Vine.

Its razor sharp leaves had lunged out and caught her arm, leaving an angry gash.

"Miss Evans, are you alright?" Professor Bloom asked, his magnifying goggles making him look as if he were about to cry.

"Yeah," she managed, holding her arm out for him to see.

"Fortunately for you, Hogwart's vines aren't very potent. Mr. Potter, will you please escort Miss Evans to Madame Pomphrey's office?"

"Sure," he smiled looking up from his YW (Young Wizard's) magazine.

Following her from greenhouse number three, Potter placed his hand at her lower back and led her towards the Nurse's quarter.

"Evans, why would you be fooling around with a Virulent Vine anyway?" he asked, as they marched up to the second floor.

"I wasn't fooling around with it," she groaned, wiggling from his grasp. "I was trying to follow the Professor's instructions and trying to juice them. We need the essence of vine for our Veritaserum for Potions next week."

"Why didn't you ask anyone to help you?"

"I didn't need anyone's help-"

"God, that's your damn problem!" James whispered angrily.

"What?" she asked, anger lacing her own voice.

"You don't ever ask for help. You always want to do everything on your own! That's why you didn't get an O in Herbology last year, you keep-"

"Oh, I ask for help, Potter. Just never from you!" she countered, her eyes flickering with green flames.

"And why not? I'm top of the class Lily. God, all of your friends are my friends, do you really think I'd do something to you? Are you that afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you!" she argued, stopping in the middle of the corridor and turning to him.

"Then what the hell keeps you from actually acknowledging me as a human being?" he was shouting now.

"The fact that you aren't a human being! You are the most pompous, ignorant, vile, and poor excuse for a human being I've ever laid eyes on! Where do you get off treating people the way that you do? Where do you get off acting as though you own everyone and they should thank the graces that you allowed them in your presence?"

"I don-"

"Yes you do!" she was shouting too. "You treat people like your damn servants. I don't know how anyone can put up with that egoTESTical attitude of yours! That stunt you pulled in Transfiguration last week, it wasn't funny! It was mean. It was degrading and sad and I'm so sorry that you think it's ok to hurt people like that. I find it so- God, infuriating that you would actually do that as a form of entertainment. Thank God I knocked you off your high pedestal, you'd probably still be grinning like a fucking idiot for humiliating Snape like that!"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice low and his eyes darkening.

Lifting her chin and meeting her eyes, she wouldn't let herself be put down by him.

"I knocked you all out of your seats."

"You WHAT?"

"You heard me, 'I KNOCKED YOU OUT OF YOUR SEATS'!"

"WHY?" He growled, his eyes burrowing into hers.

"Because I-"

Before she could finish her statement, her eyes had rolled back in her head and she fainted.

"Shit!" Potter groaned, catching her before she fell. "Double Shit!" he groaned, lifting her into his arms and speeding towards the Nurse's quarter.

* * *

"Hey Lil," Sunny said, beside her hospital bed. "I heard that you got hurt."

"It's no big deal," Lily faked a smiled, while pushing her curls from her face. "Just a simple cut. I'll be back up tomorrow."

"What happened? James like freaked out and wouldn't tell anyone anything. Right now he's sitting in the common room staring at the flames. Did he do something?" Fly asked, her brown eyes wide behind her glasses.

"We had an argument, nothing major." Lily lied, laying her head on her pillow. "I guess me getting so revved up, coupled with the fact that I'd gotten injured by a poisonous plant just seemed to overload my system. I fainted. Madame Pomphrey says she just wants to keep me until the morning to make sure the poison's out of my system, and I should be in classes tomorrow."

"James is really freaked." Fly said, looking down at her friend, not believing for a second that she was fine. But she knew she didn't want to talk about it and she wasn't going to press.

"Well tell him I'll be fine, it's not like he tried to kill me or anything. We can continue the stupid argument tomorrow." She groaned, not wanting to talk about Potter.

"Ladies, your ten minutes are up," Madame Pomphrey called, coming in to shoo the girls out. "Talk to her later. Right now she needs her rest. She's got to throw up all that poison tonight."

"Eww!" All three girls cringed, not too fond of regurgitation.

When they left the room, Lily sighed and faced the wall.

She was wrong, she knew she was. She didn't even know where her anger flared from . . . or his.

Thinking back she tried to recall a time when he'd made her mad enough to feel that way. But the only thing she could recollect was something . . . something about snogging in the corridors.

TBC . . .

A/N: hoped you guys liked this chapter. It only took me two days to write, but like thirty years to think up. I'm currently writing about four other fics, so during the school year, these chapters will come out slowly, but they will come. Oh, and wasn't American football. I was referring to Soccer (which would be football in England), which is a really cool sport to watch, b/c the boys are really sexy.

w/ luv,

Yo-yo


	5. Animagi

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

A/N: I changed Dee's nickname and surname in this chapter and the one's preceeding it. Her name is now Delia Flynn, therefore, her nickname is now Fly because I just thought it was cooler to have a Quidditch nut named Fly, don't you think? Well, I may change it back if you's really don't like it, but I just think it's better this way. Well, thanks for reading, and I hope you don't get confused. And to the real Fly, if you're reading this, we miss you and need you to come back. Everyone hates one another now; I need someone to help me hide the bodies. w/ luv, Yo-yo. ULTIMATE ROWING! AND FREE WILLY!

Chapter 5- Animagi:

This was where he was meant to be.

Where the sky was so close he could almost touch the stars. Where he could see the creases and craters of the moon's kind face. Where the wind ran her fingers through his hair. Where the night whispered its secrets in his ear. And where he could feel his soul rise from his body, mingling with the harmony of the world he was meant to belong.

His stomach lurched every time- exhilaration mixed with just an iota of fear. And every time he couldn't imagine a world where this elation didn't exist.

"Potter!" Fly's voice bellowed, breaking from his reverie.

"What?" he groaned, soaring down to her altitude.

"Just because you're on the team doesn't mean you can do what you want," she glared, "you've still got to tryout."

"Yeah, whatever." He frowned, looking down.

"James, I know you're the best player-"

But he wasn't listening. Instead his attention was on the three huddled heads in the stands. He groaned to himself. Sitting in the middle, equipped with notepads were Lily, Sunny and Remus.

God, Lily looked beautiful then. Her dark red curls seemed to shimmer on her head, making her stick out like a sore thumb. The air was comfortable with a slight cool breeze caressing its way past them. She was wearing an olive green tank top, denim shorts and white sneakers. In the seat behind her lay a discarded hoodie, matching the tank she wore.

"What are they doing here?" he asked, pointing. "I mean, Lily doesn't even like Quidditch."

Fly sighed.

Ever since Lily had come back from her night in the Infirmary, Lily and James hadn't so much as looked at one another. Of course their civility had been as "normal" as possible- meaning they barely spoke- but their tension was having a strain on everyone else. Sensitive to Lily's feelings, both Fly and Sunny had almost completely stopped talking to him and the Marauders.

"James," she began, her voice pacified. "What exactly happened between you two? First you guys were barely friends, and now . . . you guys are back to where you were last year after her birthday. What happened?"

"Nothing happened," James frowned, looking away from the trio. "We had an argument, and then we stopped talking. In the past five years, how many times had that happened?"

"Well that's what I'm not understanding. Why has it happened so many times in the past five years, what do you guys have against one another?"

"Against?" he asked, his brows rose as if she'd mistaken him as a woman. "I have nothing against her. It's she that has this two foot pole up her ass! God, everyone knows I like her, including her, and yet she still insists on treating me like shit!"

Fly watched as he looked everywhere but at the girl sitting below with the flaming red hair. And something popped into her head.

She looked down at the girl who'd sworn her utter hatred of James, a realization dawned on her.

"Maybe she likes you too." She whispered, her eyes still on the girl.

"What?" he asked, swiveling his eyes towards her.

"What?" she asked looking up, not realizing she'd spoken those words. "I didn't say anything." She lied.

"Yes you did, you said she might like me back." He insisted, his eyes burrowing into hers.

"N-no I didn't." she frowned, his dark eyes making her falter.

"Delia Flynn . . ."

"Ok," she sighed, failing under his penetrating stare. "I'm not sure, but sometimes . . . sometimes she acts as if there's something she's hiding, or trying not to think of. Sometimes, it's as if she knows something that she'd rather not own up to. She is scared of something. I'm not sure what, and you can't quote me . . . but, she might like you back."

James turned and looked down at the trio in the stands, his eyes falling on the redhead.

". . . I told her she was afraid of me . . ."

"What?"

"I told her she was afraid of me, and that's what made her mad." He closed his eyes, and looked back at Fly, "Could it be true?"

"I don't know, but maybe." She turned away from him. "C'mon, we've got tryouts to conduct."

* * *

She stared up at the moon, she smiled. It reminded her of a pregnant belly, all swollen and life-sustaining, hanging up in the sky.

It wasn't full yet.

But tomorrow it would be, and Remus would be carted off to the Shrieking Shack, with the alibi of visiting his sick aunt.

Yes, she knew.

It was the beginning of their third year, a week after Professor McGonagall introduced the class to Animagi. That night, after Lily had sneaked up to the tallest Astronomy tower and watched the sunset, she heard a rustling beneath her. In the crack in the trapdoor, she watched as four boys appeared from beneath an Invisibility cloak and hurried to close the trapdoor and place an Imperturbable Curse on it.

As soon as they'd deemed the room safe, Remus and Potter began lighting candles, leaving Peter and Sirius to sit on the floor, the candlelight distorting their faces.

"Did you guys hear Professor McGonagall in Transfiguration the other day?"

"Yeah," they all agreed, as James took a seat between Peter and Sirius.

"Well, its been stuck in my head ever since she'd said it. Do you guys think we can do it?"

"Do what?" Sirius asked cautiously, his blue eyes dark.

"Well, become Animagi." James answered, as if one of the most intelligent ideas he'd ever thought up.

"You want us to become Animagi?" Peter asked, his watery blue eyes skittered over each Marauder's face.

"Yeah-"

"I'm game." Sirius smiled, scratching his short black hair.

"What!" Remus exclaimed, almost jumping up from his seat. "Why in the hell would you even consider it? Did you actually hear what McGonagall said? She said that Animagus transformations can go horribly wrong-!"

"- You can come out inside out, you can permanently be covered in fur, you can be turned into half a person or even kill yourself. . . blah, blah, blah," Sirius deadpanned. "We paid attention, but I agree with Ja-"

"How can you possibly agree with James? He hasn't even said anything, much less anything competent! He always comes up with cockamamie ideas, and this one is the most dangerous." He turned to James. "Why would you even think this?"

"To help you," James said simply, pushing back his hair.

"What?" Remus asked, his brown eyes wide.

"Once every month you've got to suffer under the moon in the Shrieking Shack. The next day you're always hurt really bad . . . Maybe we can help you. Maybe we can make it a little easier for you to go through this. And just maybe-"

"And just maybe you'll get yourself killed. Hell, you might get bitten."

"We won't get bitten." Sirius said.

"And how do you know that? How can you be truly sure?" Remus asked, looking each one in the face. "Did you even think how I'd feel? Did you even-?"

"Yeah," James sighed. "I thought you'd be ecstatic! I thought you would love hanging with us when you couldn't be with anyone else. I thought- "

"You thought that I'd want to put my friends in danger? You thought that I wouldn't be upset, feel guilty if I accidentally bit one of you and cursed you to the same life that I live? You thought that I would want to risk you guys' expulsion? Want to ruin your lives? Want to explain to Professor Dumbledore and your parents why I disobeyed the rules of my admittance and in the process turned you guys into snarling beasts? Did you really want me to love that?"

"You're too dramatic." Sirius sighed, gently punching him in the arm.

"Sure, I'm just way too dramatic when your mother finds out that you're a half-breed and starts sending me howlers laced with poison and killer owls." Remus sneered. "Yeah, I'll be a total Drama Queen when I'm dead!"

Suddenly Peter busted into a fit of laughter, causing inquisitive glances from the remaining Marauders.

"Well," he chuckled, holding on to his sides. "Well, you describing yourself as a Drama Queen," he managed, "it made me think of the charm that Evans put on James last night in the common room."

James's eyes darkened.

"No offense James, but you could totally have your own act."

"Shut up Peter," James groaned, "Lillian Evans is a total idiot. She's stupid and ugly-"

"-And is the only girl that can totally embarrass the hell out of you. It was really funny man!" Sirius grinned. "How she catches you off guard like that, I'll never know. But she's quick. No wonder she's on the top in Charms . . . she always has you to practice on!"

Remus, Peter and Sirius all erupted in another fit of laughter so great that soon they were rolling on the ground, clutching their sides with tears rolling from their eyes.

"Shut up!" he groaned, pushing his black hair from his forehead.

"You gotta' admit," Remus said, who'd been as upset as James a couple of minutes ago. "You gotta' admit, she did get you good. You didn't even realize it until you got ready for bed!"

"SHUT UP!" James growled, his eyes brown flames.

Finally, after many long moments, they finally calmed down and decided to leave.

Lily was relieved but her mind was also reeling from the new information.

Remus Lupin was a werewolf.

Remus Lupin the guy she usually sat up with studying and reading Muggle literature. Remus Lupin who'd told her many things in confidence. Remus Lupin who'd been her first male friend in Hogwarts was a werewolf.

She'd been so preoccupied by the new information that she'd forgotten to be more quiet getting from the tower and ran into a very solid . . . nothing.

"Lily!" they all gasped at the same time, their voices in a hushed whisper.

Sighing, she followed them to the common room, preparing herself mentally for the interrogation.

And it sure did pack a wallop.

As soon as she climbed in from the portrait hole, she was met with four pair of blazing eyes: two blue, one hazel and one dark brown.

"I-"

"You heard us didn't you?" Potter accused.

"N-no." she lied, but cursed by those famous Evans' eyes, they knew she was lying. Everyone always knew when she was lying. Those damn almond- shaped green eyes always revealed whatever she was feeling. There was no use in her ever lying, with those huge, expressive eyes, even Veritaserum was a waste.

"Lily?" Remus said, his eyes wide and she felt her heart break.

"I-" she sighed, looking down at the carpet. "I- I didn't mean to. I was just watching the sunset and suddenly I hear you guys come in the trapdoor and I just . . . froze."

His brown eyes were wide- scared. He wasn't only scared; he was hurt, betrayed; someone he'd considered a friend had spied on him, as if she didn't trust him . . . as if she didn't know him. He looked as if she'd just run over his boyhood puppy, Scooter, and had laughed while driving away.

"I- I'm so sorry, Remus," she said, suddenly bursting into tears. "I didn't mean to do that. I- I didn't know what to do!" she looked up into his eyes. "You're my friend and I had no right to spy on you- but I guess I knew . . . you're a werewolf."

All four of them stared at her as if she'd just uttered an obscenity.

"I- I didn't even know they were real." She said, her eyes burrowed into his, beseeching him to forgive her.

"How-?" Potter began, but stopped.

She was a Muggle-born. She didn't even know that werewolves existed, so that meant she didn't know the stigmatism that surrounded them either.

"Lily-" Remus began, coming up to her so she sobbed on his shoulder.

"I won't tell anyone. I'm so, so s- sorry. I thought they were just something that Muggles made to scare little children. I just thought it was a myth . . . I didn't mean to- God, I can't even imagine what it's like to be you. God, I'm so damned nosy . . . My Mum says that all the time- and that I eat too much chocolate- but she says I don't think about the ramifications, I don't think about others. I'm so sorry!"

By the end of the night she'd been sworn to secrecy and been made a silent member of the Marauders, although she still hated one of its members. And over the years she'd kept many of the group's secrets. It was she that presided over their first Animagus transformations. It was she who helped them prepare, aided them in gathering the potion ingredients and perfected the incantation. It was she who'd helped them pick their animal to transform into, and it was she who at first assisted with Remus in trying to discourage the Animagus endeavor.

* * *

Gently rubbing the moisture from her hair with the fuzzy yellow towel, she stepped out of the perfects' bathroom humming Van Morrison's "Brown-Eyed Girl."

With her eyes closed, she softly sang the chorus. It had been one of her favorite songs, which of course she'd never own up to in the real world. One Mothers' Day she and Petunia burst into her parents' room singing it and bearing breakfast, effectively waking her mother up and getting them both grounded.

Suddenly, she crashed into a very firm- something. When she looked up, she wasn't surprised- with her luck- to find herself staring into the most beautiful set of hazel eyes ever crafted.

"Evans."

"Potter." They'd both said simultaneously, only to be followed by complete silence.

It was obvious that he'd just gotten back from Quidditch practice. It'd been a week since tryouts and of course he'd made the team, in the same position.

He stood before her with his black hair plastered to his forehead from the rain, curling at the ends quite handsomely. His face was a mixture of sweat and rain, with a little rivulet running down his rather long nose, making little drops at the end, which were meticulously dropping to his soaked robes.

From her first sighting of him in their fifth year on the Hogwarts Express, she could only describe James Potter as one thing: beautiful.

It seemed over the summer he'd been transformed into this . . . Adonis. He'd towered above her, standing at a respectable six feet. He'd hit puberty, and hell, it seemed to have agreed with him. He reminded her of a prince finally ready to take on the full weight of the kingdom. He stood before her tall and eminent. His head held high, his jaw square, and his hands firm. His body was strong and limber; ready to take on all that he was given. His face was gentle and beautiful, ready for all his servants to praise him for his kindness and greatness. His eyes strong and passionate, he was ready to reign with justice and rule with pity.

His eyes . . . no matter how much he'd grown as a person, he'd never seemed to lose that boyish charm that made them twinkle in mischief when he was concocting something devious. They never lost that sparkle when he laughed- truly laughed, not what he did in front of those girls he made out with. They never lost that intensity when he looked at her . . . that intensity that made her feel small at times, and at other times seemed to give her strength. That intensity that carried her through some of the most trying times of her life . . . that intensity that made her care for him more than she wanted or cared to admit.

It seemed ages later when they'd both broken from their trance and realize they were both standing in an abandoned hallway staring at one another.

"I'm sorry." They said concurrently, their eyes clashing together as they seemed to silently agree on what it exactly meant.

Finally, as if the silence was too much for her, she began,

"I had no right to blow up at you like that. I don't even know why I did it- Hell, I don't know why I do it half the time. It's like you trigger something inside, and I always flip onto bitch-mode in your presence. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that or said what I said."

"It's not all you're fault," he continued, never taking his eyes from hers. "I shouldn't have begun the whole conversation at all; it was as if I was goading you or something. I know that you get upset quickly, and all I ever do is perpetuate it. I shouldn't do that. I guess when I'm around you I flip to jerk-mode."

"So, we both agree that we said some hurtful things and we apologize?" she asked him, her eyes still in his.

He took a moment to reply, his eyes entranced in hers. He felt as if his body was lifting from the ground, being sucked into her, her eyes acting as a wormhole and he knew he'd never escape their magnetism.

"Yeah."

"So," she said causally, "I guess you're on your way for a bath?"

"Uh, hunh," he mumbled, his hand running into his hair.

"Uh . . . well, the water's great," she looked away from him, "Try the vanilla scent, it's the ivory knob . . . very relaxing."

"I'll probably not try that," he grinned, "I don't think I'd like to smell like a girl."

"Yeah, that'd be a drag," she smiled, his smile infectious.

"So, uh how'd you do on that last Potions exam?"

"A, I mistakened ginger-hide for hide-ginger. One can kill a person, the other can produce a very potent Oblivious Potion, it's my bad." A/N: I so know they didn't use "My Bad" back then, but I don't care, I needed something to say and "my fault" seems pretty redundant right now.

"Yeah, I got perfect, A plus," he sighed, running his hands through his hair again.

"Uh, are you excited about the Halloween Feast?"

"I guess," he shrugged. "It's always great, but the Marauders haven't decided on what prank we wanted to play on the Slytherins yet, so there's not much to be excited about yet."

"Great, you're going to hex them again," she sighed.

"This is awkward isn't it?"

"What?"

"Us trying to be civil to one another. It's really weird, right?"

"Yeah," she said, her eyes turning back to his. "Was it always this way?"

"I don't know."

"Have we ever been civil to one another?"

"The first day at Hogwarts, on the Hogwarts Express, before I tripped you on your way up to the Sorting Hat."

She wrinkled her nose, thinking back to that date. Then she looked at him. "I never knew you then, I'd never seen you on the train."

"Well, that was the only time we were civil to one another, because the first time we'd spoken, I had tripped you and you vowed to hate me for life."

"Why did you trip me?" she asked, something she'd been wanting to know the answer to ever since he'd done it.

"That, I can't answer."

"Why not?" she frowned.

"Because I'm not exactly sure. I just did it. Maybe it was random, I don't know. All I know is that I tripped you and you've never liked me since."

"Well, have a nice bath . . . and watch out for Moaning Myrtle, I heard she's sweet on you and Remus says she's been looking for you."

"Thanks." He smiled softly.

"Well then I guess I'll see you later," she said, a pseudo smile gracing her features as she looked away.

"Bye Lily," he whispered as she moved away from him.

"Bye James," she called over her shoulder, continuing to blot her curls dry on her way to Gryffindor, this time humming Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me." A/N: I'm not sure if that song came out as early as late '77, I think it came out about a year or two later, but just for argument's sake, it came out in '77.

TBC. . .

A/N: hey, I'm sorry this took so long, but my internet was really sucky this month, so I haven't been able to get on. Well, you'll read this the first day I get online, and thanks for reading and the reviews, I definitely wouldn't mind more.

P. A/N: Yeah, I guess that whole crying thing was pretty sappy, even then it was a little stupid. I'm sorry though, I still can't think of a better way of going about it, so we're just going to act like it was really good. o o

W/ luv,

Yo-yo


	6. Love and Hate

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

Chapter 6- Love and Hate:

"So, where is Frank now?" she asked, gently running the brush through her long blonde hair.

"Well, he's doing some Head Boy stuff right now, but he's already spoken to Dumbledore and we've got this whole romantic night planned." Alice squealed, a permanent smile on her face.

Sunny sighed putting down her own brush.

"You are like the luckiest person ever!"

"What do you mean?" she asked, watching as Sunny pulled on a pair of tight, navy jeans.

"You've got the greatest boyfriend in the world," Lily replied, brushing Alice's blonde hair to the side of her head, tucked behind her ear.

Alice Popinopolis and Frank Longbottom had been together since forever. Not one person in Hogwarts didn't know how much the handsome Head Boy loved the round, kind-faced sixth year. They had known one another for their whole lives and it seemed their love had bounded them together forever. From the first day that Allie had entered the Great Hall, Frank was by her side. By Allie's fourth year and Frank's fifth, they'd both realized their attraction and had been together ever since.

"Yeah, he's great," Millie piped up, her voice laced with sarcasm.

They were all sitting in their dormitory, doing their own thing. Mildred lay out on her bed, one of Lily's Muggle books in her hands and her eye glasses cast aside as she perused it. Sunny was getting ready for a date. Lily was helping Alice get ready for her night with Frank and Alice was listening to the conversation and watching the blue and purple swirls as they whirled on the walls.

"How's that?" Alice asked, perplexed.

Frank had been her best friend, her first boyfriend, her first love, hell, her first everything. She guessed that all boyfriends were like Frank; sweet and attentive to her feelings.

"He's the sweetest guy ever," Sunny answered, a dreamy look on her face as she tried to explain. "He totally cares for you, and doesn't put up this elaborate façade around everyone else. He makes you laugh, and makes you cupcakes. He dances with you at all the school dances and always whispers sweet nothings in your ear no matter if anyone's looking or not. He so doesn't care about PDAs, and is always there when you need him."

"Yeah, everyone's so jealous of you two," Millie smiled, pushing a lock of ebony from her eyes.

Mildred Quiglesby reminded Lily of her childhood memories of witches. Her long, straight black hair fell down her back, past her waist. It was so long that she usually just sat on it. She had grey eyes that seemed to captivate anyone that looked at her. She was thin and pointy, reminding her a little of Petunia, except she was short and seemed to drown in everything that she wore. Although she looked harsh and unsympathetic, she was still one of the nicest (although sarcastic) people that Lily had ever met.

In contrast, Alice Popinopolis looked like your favorite aunt, the one that spoiled you with kindness and showered you with gifts. She was one of the most optimist people that Lily had ever met and she seemed to bring a ray of sunshine into their sixth year dorm. Alice was round and jolly. Her kind face seem to offset everyone, but drew them into her benevolence. Her light brown eyes weren't the most beautiful, but they were soft, gentle, and nurturing. Her long honey-blonde hair fell down to her elbows in gentle waves, framing her cherubic face.

"Has anyone seen my blue sweater?" Sunny asked, abandoning the brush and turning back to the other girls.

"Didn't you loan it to Fly last week?" Alice asked as Lily wound a purple elastic at Alice's nape, just below her left ear.

"Yes I did," Sunny realized, standing up and leaving the dorm.

When Sunny left, Lily got up from her trunk and lifted a box of hot rollers.

"I want what you've got," Lily sighed, as Alice touched her wand to each one of fingernails, testing colors to see which would look better with her outfit.

"What's that?"

"I want a guy that can love me completely, despite all my faults. I need a guy that can deal with my Obsessive Compulsive habits, and won't voice how contradictory I am when I leave behind a mess. I need a guy that can stimulate my mind, but still known how to romance me. I want a guy that can make me laugh, make me cry, make me hate him and love him at the same time. I want a guy who's protective of me, but will let me go if that's what I really need. I want a guy that wants me and needs me, and can't imagine life without me."

When she felt Lily let go of her hair, she maneuvered her torso, so she could see Lily.

"What about James Potter?" Mildred asked, looking up from her book.

"What about Potter?"

"Well," Alice began as Lily tapped the roller container with her wand and sat back down on her trunk. "Well, everyone knows he's crazy about you. Everyone knows he'd move heaven and earth just to be with you . . . everyone knows that someday you're going to break down that stone wall and let him in."

"Yeah, well he obviously doesn't like me enough to stop being the total asshole that everyone knows and loves," she rolled her eyes. "I mean, if he really liked me would he . . ."

She trailed off, placing the curlers in Alice's hair.

"So," Alice said turning towards Lily, gauging her reaction. "Do you admit that you fancy him?"

Too tired of this discussion to begin her usual tirade, she merely rolled her eyes and pivoted Alice's head forward.

"I don't like James Potter, I never could. He's everything I despise; in fact, I could even go as far as saying that I, Lillian Evans, hate James Potter."

Both Alice and Mildred gasped and whirled around to face their roommate. They knew that Lily was sensitive when the subject of James Potter was presented, but they could never have imagined her feelings for him to be so . . . callous.

"Surely you don't mean that?" Millie asked, her dark eyes probing.

"I know it sounds harsh, more than he deserves, but sadly, it applies." She replied nonchalantly, placing the last curler in Allie's hair and standing up.

"Lily, no one deserves to be hated. You can't just up and hate someone at the drop of the hat!" she said, a frown on her face.

"I've got my reasons," Lily sighed, lifting herself from her trunk and pulling a record from her collection.

* * *

"Checkmate," he grinned, his hazel eyes glittering as he looked back at Peter who looked at him indignantly.

"How in bloody hell did you do that?" Peter ejaculated, his eyes glaring at the chessboard.

"That, my man, is my secret!" James clapped Peter on the shoulder and took a seat on the davenport next to sixth year Monica Torres.

No matter how dense Peter Pettigrew could sometimes be, he was still a pretty smart man. In fact, he was one of the best Wizarding Chess players in the whole school. He had a great mind for carefully calculated tact. He knew good timing and how to abort sticky situations. In fact, one of the reasons why he was a Marauder wasn't because he shared a dormitory with them, but because he could help them schedule and carry out some of the most intricate schemes, without a blink of the eye or the flick of a wrist.

"Hi James," Monica smiled, her voice laced with insinuation.

"Hey Monica," he smirked, taking her in as he did with all the other girls; his hazel eyes leering.

"So," she whispered softly, "What are you doing tonight?"

"I don't know," he grinned, cocking a brow, "What do you suggest?"

Before she could actually respond to his innuendo laced comment, she'd attacked him with her lips, pressing herself against him.

"Slut," Sunny thought, seeing the display as she exited the girls' dormitory. "Hey Fly, did you borrow my blue sweater?"

"Yeah," Fly answered absently, her eyes trained on the tiny broomsticks levitating above a miniature Quidditch field. She was trying to teach the two new recruits, third years Jacob Taylor and Ashley Tate plays for the next day's practice (the rain was so hard that night that they had to cancel practice). The two boys seemed to be totally engrossed in her tutelage, but in fact, both their eyes were glazed over.

"Can I have it back?" Sunny groaned, perturbed by Fly's apathetic attitude.

"I don't know," Fly replied, not looking away from the display. "Millie has it now."

"Couldn't you have at least told me?" Sunny asked, rolling her eyes. "I need the sweater; I've got a date tonight!"

All four Marauders looked up from their respective seats in the common room. Padfoot and Prongs had both been making out on separate couches with separate girls. Wormtail had been in the corner of the common room staring determinedly at a chessboard (obviously he'd lost a game). And Moony had been in another corner, practicing a potion.

"With who?" Sirius asked, disregarding his "date" and walked towards her.

Fly looked up for a moment, her eyes following him as he placed an arm around Sunny's shoulders and gave her a friendly squeeze. Her eyes returned to the board when Sunny said, "Jeffrey Diggory."

"Amos's brother?" Sirius frowned, obviously voicing his distaste of the Diggory clan.

"Yes," she sighed pushing back the stubborn curl, mentally reminding herself to cut it when she got the chance.

"When did this happen?" Peter asked, watching her as she averted her eyes from the group and moved out of Sirius's arms.

"Last night," she sighed, fixing the white blouse she was wearing.

"Why were you with Diggory last night?" James asked, carefully pushing Monica aside as he looked up at her.

Remus just stared; his hand paused in mid-motion, dripping far more drops of Rewstalk tears into his Aging potion than was good.

"Is that any of your business?" Sunny snapped, whirling on her heel and retreating into the girls' dormitory door.

"What flew up her ass?" Sirius asked, his brows knit.

"You guys interfering with her personal life," Fly muttered, not looking up at him.

"Well, she should know better than to associate with the scum of the earth."

"Well, she associates with you dilholes," she countered, "So you'd guess she was actually taking a step up."

"That was uncalled for," Sirius frowned, looking at the apathetic Delia. "Are you guys on your period or something?"

Delia jumped from her seat and glared at Sirius. He was taken aback for a second by the brown flames flickering in her eyes, singeing him.

Although Sirius stood at a respectable six feet three inches, he could still be taken down by Delia's penetrating stare.

Before he could force out some kind of makeshift apology, she bit into him, tearing him down to size.

"Dee, I just-"

"Why is it that whenever a girl goes against the man's opinions she's suddenly 'on her period'! And why in the hell would that be your first assumption as to why she doesn't think the same damn thing about every male that you know? First of all, I'm pretty sure you know nothing about a period, except that you don't get to have sex then. And secondly, if you ever throw that bullshit idea back at us again," moving so that they were just barely touching, she poked him in the chest, emphasizing her point. "I will personally prove that stereotype TRUE!"

With a final huff of annoyance, she followed Sunny and disappeared behind the dormitory door.

"Shit," James groaned, pushing his hair from his forehead. "She was really pissed! Practice is going to be a suicide mission tomorrow, I'll bet you ten Galleons."

No one laughed as they all stared at the door she'd entered, the entire room silent.

* * *

"What?" Some girl hissed.

James spotted the small group of girls that had congregated at a nearby table, heads together as they gossiped. He was looking for Monica to ask her to dance with him; Lily had decided not to forego the Halloween party and instead stayed up in the dorms by herself.

Noticing Monica's flaxen curls, he made his way towards the table, hoping to come out with as little confrontation as possible.

"Yeah, she was helping Allie get ready for her date with Longbottom and she just said it, boy were we shocked," Millie said, in a voice far louder than a whisper.

"Lillian Evans HATES James Potter?" Another voice asked unbelievably.

Now he stopped.

"I never knew she was capable of it," another voice said.

"Hell, I didn't think anyone was capable of hating James Potter," Monica whispered. "He's so hot! There's got to be something wrong with her to not like him."

"Well, she said she's got her reasons," Millie suggested. "It probably has something to do with that first day."

"Yeah, what he did was heinous." Monica frowned.

"But he was a kid, so I guess he was justified in his stupidity."

"I don't know why he's so hung up over her anyway, she's not even pretty!"

"Monica, get off it," Millie groaned. "You're not the hottest Witch to hit Hogwarts since pumpkin juice."

"Hey-"

But before James could listen to any more of their "riveting" conversation, he'd whipped around and dashed for the dormitories, determined to speak to Lily.

She hated him . . .

Hate was a very strong word.

Sure he knew that she despised him . . . that she was annoyed by him . . . that she'd disliked everything about him- but hate . . . that was something he wasn't prepared for . . . that was something he never wanted to confront.

He was just about to turn into Gryffindor tower when he heard an ominous snicker coming from one of the corners in the shadows.

Whipping around at the sound, the figure stepped forward; the whites of its eyes were the only feature visible. Then,

"That was a great stunt you pulled in there," it sneered, his black eyes glittering as he came forward.

James knew that voice. It was the same voice that taunted him on his first day at Hogwarts. It was the same voice that tortured him during his youth. It was the same voice that whispered curses at him in between classes and whenever he "felt like it." It was the same voice that called Lily a "Mudblood" . . . it was the voice of his arch-nemesis:

Severus Snape.

"What do you want, Snivellus," James snickered, instinctively going for his wand.

"Well, I just want to thank you for a reason for me to do something that I've wanted for a very long time." He leered, his voice gilded.

"And what's that, praise me for my obvious superiority to you?" James smirked.

Both boys whisked out their wands quickly, never taking their eyes from the other. They were like two cats, circling one another, sizing each other up.

"What, you don't seem so tough without your blithering entourage standing beside you. Where's that dimwit, Black?"

"Probably making out with one of the myriad of girls that won't give you the time of day," James smiled. "Oh, do you know what that means? It means kissing . . . oh," he faked a frown, "you may not know that either, considering your own mother wouldn't come near you with a twelve foot pole."

"Oh, I know what snogging is," Severus chuckled darkly. "It's that thing that you keep trying to get Evans to do . . . if only she was as stupid as your usual conquests, then you wouldn't have to worry which Mudblood to shag tonight."

"Don't you ever say that name again," James roared. "You have no right to ever utter her name on that vile tongue of yours!"

Suddenly Severus muttered an incantation, and with the crack of a whip, James had found himself hovering ten feet above the lake with the giant squid. Before he could think to hold his breath, he crashed into the water's surface. The void swallowing him whole and the pressure making him sink to the bottom.

He gulped in a mouthful of the inky water, impenetrable by the far away lights of the castle. Struggling the fluid darkness, he tried to remember what his father had tried to teach him. It seemed Snape had uncovered both his weaknesses: Lily and swimming.

It was his own fault. If he hadn't transformed the Slytherins into heavy footed Neanderthals, he wouldn't have been in this situation.

Pushing against the darkness, he could feel his lungs burn for breath and his head grow heavy in drowsiness. He'd never been a strong swimmer, and accompanied by the fact that he couldn't see his own hand, dread flooded his veins like ice water, cooling the warmth surrounding him.

It felt as if he floated for years, his body thrashing wildly against the unknown until finally he gave up . . . his strength spent and his mind gone. Finally, his eyes closed and he gave in to the sleep that had goaded him for some time.

Then suddenly,

"James," a voice whispered amidst the darkness.

He could feel something compressing his chest, then releasing, in a feeble attempt at CPR. Then the person to whom the voice belonged pushed back his head and attempted to blow into his mouth. But the mouth-to-mouth ended abruptly with a sudden cry,

"I so don't know how to do this," the voice trembled, panic laced the voice.

He couldn't recognize the voice, but he tried to speak back, he tried to open his eyes.

Suddenly, he could feel something gurgling in his esophagus and he leaned over and expelled the water from his lungs.

"Eww. . ." the voice cried, her girlishness almost hilarious if the situation weren't so dire.

But neither his mouth, nor his eyes seemed to be working because nothing came out . . . nothing seemed to work.

"Hey James," the voice called again, "you're going to have to get up."

He didn't protest as he felt a pair of arms run under his back and pull him upward by the armpits. He soon felt himself being dragged over the grass to an undisclosed location. Then suddenly the person stopped, causing him to accidentally fall back.

"Oh, sorry . . ." the voice whispered. "Damn, I'm a witch," the voice said to herself, then, "_Locomotor_ James."

He felt himself being lifted into the air, as if lying on an invisible stretcher, moving swiftly through the cool night's air.

* * *

"Hey Jamsie, how ya' doin'?" Sirius asked, throwing open the curtain of his four poster.

"How did I get here?" he asked, his head heavy as he tried to lift his head, making him heavy as he fell back to the bed.

"After Snape threw you in the lake, we took care of him and Sunny went and found you. Lily came in a little later and helped . . . we didn't want to go to Madame Pomphrey, she'd ask too many questions."

"Lily helped?" he groaned, their voices reverberating in his head painfully.

"Yeah, she was the only one left in the dorms, so when Sunny called for help, she was here. She looked really scared. She said she'd be back in an hour."

"She doesn't need to-"

"Yeah she does," Peter scoffed. "She's the only person who knows what to do when you get hurt. Granted she does it the Muggle way, but it works."

"Tell her not to come back . . ." James tried, attempting to move his head again, but the dull pain throbbed, making him lie back down.

"Just lay back," Sirius instructed the look of pain in his eyes evident.

An hour later, Lily knocked timidly on the door, her face red with embarrassment.

"Hey," Sirius whispered, opening the door for her to enter.

It wasn't he first time that she'd ever been in the boys' dormitory, but every time it felt as if an offense. Every time that she entered, it felt taboo . . . as if she were doing something wrong and should be reprimanded.

"Thanks," she replied in the same tone, meekly entering the chamber.

She walked over to his four poster, whose curtains were drawn all around him as his breath seemed to cut through the air surrounding him.

"How's he been?"

"In and out," he answered, noting the look of pure apprehension.

"C'meer." He muttered, coming towards her.

Walking into his arms, she let him envelop her with his warmth, soothing her tense muscles.

She didn't cry, she wouldn't let herself. But she couldn't hide the worry from her face. She couldn't conceal from her features the fact that she actually cared. She couldn't suppress the pain emitting from her heart as she'd watched him lay in his four poster; lifeless.

"Hey," he whispered against her hair, "he's gonna' be alright. He's fine."

"Yeah, I know," she sighed, pressing her head to his shoulder, "I know . . . I just get so . . . girly, I can't help it. It's in my genetic make-up."

"Hey, don't worry."

"I can't help it," she groaned. "For some reason all of you guys are in my heart, even that asshole, and whenever there's something wrong, I can't help but worry. I hate you all."

"We love you too," he smiled, placing a kiss to her forehead before stepping away. "I'll leave you two alone."

"Yeah," she said ruffling her curls back.

"He'll be ok," he smiled encouragingly before he pressed another kiss to her cheek and turned to leave.

"Oh, and tell Fly that he'll be ready for practice by next week."

"He'd better be," he smirked, opening the door. "That's our first game against Ravenclaw, and they've been pretty good for the last couple of years."

Closing the door behind him, she approached the curtain with caution.

Drawing the curtain vigilantly she watched as he lay there, calm- faced and reverent. He looked like she would have imagined him as a little boy: adorable and impish.

"Lily," he breathed through the depths of sleep.

"Hey," she whispered, sitting on the side of his bed, removing the wet towel from his forehead.

"What," he started, lifting himself from the bed, then groaning as he lay back down.

"Hey, how ya' feel?" she asked, placing her hand on his pale forehead, feeling for fever.

"Lily?" he asked, turning his head to see her.

"Right here," she smiled conjuring a new cool towel and placing it across his forehead.

"You hate me."

"What?" she asked, looking down at him.

"You hate me. Why?"

She didn't say anything as she stood up, "Are you cold?"

"I came here looking for you, that's when I met up with Snape. I heard them talking . . . they said you hated me. They were saying that you really hated me." He stated.

"I-"

"Lily, why do you hate me? Why is it that you can never seem to give me a chance? Why am I the only one you never let go?"

She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes and hurt consuming her features. Finally, she took a seat beside him and replied.

"Do you remember our first day in Hogwarts? Do you remember what you did to me in the Great Hall?"

"Yeah," he frowned, remembering how he'd tripped her in front of the whole school. "But I've apologized for that. I though you forgave me?"

"I've tried," she whispered, "but I can't."

"You're really upset with me over something that happened six years ago?" he groaned, exasperation lacing his deep voice.

"You don't know what it's like!" she rationalized, a tear escaping its barrier.

"Lily, it was six years-"

"You grew up in this world; you knew what it was like. I was only eleven. I didn't even understand- hell, I still don't understand! I was so scared . . ."

"Everyone was scared. It was their first day too-!"

"Imagine growing up in a world where wizards and witches only existed in a fantasy world. Imagine a place where you sit in church for three hours every Sunday praying to some intangible being that you believed created the world in seven days and gave you the choice between knowledge and ignorance. Imagine growing up and being told that witchcraft and wizardry is all wrong and those who did were going to live in eternal damnation after their death. Imagine learning that the entire world that they told you was wrong was the one that you were destined to live in.

"Imagine a world where people physically picked up after themselves, survived on their own ingenuity, learned from their mistakes, and built a society based on working hard to build a better tomorrow. Imagine a world where chickens didn't breathe fire, dragons were myths, where lycanthropes were 'created' to manipulate little children. Imagine a world where a little girl couldn't even begin to believe that her destiny lay in the world of magic, even after she walked through walls, saw buildings that others didn't, shopped in stores that sold broomsticks and dragon's hide, and walked into a castle.

"I had no idea until that summer that this world even existed. Everything about this world that I knew came from fairytales, myths, and fables. I could barely believe it was real. Owl Posts, Wizarding Banks, Ministry of Magic, and broomsticks- I was so afraid.

"And here I was: eleven without a friend in the world or a familiar face. Sure my parents were ecstatic when I got accepted, and Petunia instantly grew repulsed by me, but no one in my family had ever been here, no one knew what it was going to be like.

"I felt abandoned, stupid, and even ashamed to be here. I met Sunny and Fly, and they took a liking to me, but I still didn't know them. And they were still born in this world, they knew the rules, they knew what to expect, what was expected of them and how to succeed. I didn't. I couldn't even hold my wand right the day I went to pick it out.

"And then there I was, standing in this huge- massive- hall with seven hundred eyes on me and I felt small. I felt insignificant. I was afraid, I didn't think I belonged. I kept imagining the Sorting Hat would start telling everyone that there was a mistake, that I wasn't a witch, and that I didn't belong. That they were looking for some other Lillian Evans and they got the wrong girl. I kept thinking that everyone was wondering what I was doing there, that the Hat would humiliate me in front of the whole school and tell me to get the hell out! I even though I would be killed in order to protect the Secret.

"And then that damn Hat called my name. I remember it screeching Evans, and I started." She said, another tear eroding a river down her cheek. "And I lifted my head. I began walking up to the stool, not even understanding how my legs carried me seeing how I was shaking; scared out of my mind. I was determined not to look scared. I was determined to make everyone think I belonged for as long as I could. I was determined to not let my paranoia get the best of me- And then suddenly, you stuck out your foot and I crashed to the ground, and an anvil of laughter crashed down on me.

"I was shaking when I got up Potter, I was so- God, it wasn't even fright that coursed through my veins anymore! And then I turned to you and you had that stupid smirk on your face, and all I wanted to do was kill you. And if I wasn't so little, I probably would have tried."

"Lily-," he began, but she cut him off.

"I cried for three weeks after that . . . you humiliated me in front of the whole school, and didn't even feel remorse. I sent daily owls home asking to be sent back. I even had a few conferences with McGonagall and Dumbledore expressing my duress and trying to figure out some sort of resolution.

"In the end, we decided on a trial basis of a year and I agreed." She looked up into his eyes, "I stuck it out and in the end I stayed. I may not have hated you, but I couldn't forgive you . . . I still can't."

Wiping the tears away furiously with the sleeve of her shirt, she left his beside and disappeared behind the door.

TBC . . .

A/N: I know this had taken a long time to get this up, but I've been doing some stuff and I started school today, and found out that I'm going to have a sucky senior year. Well, I'm ready to go. Also, someone, I think his/her name is Hoyin, well, they said that Moaning Myrtle couldn't be in Hogwarts during Lily and Potter's times there, but upon research, I figured she could.

According to book two, Moaning Myrtle died in 1942, fifty years before (according to Nearly Headless Nick's Death day Party, the year was 1992). After Myrtle died she spent some time haunting Olive Hornby until the Ministry made her stop and go back to Hogwarts. So, unless the Ministry had taken 35 years to take action on Myrtle, then she would have been there during 1977. also, in book two it is said that Lupin is fairly young, although he had grey hair, so that's why I guessed he'd be about forty by the fifth book, and seeing as they lived a long time, grey shouldn't be for a good couple of decades later.

Book II: p. 231( par. 4); p. 299 Book IV: p. 465 (par. 1&3 from the bottom)

Well, R&R.

W/ luv, Yo-yo


	7. Missing

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

A/N: Hey, thanks for all the reviews and I'm really sorry I took so long. My senior year is really sucky and college applications are a bitch! I've decided I'm dropping out of skool and not going to college. I'm not touching another application that needs me to write my name. They're going to enroll me with the wrong name anyway! Well good luck you guys.

And I forget your name, but the person that requested the All American Reject's lead singer, I totally agree! My friend got his guitar pick Warped Tour and I'm so jealous. We call him "Pretty Eyez," I don't even know his real name (don't re-send it to me b/c just generally I'm horrible with names. My own brother has to tell me which bands I like b/c I always forget their names and who sang what song)! "Pretty Eyez" is on my husband list. B/c of hot guys like him, I totally believe in polygamy!

Chapter 7- Missing:

She swam further and further from the depths of slumber and awakened beneath the warm embrace of her hand-woven comforter. A deep sigh emitted from her lips as she lay transfixed beneath the warm folds, listening to the meticulous sounds of her four roommates' breathing.

Last night had been horrible.

After the fight with James she'd returned to the highest Astronomy tower and watched dawn's little fingers begin to crawl over the horizon. When she finally decided there was no way she could sneak back into her room without detection from Filch and his new kitten deemed Mrs. Norris, she stealthily made her way towards the Gryffindor tower, praising Merlin that the Fat Lady was still there.

She didn't cry.

She'd made a promise to herself a long time ago that James Potter wasn't worth her tears. He'd been a jerk far too long for her to dwell on it, and if she let it get to her it'd only cause more strife.

She just sat there, numb. She'd finally told him . . . finally let him know what it felt like to be her at that moment. He finally knew what it was to be a Muggle thrown into the world of magic, the world that they knew nothing about. She'd finally expressed to him what he made her feel . . . what she had concealed inside of her for six years.

Beneath the canopy of her four-poster, she felt protected by the thick, cream-colored tapestry. It was warm- safe- like a mother's womb, sleep slowly ebbing at her, making her guttural yawn rip through the still air. Because of its depth, light couldn't filter in, but it still seemed to illuminate the space around her as if she were lying on a ball of cotton with golden ribbon wrapping around her.

Pressing her face to the side of her pillow, she let a tear escape its barrier. She wouldn't cry; she would just wet her eyes a little . . . to keep them moist.

She had to get up. Sure, she wasn't a fan of morning, but she couldn't sit there anymore. She couldn't let the hurt eat at her anymore, she couldn't focus on the pain anymore- she needed to get away.

Pushing aside the thick coverings, she was slapped by the cool air, whooshing into the four-poster, and wrapping its frigid, bony fingers around her.

"Shit," she groaned, shivering involuntarily, her eyes snapping to the opened window beside Sunny's bed.

Sighing in resolve, she crawled from beneath the covers, pulling a grey sweatshirt over her tank.

Placing her feet on the stone floor, she gasped in shock and immediately retracted them. Pulling her knees to her chin, she wrapped her arms around her shins and her eyes swiveled towards the fireplace. It seemed the wind had blown out the fire, causing the dormitory's floor to literally freeze.

She lifted her hands to her hair slowly, pushing back the tangled, orange curls. Her clear green eyes searched the floor for her fuzzy blue slippers with the yellow duck on the toes.

She spotted them.

They were lying on the floor beside Sunny's bed; the girl who'd left the bloody window open.

She looked for something else to put on her feet, but soon realized that everything required her to step from the bed onto the painfully cold floor. Onto the floor so cold that it felt as if someone was stabbing needles through her feet.

"Sunny . . . Sunny . . ." she called.

She paused for a moment, only to be answered by a still silence.

"Sunny . . . Sunny . . ." she called again, this time a muted ruffling sound answering her calls of distress.

"Sunny!"

"What?" she cried, stumbling out of bed.

"Oh, Shit!" Sunny groaned, jumping back onto her mattress.

She looked horrible. Her short, usually stylishly cut hair was twisted and tangled to form impossible bed-head. Her eyes were wet and glazed- she hadn't wiped away the sleep- and her brown skin was ashy.

"Can you bring me my slippers?" she asked with the most innocent voice she could procure.

"You want your damn slippers?" Sunny asked glaring at her.

"Yesh pleash," she lisped, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"You can have your damn slippers!" Sunny reached down and grabbed the slippers, throwing them at Lily, aiming for her head.

Lily ducked and caught them easily, her years of softball preparing her for that one day. She was softly chuckling by the time she had slipped them on her feet.

"Thanks." She grinned.

"Oh, go to hell!" Sunny mumbled, pulling her curtains back to shield her from the bitter cold.

Placing her slippered feet on the floor and she stretched.

She felt something fall on her head.

Letting her fingers graze over her curls in a blind search, she figured it was nothing. Shrugging, she stood up and suddenly what felt like a fifty gallon bucket of water gushed down on her, drenching her entire frame.

Giggles erupted from the "sleeping" girls, and she could see their inquisitive heads poking out of their curtains.

"Fuck!" she screeched, "That was cold water! Who the hell did this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sunny giggled, "I needed you to hand me a towel!"

With a mischievous glint in her eyes, the sound of four girls' screams soon pierced throughout Gryffindor tower.

* * *

Her head lay heavily on the scrubbed wooden table as she clenched her eyes shut, determined to ignore the mind numbing pain of the migraine that had revealed itself a few moments before she'd awakened.

The migraine, coupled with the blinding glint of the diamond in the sunlight didn't help to reduce the pounding of her brain against her skull painfully.

Ever since the night of Sunny and Alice's respective dates, she'd been feeling herself fall into a bout of depression. When Allie had returned with a large grin on her pretty face and showed them the ring catching light on her left hand, everyone gasped and she finally realized that was something she was never going to have.

She was never going to have a Frank Longbottom. She was never going to have someone that great, that special, that in-love with her.

Once, she thought she did. But she was young, stupid. She didn't understand that love wasn't as easy as a cute boy who also likes you. And when she finally did, she didn't like the outcome.

As usual, a parliament of owls flew into the Grand Hall, showering the students with letters and parcels. And as usual, Noctem, Lily's ebony owl came swooping in with a letter from her parents and another letter, which she guessed was from Tuny.

"Thanks Noctem," she smiled, stroking the ugly owl atop its head.

Unfurling the letter from her parents, she scanned the letter and a small smile tickled her lips. It was the usual: news on Petunia, Da's weekly advice, the next parcel of chocolate is on its way, news about Douggie and Mum's rambling about not eating too much chocolate and brushing her teeth after every meal (referring to Lily's second and third years when she had to wear those ugly, metal braces and was constantly being chided by the orthodontist about the stuck peanuts and caramel).

Unfolding the next letter, she smiled. Petunia had sprayed her favorite perfume onto the stationary with little Petunia's dancing around the elegantly scripted name. Letting the soft scent of White Lace calm her senses, she perused Tuny's letter, which, like her parents, contained the usual. She broke up with Peter Mollohan and was currently with Adam Johnson. She rambled on about the impossible goals her teachers were setting for her, how the girls at her school were such sluts, how she couldn't wait to leave the house and how much she wished Lily was beside her so she could yell at her to her face.

Placing both letters in her bag, she grabbed a couple of strips of bacon and left the Grand Hall, just as the Marauders decided to grace the gargantuan chamber.

* * *

"Faster, faster!" she bellowed, rage booming from her voice.

He groaned, urging the solid wooden apparatus to move faster, his head already banging from her shouts.

"Potter, I don't even want to see you!" she shouted. "You should be a blur to me and everyone in the crowd. They should be thinking you're the Snitch by how fast you go!"

Picking up speed, James ground his teeth together and shifted his broom. Since the incident with Fly and Sirius, she'd been like a hemorrhoid on his ass. She'd driven them farther than she'd ever done, and wouldn't let anyone fail her. Practice last night had persisted for five hours because the rookies, Ashley and Jacob, hadn't seemed to grasp the freefalling concept. So she kept the entire team until they'd succeeded.

The next morning was their first game against Ravenclaw, and he was pretty sure he'd fall off his broom from exhaustion before the first five minutes were up.

"Potter!"

"My broom's not fast enough!" he finally snapped. "I'm sorry if I can't be a blur, but my broom isn't fast enough!"

"Well then get another broom," she retorted lamely, slightly taken aback by his seething tone.

"I'm sorry but the Astro200 IS the fastest broom. I'm so sorry that they haven't created a broom fast enough for your liking." He shouted sarcastically.

She'd been shouting for days now, he was surprised her voice hadn't failed her yet.

Groaning, he thought back to the entire week. It had been hell. Lily and Fly had stopped talking to both he and Sirius. Sunny had stopped talking to all four of the Marauders, and Remus had stopped talking to Sunny.

They didn't even sit beside one another anymore. They now sat at opposite ends of the table during their meals.

Through their classes together, the girls sat on one side of the classroom and the boys on the other. Even the limited conversion with Remus and Peter hadn't helped in bringing them any closer together.

Potter sighed to himself. Over the past couple of years he'd grown accustomed to having the girls around. During their first year the two groups hardly mingled, but after Lily had learned that Remus was a werewolf, the two groups sort of merged. Soon they were almost inseparable. They helped each other with schoolwork. The girls were always an unlimited resource of good advice, no matter how devious or serious. In some cases, the girls were better allies than the Marauders themselves. They were always great to hang out with, in some ways keeping the Marauders out of serious trouble and making sure they didn't become too enthralled with their pranks.

He missed them criticizing the way that he and Sirius treated girls. He missed the way that they constantly argued over trivial things and how close they became when their friendship was tried. He missed the way Lily would argue with him over simple subjects. He missed the way Sunny would pout just to get her way. He even missed the way Fly would yell at them on the Quidditch pitch, urging them to do better but secretly pleased by his excellence.

A high pitched whistled screamed through his reverie and brought him down to earth (literally).

As soon as his feet crashed to the floor, he hurtled to the locker room, completely bypassing the rest of the team and ignoring Fly's post- practice wrap-up.

The first drop of scalding water licked his naked back and immediately relaxed him. He let all the stress from the day drain from his over-worked limbs and swirl down the drain.

Of course none of the guys ever voiced their upheaval over the entire situation, but he could sense- feel- the awkwardness. It was on his skin, tickling the fine hairs on the back of his neck, pinching at his arms. Every time the guys suggested a new scheme, silence would follow, each one recalling a different memory of the girls reprimanding them and warning them of unseen dangers.

Letting the warm water drench over his head, he thought of the night when he and the Marauders had first become Anamagi. He remembered the way Lily sat on the ground before them, blanket wrapped around her legs, reams of parchment in her hand and a mug of warm chocolate to her lips. Her wand lay on her lap, ready for whatever calamity that would inevitably ensue. She had spent several nights with them before, perfecting their pronunciation of the spell; she'd helped concoct the potion; arrange the ceremony and was now meticulously overseeing the entire transformation.

He remembered the trepidation in her eyes that she thought he couldn't see. He remembered the way she nervously downed ten cups of chocolate in less than half an hour. He also remembered the way her face brightened with a mixture of amazement, triumphal and knowing as they all stood before her donned in pelt and snouts. He remembered the way she'd affectionately placed a kiss to each of them- even Peter the rat- and snuggled into their warm coats. He remembered the tears in her eyes and the sadness that she didn't get to experience this new world with her friends.

Extinguishing the taps, he grabbed a towel and began to dry off. He knew he'd be hearing about his abrupt exit for hours once he left, but he knew her words were empty . . . so was his heart.

When he was eleven, he didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know she'd belonged to a Muggle home. He didn't know that her beautiful emerald eyes and her flaming red hair would be the ones that would be haunting his dreams for years to come. He didn't know that the look of contempt on her face would be the one that she'd eventually regard him with. He didn't know that someday he wanted to be the only one that wiped that look from her face. He didn't know that someday she would be the one that he fell in love with, and it would be that one stupid joke that would ensure their separation.

* * *

"Lily!"

" . . . Steven Tyler . . ." she moaned.

He stood before her, his tall, lanky body tempting her to reach out a hand and gently caress the firm contours of his chest. She wanted to press her body close to his and feel his arms wrap around her, holding her in an intimate embrace, wrapping her in security and warmth. She wanted to press her lips to his, brushing a prayer across his lips as he pulled her into a world of sheer and utter bliss.

"Lily!" the voice called again, faintly, but she just couldn't take her eyes from Tyler's kissable lips.

"LILY!" a myriad of voices called, waking her from her favorite dream.

"What?" she groaned quite rumpled, lifting her head from the pillow.

"Your damn mirror!" Fly called through her canopy, "Answer it!"

Not even bothering to open her eyes, she reached over to her nightstand and blindly felt around for the smooth, cool piece of gold and silver.

As soon a she flipped it open, James' voice was already whispering urgently,

"Lily, get downstairs, now!"

"Ugh," she groaned stumbling out of bed and out of the girls' dormitory.

In moments she was standing directly in front of James Potter's levitating head- the rest of him covered in his invisibility cloak- whose mouth currently hung open, shocked by her choice of bedtime dress.

"What?" she groaned shoved her red curls from her forehead, shivering in the cold.

"You sleep in that?" he asked, his eyes traveling her body almost obscenely.

"What are yo-" she began, but grew red in embarrassment.

She was wearing only a wife beater and boys' knickers which had little pictures of Spiderman tonight.

"Those are boys' knickers!"

"What in the hell do you want?" she asked, remembering to be callous.

"We need you-" he began, but she cut him off.

"Why are you asking me, go ask someone else!" she said turning her back to him, ready to get back to sleep and dream of Aerosmith and Steven Tyler.

"Lily, tonight's a full moon, and Remus really needs you."

"What happened?" she gasped, whirling around.

"I'll tell you on the way," he answered, glancing at her dress again. "I think you should grab a jacket or something."

Rolling her eyes she waved her wand and mumbled, "_Accio_ jacket and sweatpants."

Immediately tugging on the items she rushed after James, knowing they wouldn't have called on her unless absolutely necessary.

TBC . . .

P. A/N: I don't like Steven Tyler, I just want you to know, but I couldn't think up a very sexy guy from the seventies, and if I asked one of my friends, they'd most likely say John Lennon, and then I'd have to shoot myself because he looks like Jesus and that's just weird.

And sorry for taking so long to write, but hey, don't worry, I wrote TWO chapters! Ok, only one really long one that I broke up into two. It wouldn't have taken so long if my friend (The one that went to Warped Tour and got the pick from my husband, "Pretty Eyez") hadn't broken up with her boyfriend (I hate him for getting her the tix), b/c I'm not supposed to talk to him anymore, so I couldn't find a song from him (he's in a band).

Read the next chapter and R&R please!

w/ luv, Yo-yo


	8. Full Moon

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C Chappie #1.

A/N: Here's the next part, so R&R Please, and "Pretty Eyez" is really Hot!

Chapter 8- Full Moon:

When they'd first snuck down to the Shrieking Shack at twilight it hadn't seemed any different than any other night the Marauders snuck from the grand castle, past the Whomping Willow and through the long passageway towards the Shrieking Shack.

It wasn't until half an hour after Moony had transformed when things began getting scary.

That was when they finally entered the Shrieking Shack after him, the still air being pierced by his excruciating cries. They rushed to the door of the room where he usually changed, their hearts racing as they imaged every possible situation that could cause him to screech so, their hearts heavy with fear. Then suddenly . . .

Everything was quiet.

There were no more screams. No more sounds of scratching. No more heavy breaths, except the ones escaping their own lips. No more of anything. Instead, they realized that they feared the silence a lot more than the racket.

As if inspired by a crackle of lightening, all three Marauders burst into action, and began trying to break down the magically shut door. With the combined force of their three strong shoulders, they finally managed to rip it from its lock and break the spell.

The castle was still, frozen cold as if omitting them entrance thorough the deserted halls. The cold air pressed down on her chest, restricting her breathing so her breaths came out short and labored.

The only sound came from their muffled footsteps and a weary wind echoing from remote parts of the castle.

"Potter!" Lily hissed, following his silhouette as he flew down the stairs and through passages she'd never known existed (pretty sure that very little knew they existed also). He ducked underneath tapestries, jumped onto invisible staircases and through hidden doors. She tried to remember each turn, each secret passageway, each animated object and each curve, but soon found her brain jumbled with information that in seconds became trivial.

"Keep up Evans!" Potter groaned, taking a hold of her hand and pulling her through a large tapestry.

"Where are you taking me?"

And suddenly, they were outside the castle.

"How'd you do that?" she gasped, facing the Grand Entrance, the only entryway she'd known.

"Remus is in trouble." He managed, dashing for the Whomping Willow, her hand still in his.

"What happened?" she gasped as they scurried beneath the frozen limbs of the beautiful tree and entered the long passageway that inevitably led into the Shrieking Shack where the boys usually spent the nights of the full moon.

"I don't know, he just freaked out." He explained, progressing down the impenetrable darkness.

"What do you mean 'freaked out'?" she said, slowly narrowing her eyes in the darkness.

"I don't know what exactly happened, but one moment he's all fine and dandy, and the next he's banging into the door as if being thrown into it by some spirit. It was sickening, the thud we heard and the noises he made. He was howling, like a sick animal, singing a song of their demise.

"I didn't know who else to call. Madame Pomphrey doesn't know about us and neither does Dumbledore. And we're not supposed to know about the lycanthropy either. Plus, you're good at this stuff. You plan on being a healer, right? We need your help."

She stopped abruptly, letting her hand fall from his and absorbed the information. In a moment she was yelling:

"No way! There is no way in bloody hell I can do this! I don't even know where to start! I can't even tell the difference between Millsap and Mayhem!"

"Millsap is a powerful sedative and Mayhem is short for Mischievous Mayhem which is added to potions to make someone either mischievous or more outgoing. And you can't chicken out, Lil. Remus is your friend- one of your best- and he really needs you."

"I don't-"

"Sure you do," she said taking her hand again and tugging her forward, "You've done it a million times. Just see him."

Sighing, she hurried into the entrance, pulling on her jacket.

When they entered the Shrieking Shack, they found Sirius and Peter in human form, sitting on the large, overstuffed couch in the main room. Both of their eyes were trained on the door to Remus's transformation room, completely ignoring their surroundings.

"What happened?" James asked, disrupting the stillness, causing the boys to start.

"Nothing," Pete whispered, his eyes skittered over to the closed door that was ominously silent.

"Its scary man," Sirius breathed, fear clouding his beautiful eyes. "He hasn't moved for like 15 minutes."

"C'mon," James said bravely, mentally building courage. "_Alohomora_," he breathed, and the door clicked open.

Their eyes fell on the solitary figure lying on the floor, the frown lines on their foreheads deepened. Before anyone could say anything, Lily broke from James's steel grip and flung her self beside Remus on the floor.

"Remus, wake up!" she cried, tears tumbling down her cheeks as she leaned over him, gently caressing his beautiful face.

He was curled into a tight ball, like yarn, his limbs enfolded one another, as if his body never ended, just flowing into the next extremity. His skin was almost a transparent white with angry scratches, bites and gashes glowing brilliant red all over his skin. His beautiful features were contorted into the most painful expression she'd ever seen, his lips molded into a frown so deep that it seemed etched in his countenance. He reminded her of a newborn, the way he curled in the fetal position, his body free from adornment and his -

"Can't you get him some clothes?" she barked, her cheeks burning.

She could hear scuttling behind her as she stripped off her hoodie and wrapped it around his waist.

Grabbing her wand from her pocket, she conjured a small basin of warm water with a washcloth. Not even thinking about the boys behind her, she began to gently clean his wounds.

"Do you need help?" James asked, watching her in awe.

The way that she leaned over him, her thoughts completely determined to help him. He watched the way that she looked at Remus. It was like a sister caring for her little brother, trying to make the pain go away from a scraped knee. She slowly glided the cloth over his skin, careful to not actually touch his wounds. She was attentive to his tense boy, mentally remember each reason he'd flinched and hissed, careful to not repeat that action.

She blinked up at him for a moment, as if forgetting who he was, then after letting his face register, she let a small smirk appear on her lips.

"Yeah."

Turning away from Remus for a bit, she conjured a piece of parchment and began to scribble a few words. Within moments she handed a list to Sirius and said,

"Here, can you get these from Madame Pomphrey's office? And some fresh wrappings please?"

"Sure," Sirius breathed, pocketing the list and grabbing James's Invisibility Cloak.

"Sirius wait," James called, jogging over to his best friend before mumbling a few things in his ear and turning back to Lily.

When Sirius and Peter left, James took a seat beside Lily and watched her for a few moments, letting her grace slowly hypnotize him.

Suddenly a chuckle escaped his lips, causing her to start.

"What?" she asked with a small smile, his infecting her.

"You sleep in boys' knickers?"

She ducked her head and blushed prettily.

"You only have a sister, so why do you sleep in boys' knickers?" a few moments of silence and another chuckle escaped his lips along with the word: Spiderman.

"Douggie," she shrugged simply, a ghost of a smile on her face.

"Who's Douggie?"

Her beautiful eyes lit up when the words left his lips. Before he knew it she was rambling away most animatedly.

" . . . he lives across the street. He moved in when we were little and he's the only person that Tuny and I seem to agree is the best. He was my best friend in grade school. He's the only Muggle that knows about Hogwarts; he was there when I received my letter. I miss him."

"Do you like him?" he asked, his emotions guarded.

"I use to," she sighed with a wistful smile tugging at her lips, "but that ship sailed when I realized what he'd known all along. We were too familiar with one another. We were too close, and just because we were attracted to one another didn't mean we should date. I mean, he was there for every important thing in my life. He was my first a lot of things. He was my first guy friend, my first Wet-Willy, my first cooties transmission, my first crush and the first guy I ever hit!"

"You mean I wasn't the first?" he gasped, feigning shock.

She grinned, thinking back to her Sweet 16 where she'd left him on the ground with a fat lip.

"Sorry Bub."

"Why'd you hit him?"

"One day he and the neighborhood boys were playing hockey- a Muggle game with a puck and sticks- and he wouldn't let me play. So I got upset and popped him one. He had a shiner for a whole week."

"Was he upset?"

"I think he got over it in like a day, I think he understood why I was upset with him. But Da handled it worse than the both of us. He was so torn when he found out. First of all he was upset that I couldn't control my temper and that I had hit a friend of the family. But he was also happy that I stood up for myself and wouldn't let a boy deter me."

"So why is it that you wear boys' knickers to bed?"

"When we used to sleep over at his house we never brought overnight clothes so his mom used to give us one of his undershirts and a pair of his knickers, I just got used to them." she shrugged. "They're comfortable."

"So, you said he was your first everything, but you didn't say kiss. So who was your first kiss?" he grinned.

Remus began to groan and Lily thanked the heavens.

"Hey," she smiled when Moony opened his eyes, leaning over him and brushing his short hair from his forehead.

"Lil-" he coughed, his brown eyes peering into her kind face.

"You've been scaring the crap out of us, " she smiled, tears obscuring her vision. "Don't you ever do that again."

"Did I bite someone?" he gasped, his every skittering over her exposed arms.

"No," James spoke up, a grin to his face. "Although I'm pretty sure Lil is going to bite you in the morning for disrupting her beauty sleep."

"No I wo-," she scolded then remembered herself, "yes I will. You better be happy I didn't bite you tonight, you know how much I hate being woken up."

"Especially by this bloke," Moony's chuckle resonated from his throat like a rusty pipe. Then suddenly, his face twitched in pain as his body spasmed excruciatingly.

"Don't worry," Lily smiled, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Padfoot and Wormy are going to get some medicines, then you'll go to sleep and wake up good as new."

"Tell them to hurry!" Remus groaned, pressing his forehead to the floorboards and gritting his teeth.

"Did someone say hurry!" a voice announced in thin air, and with the whoosh of the cloak, Sirius and Peter appeared inside the room carrying a parcel of potions and a mug of something steaming.

"Chocolate!" she gasped, grabbing the mug from his hands and bring the ambrosia to her lips in pure content.

"Good going," Sirius mouthed to James before placing the parcel before her.

In moments she'd finished the chocolate and began placing various potions and concoctions to his wounds.

For the second time tonight she made the passage from the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack, except this time she was going in the opposite direction.

Before her Remus lay on an invisible stretcher, levitating back to the castle where he would sleep in his own bed. A few steps behind Remus was where Sirius and Peter marched, engaged in a heated conversation about their favorite Quidditch team. And beside her stood James, locked in silence as he held her hand in his tightly.

When they finally reached Gryffindor's Common room, Sirius and Peter took Remus upstairs and got ready for bed while she sat on the edge of one of the many overstuffed couches.

James watched as she dug her elbows into her knees as she placed her head in her hands, burying her fingers in her hair.

"He's alright," he whispered, sitting beside her and placing an arm around her shoulder.

"I-," she sniffled. "I don't understand how you can do this once a month. Seeing him like that. Seeing him look so vulnerable, so scared, so . . . pathetic. I couldn't take it. It was so-"

"Intense," he offered.

"Yeah," she sniffled. "I'm so sad for him. It must be hell doing that once a month. I'm so-"

"Hey, he's alright. It scares us too, but he doesn't go through that every month. That was a first time for us. He's better when we're there. He was like that before we became Anamagi though."

The tears trailed tiny rivers down her face as she looked up into his eyes.

"Don't you get upset? Don't you hate it that he has to go through that? That all his life he's got to be alone just because of something he's cursed with, something he didn't even ask for? Don't you hate that he's never going to be normal, that he's never going to get all that he wants? That he'll never be completely happy?"

Brushing a few stray curls from her eyes, he gazed into them for a few moments before replying.

"It's not for me to get upset about. Sure I wish for things to be different, but they can't, and I can't get angry over them. He has to deal with it. in the end I'm not always going to be around, but he will be, and he's the one that's going to have to carry it."

"That didn't help," she bawled on his shoulder, just as a new wave of sorrow engulfed her.

"Shh," he pressed a kiss to her forehead, their gazes locking as he leaned forward again.

"James..." she breathed.

His lips had found that special spot. The part right below her ear that made her soft and pliant, that made her body mold into the position his body left on her.

Her eyes fluttered closed as her fingers tugged on the end of his shirt, while the other hand climbed up his back, pressing him closer to her.

His fingers undoing the zipper to her hoodie, pressing her further in to the cushions on the couch while she panted softly.

She was lost inside him, inside the feelings he invoked in her that look over her body, lighting her skin on fire. Her skin so sensitive that the feeling of his fingers on her brought shockwaves through her system, arching her back, pressing her teeth in his warm skin, grasping between his shoulder blades.

She was drowning in a sea of pleasure, moaning, grasping clenching and unclenching beneath him. A warmth she'd never felt beforebuilding within her. But it wasn't until his fingers grazed the inside of her shirt, right over her nipple that the realization shocked through her and she sat up, effectively throwing him off of her.

"What?" he cried from his place on the floor, his hands immediately flying to his hair.

"We can't do this," she jumped from her seat and turned her back to him, her body humming with heat.

"Lily, I-"

"I don't want to hear it Potter," she interrupted, "I'm going to bed and forgetting this ever happened."

And she dashed away to her dorm.

TBC. . .

A/N: hoped you liked it, now please review, Linda has been threatening me, so I did it, and I'm never going to a volleyball game again (unless Pretty Eyez, or one of my many husbands are there!)!

w/ luv, Yo-yo


	9. At First Sight

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

A/N: Andy is Andromeda, if you didn't get it. Ciel is Skye in French, which is Sunny's little sister, who you might grow to hate or love in later chapters.

Chapter 9- At First Sight:

"James, be good," Catherine Potter pleaded, kneeling before him and wiping some soot from his face with a damp handkerchief.

"Mum, gerroff me!" he groaned pulling away from her insistent reach, rubbing the base of his neck in embarrassment.

A deep chuckle escaped Thomas Potter's lips as he watched his wife accost his son and his son bat her hand away in annoyance.

Even at eleven, everyone knew that James Potter was going to be a handsome young man. His hazel eyes always seemed to gleam with mischief. His plump cheeks accentuated his boyishly cut face, giving his smile those adorable dimples. His untidy, black hair fell across his forehead and curled around his ears. He looked like a puppy whose pelt hadn't been brushed in a very long time.

"Dad, make her stop!" James groaned, ducking as she accosted him again, the handkerchief held out like a weapon.

"Still making your Dad fight you battles, Potty?" a voice called from behind.

Whirling around, James's little face lit up.

Hurtling at him was his best friend, Sirius Black.

"Black," he greeted jovially, "Where's your Mum and Da?"

"I upset Mum," Sirius's grin broadened.

"What'd you do?"

"Electric frog spawn in the toilet. Every time that Mum went to the loo, she got zapped, right in the bum!"

"Wicked!" James laughed, picturing Mrs. Black getting shocked in the bum.

"But where are your parents?" Thomas asked, eyeing Sirius.

"They sent me with Andy."

"On the first day?" Catherine cried in disapproval. "Don't they want to know what house you belong to?"

"If I don't get into Slytherin, I suspect they'll disown me." Sirius shrugged, his smile widening.

"Where is Andy?" Thomas asked, looking above the heads of the myriads of young wizards and witches.

"Searching for Tonks, her 'boyfriend'," Sirius sang with a repulsed look on his face.

"Tonks . . . I'm unfamiliar with that name," Thomas pondered.

"He's a Muggle-born," Sirius provided. "My Mum nearly blew her wig when she heard. They're not speaking."

"Potter," a voice called, "do you need some help there?"

"No Weasley," Thomas called to the young man with the hair of fire. "I can take care of the trunk, I'm not that old."

"No, not at all Grandpa Potter, not at all . . . wow, look at those gray hairs!"

"Shut up!" Thomas laughed good-naturedly, running a hand through the cluttered mess deemed his hair.

"Hi James, excited about going to Hogwarts?"

"Yeah," James grinned, "Dad has already told me some of the secret passages and we've already raided Zonko's for some new pranks-"

"Thomas," Catherine scolded, "you told me you were going to look at brooms- well that should have tipped me off since first years can't have brooms." She groaned rolling her eyes.

"Hon-" Thomas began.

"James, if I get a letter from that school saying you've blown up the Herbology greenhouses, you're bum is mine!"

"What if Sirius does it?"

"Well then his bum is mine."

"But you're not my Mum," Sirius protested, "You can't do that!"

"You've eaten enough of my food for me to be considered your Mum, so I get to do what I please!"

"That's not fair!" Sirius groaned, his blue eyes darkening. "Now how am I supposed to blow up the girls' john?"

"We'll find a way," James grinned conspiratorially.

"So Arthur, you've grown," Catherine smiled, returning her attention to Weasley.

Arthur Weasley was now a tall fifth year. His fiery red hair curled beneath his ears and his bright blue eyes twinkled with mirth. He had freckles everywhere; his limbs were littered by the little red dots. He was tall and thin, his body never seemed put on any weight. His hands and feet were large; it seemed the rest of him still had to catch up with puberty.

"Yea, six inches in one summer," Arthur grinned pushing back his vivid red hair.

"I bet Abigail loved replacing your robes again."

"The more robes for Ronny. He's got a couple years of use in them, yet." he shrugged.

A loud whistle weaved through the throng of boisterous students, indicating them of the upcoming departure.

"Well, I guess that means you've got ten minutes." Thomas sighed, looking down at his only son.

Suddenly tears came into Catherine's eyes,

"I don't want you to go! Come back. We'll have a party. You'll go next year!" she cried, leaning down and capturing both boys in her arms.

"Mum, no!" James groaned, not wanting his parents to know he was at the brink of actually going back with them.

"Cathy . . ." Thomas began, "he'll be back for Christmas and by then you'll be begging him to leave again."

"Sure," she whispered pulling away and wiping her eyes.

"Arthur, take these two into the train before she gets a hold of them again and won't let go."

"James, remember to send Mercury over as soon as you both know what houses you belong."

"Yes Mum."

"And wash behind your ears!"

"Yes Mum."

"And Sirius, please don't blow up the Herbology greenhouses, that's my favorite spot."

"Sure Mrs. Potter!"

"And James-"

"Mum, just write a letter, I'm sure you'll like that a lot better!"

"Our baby's so old!" she sighed, leaning her head to Thomas's shoulder.

"C'mon guys," Arthur chuckled taking them to the large, scarlet steam engine. Taking them to the last car, he told them. "You guys can take this car. I'll tell Andy that you guys are here and she'll come see you later."

"Sure," they replied in unison.

"So, how's Reggie?" James asked when Arthur had left.

"Fine. Today Mum and Dad took him to Diagon Alley to get his first broom. He already wants to be a Wasp. He's annoying."

"Just like you," James laughed, playfully punching Sirius in the arm.

He looked outside the window, trying to catch a glimpse of his parents before the train began to gently glide along the tracks towards its destination.

There were still hundreds of kids milling around bidding farewell to their parents and kissing them goodbye. Far back he could see the Benoire's kissing Sunny goodbye with little Ciel, Sunny's younger sister, crying behind her father's leg.

Delia, along with her three older brothers, Benjamin, Kerry and Philippe, were all wishing Adam Flynn goodbye as they rushed to the train.

But there was one girl that caught his eye.

She stood in front of her parents. Her Dad was tall. His dress mediocre and his short, well kept brown hair was cut close to his head. Beside him stood a woman, tall and slender. Her long, red floral print dress was light and airy. Her long, curly brown hair was held away from her face with an exquisite silver clasp. He couldn't see their faces, but he could see hers.

She was small. She barely looked about eight. Her face was tiny and red, she was crying. Her lips were contorted in a horrible frown, forming words uncovering her missing back tooth. Her flaming red hair was pulled back into two plaits that ended in curls underneath her ears. She was wearing a little green gingham dress with little white and yellow flowers on the hem.

Standing beside her was a girl whom he could barely make out to be her sister. Although they barely looked related, they both shared huge, piercing green eyes, the light splash of freckles and that frown. Her hair was brown like her father's; she looked older and stood taller than the little girl crying beside her. She looked sad, scared, as if she would give anything to go home at that moment. She also looked annoyed. She was tapping her Mary Jane toes to the wooden slabs, fingering the hem to her own denim dress with little red flowers embroidered up the side.

"What's wrong with her?" Sirius asked over his shoulder, looking at the little girl.

"It seems she doesn't want to go." James answered in a whisper.

They both watched as the little girl wrapped her arms around her father's neck, tears still streaming down her cheeks as she clenched her eyes shut, never wanting to leave his grasp. They all watched the distress on both her parents' faces as her father stood up, and looked at the train longingly. Then Kerry, one of Delia's older brothers, gingerly took the girl from the man's arms and carried her onto the train, her screams piercing as she reached out for her father, begging him to take her home; with Delia, Ben, Phil and Sunny following behind.

"She's a baby," he grinned to Sirius, noticing Kerry carry her into the next compartment.

"Yeah, only a baby cries here."

For a few moments, they heard loud wails coming from the next compartment, and then finally, they heard none.

Two minutes later the train began its route towards Hogwarts. And two minutes later, a boy came to their compartment.

He was tall and gangly. His short, honey brown hair was cut close to his head and his brown eyes regarded them anxiously.

"Hi, I'm Remus Lupin. Uh, this girl, Andromeda, told me to come here. Can I sit please?"

"Sure," Sirius grinned, "so, are you Muggle-born or are your parent's wizards?"

"Uh, both are wizards- I mean both are a wizard and witch."

"So Lupin, we've never heard of that name."

"My parents travel around a lot. I haven't lived in one place long enough for you to know my name."

"So, why do you guys move around a lot?" James asked, as Remus sat down on the opposite seat.

His cheeks reddened dramatically as he answered, "Their job makes them move around a lot. So, what do your parents do?"

"Uh, my Mum works for the Daily Prophet and my Dad is an Auror."

"Oh, and your father . . .?"

"Sorry, I'm Sirius Black and he's James Potter. My parents don't do much actually. We're from old money, so basically, we've got so much that my parents decided there's no use in working, so they sit on their fat asses all day long and bitch me about whatever they deem inappropriate."

"Oh, so do you have any siblings?"

"I've got a younger brother, but Potty here is the only child."

"No, I've got a bratty brother named Sirius-" Potter laughed.

"So, you guys have known each other for awhile?"

"Yeah, but don't worry. There are only a few of us that have friends like this. Seriously, like half of our family go to this school, and half of them we want to disown. But seriously, according to his Dad, you'll meet more new people here and make better friendships here than anywhere else."

"Did your parents go here?"

"No, my Mum's sister did. But my Mum's parents moved away before she could attend, so she went to Beauxbatons. My Dad is from the United States. They met . . ."

"Um, excuse me, I was wondering, may I please take a seat here."

"Hey Ed." Sirius and Potter smiled to the young man.

"Hey guys," then he turned to Remus. "Hi, I'm Edgar Bones. And who are you?"

"I'm Remus Lupin."

"Lupin means wolf." Edgar smiled good-naturedly, as Remus's cheeks began to flame in embarrassment.

"He's smart," Sirius provided while rolling his eyes.

"So, you guys wanna' play a game of Exploding Snap?"

"Sure," Remus grinned, his pale, gaunt face livening.

* * *

"Lily," Aaron sighed, distress creasing the lines on his forehead as he kneeled before the wailing little girl with the red face.

"I don't wanna' go!" she cried, not even bothering to chase the tears with her fists and wipe them away before anyone could see.

"Maybe we shouldn't make her go?" he asked looking up at Susan who too had furrowed brows. "I don't like the idea of keeping her there alone with strangers."

Susan's brown eyes flickered with sadness as she watched her little girl pulling on the hem of her gingham dress with tears streaming down her beautiful green eyes.

"This is an amazing opportunity," she whispered in Lily's ears, trying to calm her down, "and you of all people should really take advantage of it. I know it's scary, I know you don't know what to expect, but you've got a lot of people that love you and you'll make a ton of friends there. And soon, you won't even be thinking of home." she softly chuckled.

"I wanna' stay home with you," she wailed, opening her eyes to look at her mother.

"Lily Billy, you can't. You need to get on that train and go to school. We'll see you in a couple of weeks and soon you'll be in love with that school."

"Daddy, don't leave me!" she cried lifting her arms and wrapping them tightly around his neck.

Kerry Flynn watched the distressed Muggles from his place beside his two brothers and little sister and felt sorry for the little girl. She had no one to take this journey with; he could even imagine his little sister, Dee, making as much of a spectacle of herself if she didn't have the boys.

"Hey, Dad, I'm going to help someone, so I'll write you when Dee gets her room, 'k?"

"See ya' son," he replied absently, he was watching the situation also.

He let a smile soften the features of his face as he approached the Muggle couple. He flashed a smile to the mother, the daughter and the father before gently plucking the little girl from her father's arms leaving her wailing to be back in the familiar arms.

"Shh," he whispered, rubbing her back and carrying her onto the Scarlet Steam engine, his two brothers, his little sister and her friend, Sunny, following him.

"There ya' go," he smiled setting a still crying Lily Evans onto a compartment seat.

"Don't cry," Sunny frowned, as the sobs lessened and the tears subsided.

"I want my Mum and my Da," she sniffled as Kerry smoothed down her flyaway curls.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead, "but they can't come. But don't cry, you're amongst friends now."

"No I'm not," she began crying again. "My friends are all going to Sacred Heart, where there are no wands, no magic, no imaginary passages."

"Don't you want to go to Hogwarts? You could learn to become invisible, you could learn to fly, and you could learn to clean your room in the blink of an eye."

"No," she sniffled looking away. "I'd much rather be sitting in a stifling classroom with Mary Jane, Josey, and Davey."

"Well, I'm Kerry Flynn, and this is my little sister, Delia. Dee and her friend Sunny are both first years too. They're scared too. They had to leave their parents too and they didn't want to either. Sunny, here, has a little sister named Skye that she wanted to stay with. Dee wanted to stay with Dad and our new puppy Quaffle. But they came, and I know that they want to be your friends. At least your temporary friends."

"Really?" she asked through the tears in her eyes.

"Yeah," both girls nodded, Sunny's long curls bobbing around her brown shoulders.

That was the moment that Sunny, Dee and Lily all became friends.

"So, you're obviously a Muggle?" both Sunny and Dee giggled after Kerry left.

"A what?"

"Your family is non-magical?"

"Yeah," she nodded, tears slowly escaping her eyes.

"You really love your parents don't you?"

"Yeah, tomorrow my Da and I were supposed to spend the weekend down in Marseille visiting some of his old college mates. We were supposed to have some alone time before I started school, but we couldn't . . . we can't."

"Who was the other girl?" Sunny asked.

"That's my sister, Tuny."

"Tuny?"

"Short for Petunia. She's older . . . a Muggle."

"She looked upset."

"After I got the Hogwarts letter, we had a row and now she isn't talking to me."

"That's sad."

"Oh, it's Tuny, she'll get over it." Lily scoffed, wiping away her tears. "So, what's this place like?"

* * *

"Firs' years," a loud, gruff voice called amongst the students clambering out of the large engine and parting to either the myriads of horseless carriages, or the large, mini-giant calling for first years.

"Firs' years," he called again as the wooden planks of Hogsmeade Station groaned in protest of his large weight.

Lily clung on to Sunny's arm as the trio made their way towards the gargantuan man. He stood about two people tall and three people wide with a clean shaven face that smiled kindly and dark sparkling eyes. He looked like a man that worked. He was large, but his stockiness didn't seem to be fat, but instead muscle. He wasn't scary like a weight lifter, but rather like a large lumberjack.

"Firs' years," he called again, mentally counting the younger students.

"Hey Hagrid," a little boy with jet black hair and impish hazel eyes called to him with a raised arm, his round cheeks rosy with exertion.

"'Ello James, how's yer Mum an' Dad?"

"Fine," the boy laughed, "but Jacks sure has been missing you."

"Don' worry, I'll be over to visit that ragamuffin jus' as soon as I can."

"Everyone here?" he asked, looking down at the anxious faces.

There were little nods of affirmation before he turned around and led them to the large, inky pond. Standing quietly, and quite innocently were about twenty-five little rowboats, waiting for a few passengers. Without saying anything, Hagrid climbed in and the first years followed, Lily, Sunny and Delia sitting down followed by a flaxen- curled girl by the name of Monica.

When everyone was seated, with the simple tap of Hagrid's pink umbrella, the twenty-five little rowboats jerked to life and began lazily paddling across the onyx lake towards the unseen castle.

"Yeh'll be gettin' yer' firs' glimpse of Hogwarts in a second," he called and suddenly, there it was.

Climbing over the horizon an unbelievable, almost romantic castle began to appear, gently mounting higher and higher into the sky, illuminating the entire night with its warmth and beauty.

"Ah," all four girls breathed as the grand castle rose higher as they floated closer, their eyes glimpsing every nook and cranny, trying to take it all in at once.

"It's beautiful," Sunny breathed, her eyes following the many rooftops as if she were skipping to each one, playing a little game in her head.

"I've seen it before," Dee breathed, "but never from this close, it's almost unreal."

"My Mum said it would be beautiful, but never breathtaking," Monica whispered.

Lily remained silent as she gazed at the magnificent building looming before her eyes.

The boats jerked to a stop just before the bank, allowing the students to get out and trudge their way to where Hagrid stood just outside the Main Entrance with an old woman.

"This all of them?" she asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Yep, counted them ma'self." He answered proudly.

Tipping his hat and winking to the students, his smile wrinkled the corners of his eyes as he announced, "First years, this is Professor O'Flannary."

"I'll take them from here," she said, turning and walking through the open doors.

The first years followed the round, stern faced lady as she led them into a stone walled chamber.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she managed an awkward smile. "The start-of- term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The four houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin and Ravenclaw. These houses are important because they will be something like a family to you during your years here. Each house has some quality that distinguishes them from the rest. Good luck."

In single file, they all made a queue and entered the Grand Hall. All their eyes ran over every feature of the room, stopping completely to stare at the enchanted ceiling that was a clear, star filled representation of the actual sky.

Professor O'Flannary, carrying a tall stool and a decrepit hat marched to the front of the hall and carefully placed the hat on top of the stool. When she moved away, the hat jumped to life and sang an animated song, detailing each houses strengths and weaknesses. After the hat had settled back to an almost comatose state, O'Flannary began calling names in alphabetical order and correspondingly, the hat would call out a house name, after the respective student would try it on.

Finally. . .

"Evans, Lillian."

When they'd heard the name, the entire school's eyes searched the crowd, looking for the next student. When she took a step forward, almost like a magnet, everyone's eyes were on her, staring at her intently.

Lifting her head, almost defying herself to be afraid, she made her way towards the hat, ignoring everyone around her.

Sunny had already been chosen for Gryffindor, and Delia had announced on the train that all of her brothers were in Gryffindor, and that they were even on the Quidditch team. Everyone in Sunny's family had been in Gryffindor . . . would she?

Then suddenly, before she could correct herself, a leg shot out before her and she stumbled over it, crashing to the floor.

The entire room grew silent as she lay on the floor, unsure of what to do. Looking up, all she was were hazel eyes staring back at her, twinkling with laughter, and her cheeks flamed red.

Getting help from a nearby Kerry Flynn, she stood up, brushed herself off, flashed a deathly cold glare towards the boy with the hazel eyes and marched to the hat and shoved it on her head, hoping that she could disappear inside of it.

"Wow," was the first thing the voice said inside her head. "If you weren't Muggle- born I'd put you in Slytherin at this instant! Hmm, very interesting. You're very smart, kind and you've definitely got a lot of courage and a temper. And you seemed to have formed a friendship with a new Gryffindor and would rather not sever the tie. Although I believe you might to better in Ravenclaw where there are more of your kind and less impetuous people, I think you'll surpass far better in GRYFFINDOR!"

Taking off the hat, Lily placed it back on the stool and dashed from the Great Hall, tears streaming down her face.

Hours later Kerry Flynn had found her huddled in one of the broom closets crying. He took her to Professor Dumbledore and found out from Kerry that the boy with the hazel eyes had been reprimanded.

TBC . . .

P.A/N: I'm so sorry this has taken so long. I've been a basket case. I got accepted into MSU though, so I'm not all that sad. Uh, I've still got college apps to fill out, but I'll try to send out the next ASAP. I've got a retreat next weekend, so I'll try to get one out before Friday, but if not, wish me luck. And Linda, see, I updated.


	10. She doesn't See

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

Chapter 10- She doesn't See:

"Why in the hell does she always run!" he gasped, jolting from his sleep.

"Because she doesn't like you," Sirius groaned, turning his head and falling back into the realm of the subconscious.

"Shut up ya' bugger," he groaned, pulling open the curtains to his four poster and struggling out of bed.

It was the third time that week that he'd woken up to that exact dream and recited those exact same words. He didn't understand what it was about him that repelled her so. Every other girl in the school swooned at his feet. They flirted with him in the corridors, they gossiped about him in the loos and they made out with him in abandoned classrooms. But she did not. To her, he not worth her time. She hated him and always took the chance to make it known. She thought she was better than him, would never agree with him, for some reason he was the bane of her existence, and he didn't understand why.

Scratching his bare chest, he tugged some socks on his feet and exited the dormitory.

He'd done this every night since the full moon. Sitting across from the fire, he bathed in the feeling of its warmth licking his skin enticingly as he stared into its depths, trying to understand Lily Evans in his head.

He knew from their first meeting he'd been a jerk to her, but that had tapered off when they'd become friends. After she'd found out about Remus they'd both turned a new leaf. He stopped playing rudimentary pranks on her and she tolerated his presence. Then the summer of fifth year happened and he realized that he was in love with her. From that day on he'd made it known to everyone that Evans would someday be his, but for some reason, she wouldn't give him the time of day.

He'd asked her out a myriad of times, hell, he even kissed her on her sixteenth birthday, and yet she still hated him. He watched as she dated other boys. He watched as she got her heart broken. Sometimes it was he that would sit beside her and help her glue the pieces back together, but no matter how sweetly he treated her, no matter how hard he tried to convey his true feelings for her, she never gave him a chance.

When he entered the common room he found it empty, save for Skye, Sunny's sister, who was intently painting off to the corner.

Skye looked a lot like Sunny. Hell, all the Benoire girls looked like the perfect woman only found in fantasies. Her wide eyes were the same stormy blue gray as her sisters (although hers were masked behind wire rimmed glasses); her eyelashes so long they looked coincidentally as if they were reaching to touch the sky. She had the classic Benoire nose, and beautifully curved Benoire lips. Her long ebony hair was usually pulled at the top of her head, with a few long strands falling over her eyes- which she tucked behind her ears.

Everyone who saw her immediately drew the conclusion that she was Sunny's twin sister. But everyone who knew them knew just how different the two were.

Skye was quiet. Her world wasn't of facts, but rather muddled in a hurricane of feelings. She hung out with her friends, Gia Briggs, Jordan Adan and Venus Andopolis, but she was usually found sitting alone in the corner of the common room painting as she listened to the Wailing Widows (an old witch group).

At the moment, Skye was softly humming "It must have been Magic" quite badly as she leaned on her elbows and studied the painting before her. Her long, thin body was clad in paint doused overalls, he imaged her Mum made her wear after getting tired to cleaning paint stains. Her hair was tied away from her face with a blue bandana to escape the paint, he guesses, but there was still a strand of hair with white paint on the tip. And she held a paint laden brush between her teeth as she scrutinized the painting.

"Hey Skye," he said finally, not wanting to be rude.

But apparently the spell she'd placed on herself omitted all other sounds because she didn't even bat an eyelash in recognition.

Coming up behind her, he himself surveyed the painting. Staring into the piece, with her back to him he wasn't ashamed to admit he didn't get it. It was a myriad of colors placed strategically on the canvass, but it didn't seem to come together to form a central theme. There were browns and greens and reds and purples, but he didn't understand how they fit together, how they conformed to her idea.

"Hey Skye," he said again, this time placing a hand on her shoulder.

As soon as his hand brushed against her skin, she started, literally jumped out of her seat and tumbled to the floor, effectively getting a nice brushstroke of orange just above her brow.

"Damnit!" she gasped trying to catch her breath as she struggled back into her seat, still clutching her heart. "Don't you ever do that again!"

"I'm sorry," he grinned, liking the way her eyes seemed to grow wider and her face opened like a flower, effectively showing her anxiety.

She blinked her eyes hard, and sort of nodded her head. Then she turned back to him, her breathing still slowing itself down.

"What'd you just say?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"Whatever, so why are you down here?"

"That's a nice painting." He replied trying to change the subject.

"Nice try, if you don't understand it, at least ask me to." She grinned, her breathing back to normal as she retrieved a towel from her back pocket and cleaned off her brush with it.

"You've got some paint on your face."

"Where?" she asked, beginning to wipe her cheek down with the hard, dry towel.

"Not there, there." He pointed, but she still got the wrong spot. After many moments of trying, he just gave up and took the towel from her hands.

"Here," he announced as he gingerly wiped the substance from her skin.

"Thanks," she whispered as she moved away from him.

"So, I don't understand the painting."

"Look closer."

He moved closer to the canvas, but it still seemed muddled together; a heterogeneous of colors and shapes.

"I still-"

"Closer." She replied.

And then he saw it. Among the colors and shapes, he found people; dancing. Their bodies moved around the canvass like poetry, each movement a story in itself, each person an idea. They flowed like water into one another, their bodies contorted in beautiful poses, their faces masked in determination. Their colors were a storyteller, a long, red scarf linking them all together. They revealed something he didn't think he'd see.

"It's made so you don't understand. The most important lessons in life were created that way. You're not supposed to understand, but learn from your mistakes and attempt to understand later. Some people never understand. They never take the time to sit down and just be. They're afraid, always rushing, afraid to be alone, afraid to think, afraid to feel. They won't ever understand life."

He looked back at her. She was wiping her hands clean with the towel while staring into the canvass.

* * *

He arose to the loud crash of someone stumbling to the floor around him. Sitting up, he opened his eyes to reveal him still sitting inside the common room, the only remnants of the night before was Skye's painting, standing on her easel for everyone to interpret and the crackling fire.

And at the moment, Lily was standing in front of it, her nose almost pressed against the still wet piece of material as she stared into it. She stood there for a few moments with furrowed brows before she lifted herself upright and muttered to herself:

"I don't get it."

And he realized something. No matter what he did, Lily would never care about him in the way that he needed her to. She didn't want him and never would, so what use was there to try anymore?

. . . And that was the day that James Potter had finally given up on Lillian Evans.

* * *

". . . Ashley and Jacob, have you tightened up your feint?"

"Yes," they groaned, hoping she had forgotten.

"Ok, gather your brooms and let's get out there." Fly smiled almost deliriously at the rest of her team.

When they'd gotten out to the pitch, he wasn't surprised to see that Lily wasn't there. But he did see Remus and Sunny sitting next to one another and Peter off to the side.

Remus and the rest of the Marauders had apologized to Sunny and Delia a few days ago. All that was left was for James to apologize to Lily and all would be fine . . . except he wasn't going to.

He didn't care anymore- or that was at least what he kept trying to convince himself. He wasn't going to bend backwards anymore for someone who refused to acknowledge him and never cared about him in the first place. Apologizing to Lily would be a waste of his time because in another two weeks they'd be fighting again; it was finally her time to apologize.

With the piercing of Professor Montgomery's whistle, they were off and James's mind was focused totally on the game.

"Great job Potter," some Hufflepuff smiled and pat him on the back.

He nodded in acknowledgement and continued on his way towards Gryffindor tower, seeking his four poster for an afternoon nap.

As soon as he climbed up the portrait hole, a deafening cheer erupted from the Gryffindors and he immediately held back a groan. Standing in the middle of the group holding a butterbeer was Sirius with the other Gryffindors, celebrating their defeat of the Ravenclaws, 200 to 10.

"Hey James," Sirius called from the crowd, one of his arms around Fly's shoulders as he rocked back and forth to one of Lily's records.

"I'm going to take a nap," he called over the music, struggling to make his way over to the boys' dormitory.

"Anything wrong?" he asked, watching James's weary face as he reached the door.

"Just tired," he replied before disappearing behind the door.

As soon as the large door was closed, the loud music was muffled and he sank down onto the first step, his head banging as if trying to open itself up from the inside out. He looked up and groaned. There were way too many stairs from the common room to his dormitory. This was one of the times when he wished he could Apparate, but that had to wait until the end of the year.

With a grunt he lifted himself from the stair and began to trudge up the staircase, cursing whoever hadn't thought of putting in the moving stairs like Dumbledore's office.

As soon as the door swung open, he spotted Lily sitting on the floor beside Sirius's bed, rummaging through some of his stuff staring right back at him.

"Sorry," she mumbled, putting everything back, "Sirius said I could borrow some stuff and I . . . I didn't know . . . so, did you guys win?"

"You weren't there." He stated.

"I'm never there." She shrugged looking up at him with her legs crossed Indian style.

"Well then why do you want to know who in the fuck won?" he snapped.

"Wow." She exclaimed, jumping up from the floor. "I wasn't fucking asking if you got laid last night- which obviously you didn't- it was just a simple question."

"Well pose that question to someone else on the bloody team and get the hell out!"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you PMSing or something?" she asked with arms akimbo.

"Nothing is wrong with me, now may you please leave, I'm a little tired."

"No, why in the hell did you just snap at me, I didn't do anything."

"Just fuck off," he mumbled climbing into his four poster and closing the curtain behind him.

But Lily was ready for the confrontation. In seconds she was behind him wrenching the curtains open and yelling at him.

"Who the fuck do you think that you are?"

"Who do you think you are?" James asked, shooting up from his lying position, his face only millimeters from hers.

"I asked first, you're the one that started this in the first place."

"I didn't start this. You started this one."

"And how did I do that?" she asked, screaming at him.

"What the fuck is so wrong about me?" he mimicked her tone, flecks of spit flying in her face.

"I don't know, ask yourself."

"Well you seem to have it pretty much down. Every girl at this school would love to go out with me, and yet you'd rather die. What is it about ME Lily that repels you so? Why am I off limits? Why can you date everyone at this damn school, my friends and even Muggles before you date ME?"

She blinked once, twice, three times before she seemed to understand.

"That's what this is about?" she whispered, moving back a step.

"When it comes down to Lily and James that's always what it's about."

"But . . . I- I thought we went over this already?"

"Refresh my memory." He breathed, his eyes narrowing into slits.

"James," she frowned, settling herself on the floor before him. "I have nothing against you . . . I've just never seen you that way."

"Lily, you've never seen me in any way."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not your friend, I've never been, all I've ever been was that guy you've got to tolerate because Sirius, Remus and Fly like me. I'm just there to you. You've never cared, never wanted me there anyway. It doesn't matter if I live or die. I'm nothing to you, so how could you have seen me at all?"

"It's not like that James," she shook her head. "I always trusted you. You were there for me when I needed you and I always thanked you for that."

"Yeah, but when I need you you're never there for me. Hell, when I'm there for you, you completely forget about it by the next morning. You barely even acknowledge me as a human being, hell you've even told me that part to my face!"

"You can't do that?"

"Can't do what?" he laughed.

"Can't take what I say when I'm mad to heart. You can't trust what I say to you when I'm upset!"

"Lily, the only times that we speak to one another are when we're upset! Hell, the only times we're ever civil to one another are when we're apologizing. If you really do BELIEVE that we're friends, then we've got a pretty fucked up relationship if the only times we ever converse are in times of strife."

"We do have a pretty fucked up friendship."

"No, we've got a pretty fucked up relationship. We're 'friends by association.' In all these five years, you still introduce me to your parents as an acquaintance. Damnit, my parents get you a fuckin' present for both your birthday and Christmas! Hell, your parents barely know I exist. You still introduce me as a 'ragamuffin.'"

"So this is about how I introduce you all of a sudden?"

"No, that's confirmation as to how you see me. I bet you chucked that bracelet out the window the moment you found it, huh?"

"No," she whispered, staring into her hands.

"Well you should have," he whispered, looking down at her. "Then you would have realized what everyone already knows."

"And what's that?" she asked looking him in the eye.

"That James Potter is just an insignificant pest to you and won't ever mean a goddamn thing."

"James," she whispered standing up, moving towards him.

"Get the fuck away from me, Lily. Don't you even try to touch me!"

"You don't get it, that's not how I see you at all-"

"So, instead of insignificant it should have been non-existent?" he snapped, standing up.

"James," she pleaded.

"Clean up the mess you've made." He said before exiting the room and hurtling down the stone steps, out of the dormitory and later out of the school.

* * *

"Hey Skye," he whispered climbing through the portrait hole.

"Hi James," she smiled, taking a sip of her water, and looking over at him.

"What are you doing here again?"

"Looking for some quiet."

"Everyone wondered what happened to you when you ran out of here like a bat out of hell."

"Is that your subtle way of asking what happened?"

"You know me so well, James Potter," she smiled turning around and straddling her seat.

"I decided to take a nap in a quieter place."

"Like away from Lily Evans?"

"Exactly." He grinned, pushing his hair away from his forehead.

"We saw her leave the dorms a few minutes after you left. We guessed it was another fight."

"Yeah, another fight. . ."

"What's this one about?"

"The same as the others; I'm through with her."

"Oh?" she asked raising a brow.

"Shut up, it's not like I say this once everyday. It's over. I'm friends with the Marauders and Sunny and Fly. But she's just there; I'm not going to acknowledge her anymore. She's my friends' friend."

"Are you sure that's wise?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Doesn't matter if it's wise, it just matters that I'm happy."

"Are you happy knowing that you'll never be with her?"

"I've never been with her, so it's not like I won't live."

"Your call James Potter, your call," she smiled before returning to her new painting.

"Goodnight Skye."

"Bye Potter." She replied behind him.

TBC . . .

A/N: For all of uz that wanted them to get together, I'm sorry, but it seems that they aren't. Both Lily and James have something to learn. And although James is on his way to understanding, Lily still hasn't even begun. R&R please, and for the person with the comment about James knowing she was a Muggle at first and then not knowing in later chapters that made no sense. I'm very glad that you pay that close attention to what I write, but I couldn't seem to find that in chapter six. So I don't know, but I appreciate your comments. I like constructive criticism; it makes the world go round.

w/ luv, Yo-yo (R&R)


	11. Shouldn't have to

Llef ylil yhw -by Yo-yo 

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

Chapter 11- Shouldn't have to:

"Hey Guys," Lily managed a smile as she entered the dormitory.

"Lil, which one should I wear?" Fly asked, holding up a red sweater and a blue one.

"Sunny's green one," she answered automatically, while staring at Sunny who was rifling through her wardrobe. "So where are you guys going?"

"We're going to have a leaf fight in the forest." Sunny answered, before tugging on a green sweater.

"Hey," Fly called, "I was going to wear that!"

"The Forbidden Forest?" Lily asked with a brow raised.

"Yeah," she replied then called to Fly, "then toss me the red one."

Lily watched as Sunny tugged off the green sweater and chucked it across the room, barely catching the red sweater that Fly had tossed back.

"Only you two?" she asked plopping down on the bed as she watched the two comically get ready.

"Gosh no," Fly scoffed, "where's the fun in that?"

"So, with who?" she asked tucking a curl behind her ear.

Fly's words came out muffled as she pulled on the green sweater.

"What?" she asked, annoyance tainting her voice.

"Oh, the guys . . . ya' know Sirius, Pete-" Fly folded the collar of her blouse over the crew neck.

"I know who the guys are," Lily interjected.

"Oh, and Skye's gunna' be there."

"Skye? As in your little sister, Skye?"

"Yeah, well, she and James have been hanging around one another, so he invited her." She shrugged.

"Yeah," Fly sighed absentmindedly.

They were silent for a moment, Sunny stuffing her hair in a black beanie, Fly brushing her hair into a messy ponytail and Lily watching them expectantly. Finally, with a huff of exasperation, Lily left the room, slamming the door behind her.

"What's up with her?" Fly asked tying her hair with an elastic.

Sunny shrugged and wrapped a scarf around her neck.

* * *

"Damn," Sirius laughed rubbing his hands together as they entered the common room.

"It got cold," Fly grinned, pushing her flyaway hair from her face.

"You look adorable," he laughed taking in her rosy cheeks, red nose, glittering brown eyes and impish grin.

He leaned over and placed a kiss to her forehead as she playfully punched him in the arm.

"Aww," Sunny and Skye laughed behind them, with one of James's arms wrapped around each shoulder.

"Shut up," Fly laughed hitting both girls with her scarf.

"Hey guys, how 'bout some hot cider?" Remus grinned running into the trio, getting cries of admonishment from both girls.

"Great idea," Sunny grinned wrapping her arms around Remus and giving him a noogie.

"Hey," they heard Remus shout as they entered the boys' dormitory.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Sirius grinned as they climbed up the staircase.

"Yeah, did you see Skye's face when the leaf bomb blew up in her face!"

"Yeah, you should have seen your face when she chased after you hurling acorns at the back of your head!"

"Yeah, well you probably had the same look when Dee chased after you and jumped on your back. It was so funny watching you fall to the ground on your face. And the look you had when you looked up and spit the leaves from your mouth . . . priceless!" James laughed picturing the moment in his head.

"Yeah, well Delia can be great when she's not freaking out about Quidditch."

"Yeah, she can be really cool when she's not freaking out." James wrapped his arm around his best friend's shoulder.

When they reached their door, Sirius swung the door open and both boys stopped in confusion.

Sitting on Edgar's bed were Lily and Edgar, laughing. What was surprising about the situation was that Lily was in her bathrobe with damp curls and socks on her feet and Edgar was wearing pajama pants and a wife beater, his blond hair curling around his ears. They were both sitting there with Lily's hand on his chest and her forehead on his shoulder.

Sirius cleared his throat and their heads snapped to the sound; their smiles hardly fading.

"You two look cozy," he commented, glancing back at James whose hands had flown up to his hair.

Ed laughed looked back to Lily whose giggle bubbled through her throat.

"We've just been hanging round for a couple of hours," he grinned.

"I am just surprised to see you two hanging around like this. I didn't think you guys were that close."

Lily pushed her hair back, "So, how was the leaf fight?"

"Great," Sirius grinned. "Moony got Sunny good!"

"I'll bet," she grinned, looking back at Ed who began chuckling again.

"So, what have you two been up to today?" James asked, not liking the way she touched his arm and smiled with her eyes.

"Swimming, talking, bonding," Ed replied, ruffling her hair. "We're about to head out to Godric's Hollow to get some hot chocolate, so, we'll see ya' later."

Taking the hint, Lily stood up, careful of her robe opening and smiled to the guys. "I'll see you guys later. And Ed, I'll be ready in fifteen minutes."

"Sure," he nodded slightly.

Nodding to the boys, she left the dormitory and headed towards her own.

"So, what's with that?" Sirius asked, watching Ed as he pulled off his wife beater, and walked towards his wardrobe. "Are you guys together now?"

"Why are you even asking? Are you sweet on Miss Evans?"

"She's my friend; I don't want her getting hurt."

"I'm sorry Sirius, but you must have me mistaken with yourself and your best friend behind you. I don't break girls hearts and I certainly don't leave them crying."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing." He frowned pulling on a t-shirt and a dark blue sweater.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't want to get in an argument with you Sirius. It's not that major- if you want to know, talk to your friend. I'm sure if she feels the same as you treat her, she'll have no problem telling you what I'm talking about."

"Don't fuck with her, Ed." James whispered, his silence finally getting to him.

"Where in the hell do you get the idea that I'm going to hurt her? Hell, she's only my friend. I'm not trying to get into her pants like you two do. I'm different, and I think it's about time that she's noticed that and stopped wishing you guys would change."

As he pulled on his jeans, James watched him, anger singeing his nerve endings. He was right. Ed would never hurt Lily; it wasn't in him. He was a great guy. But he was also right about Lily. He could see it in her eyes every time that she looked at them. She did wish they would change. Maybe not completely- he did know she loved them- but she did wish they were different . . . more mature.

"Just . . . be careful," James breathed, his hazel eyes darkening as he glared into Ed's blue ones.

"You should be careful too," he replied tugging on a pair of boots and grabbing a scarf and jacket.

Sirius and James watched Ed as he left the room, his golden hair like a comet as he disappeared behind the door.

"I love her," Sirius whispered, thinking of the hot-tempered girl with the hair to match.

"I love her too, man," James whispered, her green eyes and freckles making him smile.

"We'll lose her someday," Sirius sighed, "we're dicks."

Turning around and grabbing the Invisibility cloak from underneath his pillow, he turned to Sirius. "Well, we better get to the kitchens or we'll lose the other two."

Sirius nodded and they headed down the same way Ed had taken.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Sunny asked as Lily appeared once again in the common room, this time clad in a heavy sweater and jeans, instead of in her bathrobe.

"Out," she replied winding her scarf around her neck and tucking some escaped strands of hair back into her hat.

"By yourself?"

"With a friend," she answered before Edgar grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the common room.

"What's up with her?" Skye asked as Edgar whisked Lily out of the common room.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked as he lay across the three girls, his head on Sunny's lap and his legs across Fly's.

"She was so . . . clipped. She didn't even give anything away. She was secretive, and I've never seen her like that, ever!"

"Maybe she's having a bad day or something?" Fly replied, pulling off her hat and letting her hair bounce around her head in messy waves.

"Maybe she's still pissed about her fight with James?"

"Have you guys even bothered to ask? Or even notice?"

"We've noticed, but we also know Lily. And when she wants to talk about something, she'll tell us. If not she won't. That's just the way she is, and we're not going to press her." Fly explained, knotting her hair away from her face.

Skye sighed, pushing the curls away from her face and looked into the fire.

"She just seems sad, is all. And you would think that you two would notice and at least bring up the situation. I know even if I didn't want to talk about it, it'd still be nice to know that my friends cared enough to bring it up."

"Skye," Remus groaned as she maneuvered her body to get out of her seat from beneath him.

"I'm just going to hang up my coat and see if Jordy or Vee are doing anything tonight. Gia has a date with Andrew."

"Ok."

Exiting the common room, Sunny sighed and scratched Moony's head, who had a sated grin on his face.

"So what do you think about the situation?" Peter, who was lying on the floor beside the couch asked.

"I don't know," Fly groaned, "ever since her fight with James, both of them have been really reserve. He's now been hanging with Skye and she hasn't been hanging with us. And then whenever we want to do something, its like we can't invite her or we'll hurt Potter. Or we can't invite Potter or we'll hurt Lils. And all I want to do is shout at them: 'Mommy, Daddy, stop fighting!'"

"Yeah, although they fight incessantly, it still is so hard to be around both of them without wanting to knock some sense into them." Remus added.

"Well, why don't we do that?" Pete asked, his blue eyes gazing at the ceiling.

"Do what?"

"Knock some sense into them. We can have an intervention explaining to them how we feel and how they're fighting only breaks up the group."

"We could get them to call a truce! We could make them sign a contract!" Sunny grinned looking down at the reverent Peter.

"Exactly, but we've got to do it soon. The holidays are coming up, and I don't want Lily to be a Scrooge. She already hates going back home and having to deal with Petunia." Fly agreed.

"So, we're in agreement?" Remus said.

"Agreement about what?" James asked as he and Sirius came upon the foursome, both of their arms piled with snacks and hot apple cider.

"In agreement that Professor McGonagall is off her rocker if she wants us to write that paper during the Christmas holidays." Fly saved.

"I don't know," he thought, "I finished it already. It was sort of fun."

"It's only fun because you're the best at Transfiguration. You just want to snub it in everyone's faces." Sunny scowled.

"Where's Skye?"

"Going to change out of her coat. She said she'd be back in a moment, she's talking to Jordan and Venus."

"So, who wants apple cider?"

"Not me actually."

"Nor me." Fly grinned.

"Me either." Remus replied.

"Not in the mood." Pete waved away the boys.

Their faces fell as Sunny, Fly, Remus and Peter engaged in a conversation, animatedly speaking amongst one another.

"Hey you guys, we risked our asses to get yous guys these drinks from the kitchens, you could at least pretend to want some." Sirius groaned, settling everything down on the coffee table before them.

"We're just shitting ya'." Fly grinned grabbing a steaming mug and brought it to her lips.

Only seconds after all four of them had taken a sip of the filling drink, they all sprouted feathers and busted into flames before returning back to their normal appearances.

"Dick," Sunny groaned, putting down the mug. "How am I going to trust the rest of this crap?"

"Don't worry, we only bewitched that stuff. Everything else is fine, and so is the cider after the first sip."

Rolling her eyes, Sunny began nibbling at an éclair.

* * *

Tap, tap, tap.

Alice Cooper was serenading her as she lay in her bed.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Brown Sugar, why do you taste so good-?" Mick Jaggar screamed into the mike.

Tap, tap, Tap.

The tapping grew more insistent until she finally pulled herself from the dream and groaned in reality.

"What?" she groaned, pushing a tuft of hair from her face.

Sitting up, she ripped open the hangings on her bed to find Noctem rasping at the closed window and Sunny and Fly's bed abandoned.

Climbing out of her bed, she trudged over to the window and unlatched it. Noctem flew in from the cold and Lily re-attached the window.

"Do I have a letter?" she asked as the ebony owl rested itself on her four-poster and stretched out a foot for Lily to take the letter.

"Shut up Lily," Millie groaned from her bed, her head drowning in a sea of pillows.

Pulling the letter from her leg, Lily unfurled the rolled notebook paper and read Petunia's impeccable cursive.

Dear Lillian,

Well, I guess you'll be hearing about this in a couple of days, but I won't be spending Christmas at home with the family. Mum, Da and I have discussed this thoroughly, and we've agreed that it's best. They don't want me to be uncomfortable, and I'm pretty sure that you don't want that either. I'll be home for New Years and we can go to that party at Kelly's (hopefully we won't get as wasted as last time and we can sneak in without Mum and Da knowing, or Douggie will take us in)! But I will not be there for Christmas dinner, I'll be spending it will Marge (that bitch) and her family (Kiera's coming too). So, write me back. I'm sure Mum and Da will be sending you the letter soon.

Sincerely,  
Petunia Evans

Lily stared at the letter in disbelief. Her own sister wasn't spending Christmas at home with the family, and was instead opting to spend it with girls that she hated. And that left Lily all alone with her parents.

Groaning, she threw on a hoodie and some pajama pants and gathered her toiletries for the lavatory.

Trudging down the abandoned staircase to the Great hall, she stumbled to the Gryffindor table to find all her friends, excluding James, huddled at the end of the table with their heads together.

As soon as she came upon them, their conversation halted and they all looked up at her expectantly.

"Hey guys, what are you guys talking about?"

"We're not talking about anything," Peter gave her a blank look.

Sunny whacked him in the head and smiled to Lily, "Nothing important, so what's up."

"Well, Tuny just wrote me saying-"

"That's sad, Tiger," Sirius interjected, "but I have to go; will anyone else join me?" he asked looking at the rest of the group.

"I will," Sunny jumped up following Sirius out of the doorway.

"Me too." Fly mimicked.

"We'll go too." Remus pulled Peter up by the forearms, and following the other three.

She sighed as she plopped herself down on the seat and began ripping pieces from a nearby bagel. Picking up a knife, she spread on some hummus, and chugged down some pumpkin juice.

"Hey Lily, what's up?" Ieva asked, sitting beside the lonely girl.

Ieva was one of the few Muggle kids that Lily identified with. They'd met after the incident first year, and had been good friends ever since.

Ieva was beautiful. She had long, straight blonde hair with a few strands of blue low-lights. Her eyes were wide and blue, her nose long and straight, and her lips pouty and pink. She was tall and thin- an Arian goddess. Hitler would have no problem with her (except the fact that her country welcomed the Jews).

"Nothing, just stuffing my face in depression. I don't even like hummus." She groaned, pulling another piece from her bagel.

"You're in a rut too?"

"I've been in a rut for a few weeks now. It's not a rut anymore, it's a home."

"Rut sweet rut, can't you just imagine that needle pointed on a pillow?"

"Yeah, right next to: Friends, the gift that keeps on leaving." She rolled her eyes.

"What's up, I thought you guys were stuck like glue?"

"I don't know, but it has something to do with Potter; it's always something to do with Potter."

"You guys haven't made up yet?"

"Do you see any of them here? I think I've got the plague from how quickly they seem to scatter away from me whenever I appear. It makes me sick."

"Hmm, why don't you make up?"

"Because it's us. What's the use of making up if in three seconds we're going to start biting off one another's heads again?"

"Yeah . . . why don't we have a Muggle night?"

"A What?"

"A Muggle night. We'll spend the night being all that is Muggle! We'll paint our toenails, listen to records, watch movies, eat Muggle food, talk about Muggle boys, and just be Muggle teenagers for one night."

Her face brightened at the prospect of being a normal teenager just for one night. For one night to be completely careless, to have to only worry about Muggle things like homework and getting to the party tomorrow night.

"Sure. I'll go to the library and look for spells to play Muggle movies. But what about the food? I've got a few things, like Snickers bars and chocolate, but nothing else. My parents are already paranoid by all the cavities I've had. They won't send me any more junk food."

Ieva grinned.

"Well, I've got stuff. Chips, soda, frozen pizza, and even salsa! My Mum sends a care package every month, and it's not like I eat like a pig, so we've got enough to stuff our faces for at least a couple of nights."

"Great. So I'll meet you back here in a couple of hours?"

"Ok."

"Wait, whose dorm are we going to sleep in?"

"Well, yours is filled with your friends, who you're not too happy with right now. And there are a few more Muggles in Ravenclaw, I could invite Jenn Lynn, Catherine Orville and Denise Cheevy. And then all my roommates would go to someone else's dorm and that way, we'd have some fun. And maybe some of them will have food too. I'm really craving some French Onion dip."

"Sure." She didn't know the other girls, but didn't mind just getting away from everything she did know . . . or at least thought she once did.

"Ok, well I'll round up the troops, and we'll get back to one another in two hours."

"Ok," Lily smiled lifting herself from her seat and left the Great Hall.

Pulling her hair in a messy knot, she gathered her things in a knapsack and got ready for her night with the girls.

Millie sat on the bed asking her questions about the Muggle night.

"So you guys are going to eat 'chips'?"

"Yeah."

"What are chips?"

"Not fries, but American chips. They're cut potatoes, fried in fat and seasoned. They're great!"

"Why do you want to eat that?"

"It's good to fill yourself up with total filth. To absorb all that processed food into your body . . . you could almost feel the cancerous tumor growing inside of you."

"That's sick." Millie groaned.

"What's sick?" Sunny asked being followed in by Skye and Fly.

"I just came up with a disgustingly, morbid black joke. It was sick, and made me want to throw up just thinking about it."

"Then why did you say it?" Skye asked, a braid falling over her shoulder.

"Because it's true. It's sick stuff, but great. You die early when you eat it, but at least you die happy," she shrugged.

"So, where are you going?"

"Oh, Ieva and I are having a girl night with a couple of the girls from Ravenclaw."

"Oh," Sunny's voice fell. "Well, have fun."

"I will." She grinned putting her toiletries in the knapsack, along with her collections of records. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Ok," Fly replied, before blurting, "You're taking your records?"

"Yeah, we need some music. It's going to be so cool. I checked out some books and found some really cool spells. We're doing face masks, getting massages, manicures, pedicures, the works! I need this."

"Well, we'll see you."

"Bye guys," Lily grinned pulling the knapsack on her back and retreating towards the Ravenclaw common room.

* * *

"So, you've been getting really chummy with my sister?" Sunny asked plopping down on James's lap.

"Ow, Sunny, you're heavy!" he growled trying to arrange himself in a more comfortable manner.

"Thanks a lot James," she admonished with a frown on her face. "If I suddenly start throwing up in the loo after each meal it'll be all your fault!"

"But then you'll get to jump on me any time you want!"

"And hopefully impale you with my surprisingly sharp elbows." She grinned elbowing him.

"They're already sharp; you don't need to claim bulimia in order to impale me with them."

Rolling her eyes she leaned back on his chest, "So like I said before, you've been getting really chummy with my sister."

"She's easy to talk to."

"Hmm, that she is. But if you try anything or hurt her, I swear to Merlin I will get every guy I've ever met to come and kick your ass."

"What makes you think I'll try something?"

"I've met you before," she turned to him with a suspicious brow. "Don't hurt her."

"Don't worry, I won't."

* * *

"What are you doing up this late?" the Fat Lady at the portrait asked.

"I forgot something in my dorm. Can I just go in and get it?"

"Password?"

"Dribblecup."

"Every time I hear it, I feel sick. Who came up with this one anyway?"

"The Marauders, who else?" she rolled her eyes as the portrait swung open.

As soon as she stepped inside the common room, she felt like an intruder.

Sitting on the couch in front of the hearth were Skye and James, huddled together, engaged in an animated conversation. As soon as they heard the portrait door slam shut, their eyes jumped to her shocked figure, standing still, staring at them.

"Hey, Lily, how's the chick night going?" Skye asked her with that beautiful, compassionate, sweet smile of hers.

"I'm sorry," she whispered looking down. "I didn't mean to interrupt you guys. Uh, I just have to get something and I'll be out of your hairs."

"Lil-" James began his hand flying to his hair.

Before she could hear the rest of the comment, she dashed for the girls' dormitory, intent on not embarrassing herself anymore.

When she exited, she didn't even wait for their acknowledgement before hurtled out of the room as if the devil were chasing her.

Rounding the corner she slumped against the cold, stone walls and tried to capture her breath. Things weren't supposed to be this way. Her friends were supposed to be hers. They were supposed to want to hang out with her instead of with their little sister. The guys were supposed to be with her . . . he was supposed to be in love with her. . .

They shouldn't have to choose.

TBC . . .

A/N: hoped you liked this chapter. A few notes, sorry about the cancer remark, but that's how I feel. They pump all these chemicals into our food and then are surprised when we get cancer. That's why Americans get more cancer than any other country; it's all the crap we eat, all the processed food and imitations. If we just prepared our own food and stopped relying on the easy stuff, maybe things would be better.

And about the wasted comment: I don't drink, and I don't condone drinking, but not everyone is as innocent as they seem, and the same can be said for Lily. She's got some bad traits, along with some good ones. I'd rather her drink than to do drugs. But don't get me wrong. She's not a drunk and only does it for recreation, she's still a teenager. She's aloud to make stupid mistakes, just as long as she doesn't hurt anyone in the process (that's what I believe anyway).

w/ luv, Yo-yo


	12. Painting Lesson

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo  
  
Disclaimer: C chappie #1.  
  
Chapter 12- Painting Lesson:  
  
"I learned the truth at seventeen . . . that love was meant for beauty queens . . ."  
  
The record softly sang in the background as she snuggled deeper in the mass of pillows and blankets she'd cocooned herself in. She had conjured a bright blue fire and placed it near her feet, keeping the biting cold from nipping at her toes.  
  
For the past two nights, instead of staying in the dormitory where she was sure to run into Sunny and Fly who'd been avoiding her and Skye and James who seemed to have been attached at the hip, she had opted for sleeping beneath the winking stars on the highest Astronomy tower. The idea seemed ideal at first, until the crisp fall air wrapped around her body and chilled her insides- hence the mass of blankets and pillows.  
  
In their classes she'd avoided them by sitting next to Ed and after classes she spent her time in the library or the perfects' bathroom swimming.  
  
Sighing softly, she watched as her warm breath rose in the cold air mingling and disappearing into wisps. As she watched the pieces of her essence float away she returned her gaze to the loopy script of her mother on purple scented stationary.  
  
Her parents had sent her the letter by owl post that morning, and she'd waited all day to open it, afraid of what its contents might reveal.  
  
She ran her trembling fingers over her mother's girlish handwriting, picturing her Susan Evans writing the letter. She imagined her leaning over the letter, her long brown hair gently brushing the paper and her lips gently chewing on the pen, leaving small smears of her lipstick. Her black eyes would twinkle animatedly as she thought of something to say and her lips would curve into that beautiful smile. And her long, beautiful fingers curled over the pen, as they did over a piano, soft and delicate as she placed her thoughts into words, thinking of her youngest daughter.  
  
Slowly unfurling the letter, she wished she were at home, in both her parents arms, relaying to them about her friends and how she felt when they abandoned her. With a lump in her throat and tears threatening to escape her tear ducts, she read:  
  
Dear Lillian,  
  
We've not heard from you in many days, are you ok, Sweety?  
  
Your father and I were discussing the Winter Holidays and came up with a great idea! We'd like to invite all your friends (Sunny, Delia, Moony, James, Sirius, and Peter and their families) to spend an informal Muggle Christmas at our house! We'll have pizza, chips and dip . . . everything so that we can eat with our hands. We'll invite Douggie from across the street . . . We'll sing carols, watch movies and exchange presents, it'll be fantastic! It'll be the perfect time for us to meet your friends and their families, and for them to get a taste of Muggle life and not look at us as ignorant beings.  
  
But along with the magic of this holiday party, there's also some compromise. When we posed the idea to your sister, she was against it. We had several conversations about it, and in the end we decided she could spend the holiday with some of her friends so she wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in her own home. I told her to write you a letter, I'm not sure if you've received it yet, but although we'd rather her spend Christmas with us, we'll respect her decision.  
  
So, would you please ask your friends please, and we can't wait to see you home!  
  
With Love,  
Your darling parents Aaron and Susan Evans XOXOXO  
  
Pushing back her curls, a flood of tears erupted, and she lay back and dropped the letter from her hands. Her Mum wanted to invite her friends . . . the friends she wasn't sure she had anymore.  
  
~***~  
  
When she woke up, she found a gently sprinkling of snow dusting everything around her. Her head pounded as she noticed the soaked letter with washy ink stains on the bleeding purple paper.  
  
Glancing at her wrist, she decided it was time to get ready for class and climbed out of the warm cocoon, shivering in the morning air.  
  
~***~  
  
"Good morning Lily," Sunny tried as Lily trudged into the dormitory, heading to her made bed and grabbing some clothes and her toiletries.  
  
Lily inaudibly grumbled back and exited the room, getting ready for class. When she returned, Sunny was gone, as were her other three room mates.  
  
Stumbling down the staircase, she entered the Great hall, grabbed a muffin and a few strips of bacon and exited, heading straight for her first class.  
  
~***~  
  
"Was that Lily?" James asked watching the retreating back stumble out of the room.  
  
"Yeah," Fly nodded with knitted brows, gazing at her broken friend.  
  
"What's with her?" Peter asked, glancing at James before following their gazes.  
  
"She doesn't hang out with us anymore. She doesn't even attempt to speak to us. This morning she just groaned and left the room." Sunny frowned, her eyes darkening with tears.  
  
"Don't cry now," Sirius frowned, grabbing her by the shoulders. "We've got to speak to her. She doesn't even look at us anymore, did something happen?"  
  
"No." Sunny and Fly shook their heads.  
  
"Maybe." James replied simultaneously.  
  
"Maybe?" everyone else asked, looking at him curiously.  
  
"That night, well, three nights ago . . . the night after the leaf fight, well she was coming back late into the dormitory and she found Skye and me on the couch-"  
  
"Making out?" Sunny asked, her eyes darkening for another reason.  
  
"No! No . . . just talking," he held up his hands, as if revealing his innocence. "But she freaked out. We tried to explain, but she ran away. And when she came back out of her dorm, she just hurtled out like a bat out of hell! I think she got the wrong idea."  
  
"You think?!" Sunny groaned, looking at him.  
  
"Don't get upset, it's not my fault."  
  
"She thinks we're replacing her with Skye. I mean, we have been hanging out with her a lot." Remus concluded.  
  
"Correction, James has been hanging out with her a lot. We're just trying to include her so she doesn't feel like an outsider." Sirius stated.  
  
"Why have you been hanging out with her?" Fly asked, taking off her glasses.  
  
"She's easy to talk to." He shrugged.  
  
"And easy on the eyes too." Sirius grinned.  
  
"That's my sister you're talking about," Sunny frowned, punching him in the arm.  
  
"Do you like her?" Pete asked, taking a bite of bacon.  
  
"Look guys, when I figure out how I feel about Skye, you'll be the first to know. But as for now, back off. You're applying a lot of unneeded pressure."  
  
"Are you trying to make Lily jealous?" Remus asked.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Because that would be a really cruel joke on both girls." Sirius said seriously.  
  
"And we would so beat your ass!" Fly growled.  
  
"So, we need to talk to her," Sunny said.  
  
"When?"  
  
"As soon as possible. The look in her eyes as of lately makes me sad."  
  
~***~  
  
They stared into one another's eyes, determined frowns on one another's faces.  
  
He'd dressed to accommodate her. For the last couple of weeks she'd insisted on him wearing his grungiest clothes, that way he wouldn't have to worry about getting messy.  
  
Tonight, he'd finally relented and had shrugged on a gray t-shirt with faded print and tattered jeans that he usually wore to Quiddich practice.  
  
Ruffling back his black locks, he looked back at her. She wasn't dressed-up either. She was wearing a ¾ length yellow t-shirt and splattered overalls. Her hair was pulled into two plaits at the side of her head, with a handkerchief tying her curls away from her face. She wore no make-up as she grinned at him, a plastic jar in her hands.  
  
"Ok, let's start."  
  
Handing him a brush and a palette, Skye smiled as she faced the empty canvass.  
  
"Paint what you feel."  
  
"What if I don't know what I feel?"  
  
"Then paint the indifference, the confusion, the vulnerability."  
  
"And how do I paint that?"  
  
"I don't know, you just got to put it on the canvass, and display to me what you feel."  
  
"What if I'm bad at it?"  
  
"You're good at everything you do, so what can make this any different?"  
  
"The fact that my pre-school teacher couldn't understand my finger- painting."  
  
"I don't think any pre-school teacher can understand any kids finger- painting. It's just an exercise they use when they need a fag break." [A/N: fag meaning cigarette]  
  
"Ok."  
  
He grabbed the brush from her hands and approached the canvass with apprehension. He'd never done something like this before. He'd never put onto canvass what he felt deep within. Hell, he'd never put into words those feelings that dwelled deep within him.  
  
He pressed a tube of red paint onto the palette and smeared it onto the brush. With hesitance, he swiped the paint across the canvass, thus, letting go the first of his soul.  
  
With a burst of inspiration, he dipped his brush into purple, and soon an image began to appear beneath his fingers, coating the blank canvass in unbridled, raw emotion.  
  
"It was beautiful," she grinned slouching down into the overstuffed couch as she stared into the paint splattered picture.  
  
"What was beautiful, the tasty view of my ass you gazed at all night?" he chuckled, his breathing labored as he finally sat down, exhausted.  
  
She raised a brow,  
  
"That too, but watching you paint." She shrugged. "The way your arms moved, and your back clenched, and your body erupted in an emotional trance. It was like poetry never written on paper. A song never sung from the soul. A photograph never captured on film."  
  
"How do you do that?" he exclaimed, turning to face her.  
  
"How do I do what?"  
  
"Turn everything you do to a work of art. You talk in stanzas, think in paintings, feel with song. You aren't like anyone I've ever met. You're so different . . . so unaffected . . . so new."  
  
"Awww," she sang, batting her eyelashes playfully, "Jamsie is getting all girly. I so have blackmail on you!"  
  
"Hey," he groaned, a small smile betraying him. "I'm trying to be sentimental and thoughtful here and you're raining on my parade!"  
  
"Without confetti and fireworks, it isn't a parade."  
  
"Well, I could whip up some confetti and fireworks, but I supposed those that are asleep wouldn't enjoy it too well."  
  
"Which is why you don't attempt it, Marauder." She poked him in the chest.  
  
It was at the moment when Lily slipped into the common room, undetected by the two on the davenport.  
  
When she spotted them sitting there, totally enveloped in themselves, her body paralyzed and her eyes couldn't help see the intimacy that surrounded them. The way that their fingers touched, instantly, only lingering for a second as if torn between their want to hold one another, and their need to pull apart. The way that their eyes twinkled, just for one another. The way that they smiled, their lips parted, and their laughs were careless . . .  
  
Pushing her orange curls from her face, as stealthily as she could, she made her way to the dormitory doors, trying to ignore the sound of Skye's giggles.  
  
When she returned, she had escaped the door just as Skye and James had leaned closer and brushed their lips against one another.  
  
Tears welled in her eyes as she watched them . . . she would never have that.  
  
TBC . . .  
  
A/N: Sorry to take so long, I keep contemplating a new story, but I keep thinking that there are not that many hours in a day and not that many stories I could keep whizzing around my head like volleyballs without going insane. But then keep in mind that it just might end up that way where I just start another fic. I've already come up with a title and some characters, but I'm not sure.  
  
Linda, update your reviews, I know you haven't read yet! And everyone else, thanks for your support, I definitely can't do this without you.  
  
w/ luv, Yo-yo 


	13. Dee's Plea

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo  
  
Disclaimer: C chappie #1.  
  
Chapter 13- Dee's Plea:  
  
Saturday morning, her limbs felt heavy and her head was achy as she trudged down the staircase towards Gryffindor tower. She barely noticed the other students totally immersed in their own worlds as they chatted animatedly down the hall towards the Great Hall. Instead, she pondered over the fate of her relationship with her "friends."  
  
She hadn't slept in the dormitory in over a week. She, Sunny and Fly had barely spoken. On her end were only grunts and waves. James wouldn't glance her way and she in turn wouldn't glance his. She'd spent her time with Ed, Millie, Allie and Frank.  
  
Although they were good companions and okay to hang around, they still weren't hers- her friends, anyway. They were associates, comrades . . . and although she hated to admit it, they were only replacements.  
  
Sighing, she pulled her gray sweater closer to her frame and muttered the password to the Fat Lady.  
  
Upon entering the common room, she scurried as fast as she could to the girls' dormitory, hoping she wouldn't be spotted. She knew if she were, her disheveled appearance wouldn't go unnoticed and someone would suspect something sordid.  
  
When she finally flung open the door to her dorm, she was surprised to find Sunny sitting cross legged on Lily's still-made bed with a wand in her hand and a determined look clouding in her stormy gray eyes.  
  
"Where's-?"  
  
"Petrificius Totalus!" Sunny roared, pointing her wand at Lily.  
  
In an instant, Lily's extremities snapped together, paralyzing Lily and causing her to flop to the floor where pillows had been strategically placed.  
  
"I'm sorry Lils," Sunny frowned; her eyes round as she pointed her wand again and levitated Lily off the ground. "I'm sorry it had to be this way, but it did."  
  
Cautiously, Sunny led Lily's petrified body back down the girls' staircase, through the common room, up the boys' staircase and into a room that she knew well.  
  
In the room, she placed Lily upright next to James on his bed. The way his back remained rigid and his eyes skittered about, she inferred he too had been paralyzed.  
  
"Guys," Fly began.  
  
Lily's eyes grew round as for the first time since she'd known Fly, she saw weakness.  
  
Delia Flynn stood before her friends with her back hunched forward. She had laced her fingers together, wringing them in apprehension as she lifted her shoulders and seemed to shrink within herself. Her brown hair fell over her face as a thick curtain, hiding her from everyone as she searched for the words. For the first time, Delia was small . . . tiny.  
  
"Look, for the past two weeks, things have been pretty fucked up. Everything's so tense and no one's talking to one another. I hate not hanging with you, Lily," she said looking up into Lily's emerald eyes. "I love you so much and I hate that I can't go to you when I feel afraid, or small or anxious about Quidditch or boys or life. I hate that you can't come to me when you need me. I hate that you're pushing me away and not even giving a valid reason.  
  
"I don't have a mother, Lily. I've never had a mother. She died when I was born. All my life, all I've ever had was Dad, Phil, Ben and Kerry. I'd never had any girlfriends until you and Sunny. And no one has ever meant so much to me since you two. I know that I'm not good at being girly, and I haven't gotten the whole make-up and hair and attitude down pact, and most of all I know I haven't gotten down the whole sharing my feelings deal . . . but I thought you both understood how much you mean to me?  
  
"You guys are my best friends in the world. Even when everything goes wrong in my life I know that you guys won't . . . or that was at least what I used to think. When I couldn't talk to Kerry, Phil, Ben, Dad or the Marauders about . . . things, you guys I knew would always be there for me. I never had to worry about who would be there for me, I never had to doubt who would be there to pick up the pieces when my heart broke, I never had to think twice about who would wallow with me in triple chocolate ice cream. You guys were my family. I could count on you and I would give my life for either of you.  
  
"But these past two weeks have been pure hell! I haven't seen you, no one's happy anymore. I go to sleep at night wondering if you're okay, if you're with Ieva, if you've even been talking to anyone. I worry if it's something to do with your family or us. I keep wondering is it because of James that you're upset or did we do anything?  
  
"We're not replacing you," she whispered, lifting her head, her eyes meeting Lily's. "I love you so much, and I wish you would try to understand. We're not replacing you. You used to love Skye . . . it shouldn't matter if she's dating him, I thought you were different from this- above it."  
  
Her voice had intensified and her teary eyes grew hard with anger. She'd returned back to Fly . . . her anger out stripping her sadness.  
  
Sirius lifted himself from his seat and wrapped his arms around Fly protectively.  
  
"Lily, James, you guys are our family and we would never wish anything to happen to you guys. But you guys need to realize, your stupid fighting hurts us too. We want . . . no need you two to have a truce. It's been hell not being with you guys, and we'd rather you guys get over it."  
  
Sirius's blue eyes grew hard as he said the next part, "Lily if you don't really like James, then why are you being such a bitch to him? And James, if you really cared about her like you've been trying to convince her for the past three years, then you would respect her and talk to her so she wouldn't feel threatened every time she sees you doing something stupid. And I don't think you've done anything wrong by Skye, but be sure that what you're doing is true . . . don't fuck around with her."  
  
With the wave of the wand, Lily and James's body's relaxed and they found they could move their limbs again.  
  
"I've really missed you," Sunny nodded, a tear running a path that had been well defined by the myriad preceding it.  
  
Without even a word, Lily launched herself at Fly and wrapped her arms tightly around her, a wave of emotion rolling down her spine causing her to tremble as the tears burst free from her closed lids and displayed every emotion she had omitted to show them for two weeks.  
  
Soon Sunny's arms were around both of them and their heads were together as they whispered remorseful words and tried to convey what they truly meant.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Lily bawled, "I was so stupid to think that you guys would ever leave me for Skye."  
  
"You were," Sunny laughed, pressing a kiss to her temple, "You know I would totally ditch my own sister for you!"  
  
Breaking away from them, she turned to James who seemed to be gazing deeply into the palm of his hand.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
He looked up, nodded, and then returned his gaze to his hand.  
  
TBC . . .  
  
A/N: I'M SO SORRY that this chapter is so short, but I really needed to post something and this is the farthest I could get. I'm a little blocked mentally, so I'm trying, but this chapter is really just . . . not my best. Its way too girly and . . . I just . . . I'm gunna' try.  
  
w/ luv, Yo-yo 


	14. Truce

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo  
  
Disclaimer: C chappie #1.  
  
Chapter 14- Truce:  
  
"Rosy, two butterbeers please?" James waved his arms amidst the throng of Hogwarts students taking a breather from their holiday shopping.  
  
"Be right over," Rosemerta called nodding to both James and Lily.  
  
Random topics flitted through her brain as she removed her coat and fit it over the back of her chair.  
  
"You look good," James nodded as she sat down, noting her green sweater, fitted jeans and ruffled hair.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"I like your hair the way it is," he said, letting his eyes flow down the downpour of red and vermillion hair, "but I like it better curly."  
  
Her eyes flickered at his words, and suddenly, anger reddened her pale cheeks.  
  
"You have no right!" she whispered, her eyes alight with green flames, flickering and singeing the hairs on the back of his neck.  
  
"Lil-," James began, but was interrupted by Rosy as she set the butterbeers on the table.  
  
"Hey guys, glad to see you two finally got together," she grinned, shaking her long, dark brown hair away from her face, catching the light almost flawlessly.  
  
"That's funny," Lily smiled darkly, "and we're not together."  
  
"Still fighting, huh?" she laughed, pulling the tray behind her back, her brown eyes twinkling with amusement.  
  
"Always fighting," James groaned, pushing off his own coat and pushing back his hair.  
  
"Perpetually fighting," Lily reciprocated his groan, slouching in her seat.  
  
"You guys should really take care of that," she reached out and pulled a curl away from Lily's eye. "So, how is the rest of the gang?"  
  
"Fine," Lily replied.  
  
"The hell if she knows," James retorted.  
  
"How's Delia, still obsessed with Quidditch?"  
  
They both raised a brow to her, signifying a stupid question.  
  
"Remus?"  
  
"Great," Lily whispered, "and hopelessly in love."  
  
"And Sirius?"  
  
"Same."  
  
"Pete?"  
  
"He's got a new baby sister. Her name is April." James stated.  
  
"Sunny?"  
  
"Her younger sister, Skye, is dating Romeo here." Lily smirked callously.  
  
"What, jealous?" he turned his eyes towards her, hazel flames licking her insides.  
  
"Of what, having to gouge my eyes out every time I see your face, or is it brushing my teeth every time I have to kiss you?"  
  
"You weren't saying that that night after the-" he began but cut himself off.  
  
"I said forget it, didn't I?" she snapped, "And believe me, Crest's stock did go up after that night. You don't know how many times I had to brush my teeth to get the taste of you from my mouth or how close I was to puking out my entire existence."  
  
"Hey, hey you two," Rosy intervened, holding her tray between them, obstructing their vision of the one another. "Get over it. So you two hate each other . . . you're totally bringing down the vibe in the rest of the bar."  
  
When Rosemerta removed the tray, Lily's eyes were maneuvered towards the door, ignoring him and the conversations going on around her. Her eyes had turned glassy, the light reflecting off the watery irises, illuminating them sadly. She sucked in her cheeks, revealing her cheekbones and pursed lips, while her fingers wove themselves together, clamping together.  
  
"I'll leave you two to talk." Rosy nodded, heading towards another patron.  
  
For ten whole minutes, they sat in silence. Lily's eyes were concentrated towards the door where snowflakes danced past the frosted windows, lying upon millions of preceding snowflakes. James's eyes had fell onto his hands, tracing the scar he'd gotten from the last Quidditch practice with his eyes.  
  
It was the first practice he'd allowed Skye to attend, and he spent the entire time trying to not make a fool of himself, and in the end, he narrowly missed a Bludger and whacked his hand against the goal post, thoroughly succeeding in hurting his hand. For the rest of the night, she sat next to him in his dormitory, cradling his injured hand and whispering little stories to him in the dark.  
  
He was torn.  
  
From the first time he'd seen Lily, he'd known that she was somehow to be interwoven into his life. It'd taken him until fourth year to realize how and why. And it had taken her until . . . not yet to realize how much she actually meant to him. And now, after he'd woven through most of the girls at Hogwarts, hoping to prove himself wrong- to prove that Lily didn't mean as much to him as he'd perceived- now, he'd actually succeeded in proving himself wrong . . . maybe.  
  
Skye was perfect. She was innocent and sweet. She liked to laugh, and dance and sing and do everything . . . even if she was bad at it, which she usually was. She liked to paint late at night, when everyone else was asleep. She liked to listen to old music, sometimes dancing with herself when she thought no one was around. She didn't mind getting dirty doing the things that amused her . . . but sometimes he found her a little young . . . not in age, but in . . . experience. She was naïve.  
  
And Lily was vibrant. She wasn't Skye, but that wasn't bad. Lily liked to watch the sunset on the highest Astronomy tower. She liked to swim in the lake with the mer-people and Giant Squid. She liked to dance to her Muggle records, singing along with the Beatles, Van Morrison, the Monkeys or The Rolling Stones. She lived her life in disarray but thrived on order. She enveloped herself around everything that she loved and never let anyone down. She was . . . Lily.  
  
"Look, Lily, we didn't come here to yell."  
  
"We don't have to come here for a specific reason, we're going to always end up fighting."  
  
"Well then, why don't we break the cycle? Stop fighting before it gets too heated for once?"  
  
"And how do you suppose we do that?" she turned to look at him, her emerald eyes darkening to an almost black.  
  
"I don't know," he threw up his arms, "hold a civil conversation . . . a neutral conversation. One that doesn't bring up old battle wounds, ones that don't cause us to jump down one another's throats. Just something other than what we've been arguing over. Frankly, I'm tired of the fighting . . . we need to resolve this, if not for each other, for our friends."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"When did you start getting so smart?"  
  
"I've always been smart; it's just taken until now for you to realize it."  
  
"Yeah," she rolled her eyes. "Great comeback."  
  
"Ok," he sighed, "I guess I'll start. How's the family?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"So, are you going home for the holidays?"  
  
"Yeah," she looked over at him. "In fact . . . in fact . . ." she looked away.  
  
It was on the tip of her taste buds to tell him about the invitation, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell him. Maybe she was jealous of Skye? Maybe that was the reason she was being such a bitch? Maybe she really did want him?  
  
She shook her head at her last thought, finally thinking herself preposterous. She reached out for her butterbeer and took a long gulp before saying,  
  
"Are you going away for the holidays- to your parents I mean?"  
  
"I'm staying here, is everything okay at home?" he asked leaning forward, his voice almost a whisper.  
  
She barely heard him when she nodded her head and waved his concern away.  
  
"No, nothing . . . everything's fine at home," she babbled, "Well, except for Petunia. But there's always a problem with Tuny . . . she isn't going to be at Christmas supper. She's going to spend it with her friends . . . it'll be the first time . . ."  
  
"How do you feel about that?" he asked, noticing the way her fingers played with the handle of the mug.  
  
She shrugged, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. She tried to hide the frown threatening to turn down her features, but couldn't stop the wave of emotion from spilling out in the open.  
  
In moments, James was beside her, an arm wrapped around her shoulders.  
  
"Hey, its ok-"  
  
"No it isn't James, nothings okay anymore. Nothing makes any sense. My sister hates that I'm a witch but . . . I didn't think she'd ever do that. And then this entire situation with Sunny, Fly and you guys . . . Everything used to be so easy, our friendship used to make so much sense. And then all this happened and I don't know what I'm thinking anymore. I don't even know why I got so upset at the thought of you and Skye. I'm sorry that I've made things so difficult . . . I didn't mean to sabotage your relationship with her. I like Skye, I didn't mean to . . . God, why am I such a ditz?  
  
"And then . . . and now I'm crying on your shoulder making you act as though I wasn't a total asshole to you and that I didn't do mean things for no good reason. Why do you do this?"  
  
"Do what?" he asked brushing away a tear from her face.  
  
"Why are you so nice to me when I'm so mean to you? It can't be because you like me because I don't really like myself right now, so you should especially not like me."  
  
"Because you're a good person beneath all your confusion."  
  
"God, I think that's one of the things that infuriate me the most about you?"  
  
"What, that I give you compliments?"  
  
"No . . . yes. That I can treat you so bad and be so malicious, and yet you still stay by my side. And it's not okay, James. It's never okay for you to do that to me. Why don't you just slap me when I'm being a bitch . . . or tell me off? Why in the hell do you take it? And then you try to make me feel better, and I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't but you do anyway . . . and it makes me hate you more- well, not hate- but makes me hate the situation I put you in and hate the way you react to it. Do you sympathize for me, is that why you're so nice?"  
  
"No, it's because . . . because . . ." he turned his eyes from hers, thinking back to all the arguments they'd ever had and all the looks she'd ever given him.  
  
"Because I do the same thing to you. We both play evil off of one another. You're a bitch to me; I'm a bastard to you. You press my buttons, I press yours back. You make me jealous; I try to make you jealous. It's always been this way . . . and I don't like the fact that I make you cry. When I hold you and stuff, I think it's an admission that I know I caused those tears, and I hate myself for what I've done, but I hate you for making me do it. I . . . we bring out the worst in one another . . . and the best too."  
  
"That's a pretty rocky road to try and build a friendship off of," she sniffled, looking away as she wiped her eyes.  
  
"But we can try, anything's possible." He smiled when she faced him again.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, we're smiling and talking civilly to one another right now . . . who woulda' thunk it?"  
  
"So, are we calling a truce?"  
  
She nodded amicably, "Truce."  
  
She reached out and took his hand, pumping it for an extra measure and both nodded a silent agreement.  
  
Placing a kiss to her forehead, James took a seat at the stool in front of her again.  
  
"So, uh, are you going to spend the holidays with your parents?"  
  
"You ask that before, and no." he smiled sadly.  
  
It was then that she grew shocked. Ever since she'd known James he'd spent the holidays with his parents. He and Sirius would chatter about it for days until they finally got on the scarlet train and set on their journey home. When they got back they'd talk about it for days, inside jokes would be between those two, and the rest of the group could just imagine what each quip meant.  
  
"Why?" she gasped, her eyes growing wide.  
  
"It just didn't fit, my parents didn't want us going out for the holidays, they thought it'd be best if we stayed here."  
  
"But you guys have been looking forward to the holidays with your parents all year. I usually look forward to hearing about it afterward. You guys love it."  
  
"Yeah, well, we can't." he sighed, looking away.  
  
"Why not," she whispered, noticing the way his face closed up, freezing his expression.  
  
"Because . . ."  
  
"If we're going to be friends, we should be honest with one another." She tried.  
  
"You can't do that . . ." he sighed, pushing his hair away from his forehead.  
  
"Do what?" she asked innocently.  
  
"You can't try that on me. I'm not supposed to tell you, so just let it be."  
  
"C'mon, are we all dying tomorrow or something?"  
  
His hazel eyes grew wide, and his eyes opened a fraction.  
  
She reacted to his reaction and stared into his eyes, "We're going to die?" she breathed.  
  
"No," he looked away.  
  
"But-" she began.  
  
"Look, I'll tell you, but you have to promise to not tell anyone, even Sunny, Fly or Skye. No one can know, and you'll seriously be in deep shit if anyone else finds out, and not just from me . . . a lot of people higher than me."  
  
She nodded and leaned forward to his words.  
  
"It all started . . ."  
  
TBC . . .  
  
A/N: I hope you guys like this chapter, e-mail or review when you can (I'm hoping sooner than later) and tell me what you think about how it turned. I know I left you dangling on a Sequoia and all, but yeah, I didn't know how to keep going, but I'll figure it out. Linda, update your reviews, along with everyone else, I do know that you guys exist, and I'm thankful because you guys tell me how horrible or how good a writer you think I am, and help me to be better.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to the entire Hammen Family, I hope you're all in a better place. We all love and miss you.  
  
w/ luv, Yo-yo 


	15. Restarting

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo  
  
Disclaimer: C chappie #1.  
  
Chapter 15- Restarting:  
  
"Did you guys get everything sorted?" Skye asked, grabbing his hand and placing a chaste kiss to his cheek.  
  
James nodded and shot Lily a shy glance. The tips of her ears were red as he ruffled back his hair and replied,  
  
"We decided to call a truce, for the kids."  
  
"Great," Sirius exclaimed, going James a playful shove.  
  
Lily checked the urge to smile at his bashful grin and looked away. A lump formed in her throat at the realization that it was Skye who put such a beautiful expression on his face, with only a simple glance.  
  
She remembered their arguments when her clipped tone and seething rage had caused him to blush red. His face screwed in a lopsided, confused smile and a blush rose from the collar of his shirt, up his throat, past his cheeks, up to his ears and finally into his hair, where she couldn't distinguish the rush of blood any longer.  
  
Why hadn't she noticed his whimsical expression then?  
  
She knew the answer; because she always let her anger take over. Because she always let things get to her. Because she didn't think, she didn't care . . . she only reacted, damn the ramifications.  
  
Because she was too in love with him to see past the hate.  
  
Shaking the thought from her head, she lifted herself, disrupting the conversation that she was too self-absorbed to take notice existed.  
  
"Tiger, where are you going?" Sirius removed his arm from around Sunny and brought it to her.  
  
"Actually, I've still got some shopping to do, so I'm going to head out."  
  
"Yeah," Sunny nodded. "I actually have to get a damned gift for my stupid sister. God, I wished she didn't exist."  
  
"Shut up," Skye punched Sunny in the arm.  
  
"Hey, watch it, I bruise easily." She scowled, punching her sister back.  
  
"You're stupid easily, too." She retorted, with a menacing smile on her beautiful face.  
  
"Well you're ugly easily."  
  
"Great comeback, dumbass." Skye rolled her eyes, gently bumping James with her shoulder.  
  
"I didn't want to make it too complicated; the fifth year mind is very slow."  
  
"Anyways, if I gave you a few Galleons, do you think you could get a gift for Pinkie*?"  
  
"Why can't you?" Sunny groaned, forgetting their brief banter. She didn't want to pick out another gift for the fickle eight-year-old.  
  
"Because James and I are headed towards the 'Hallow.' Plus, you know what she likes better than me."  
  
"A curse for being so stylish," Sunny sighed, holding out her hand to receive the golden coins.  
  
Skye and Fly rolled their eyes and whispered comments beneath their breaths.  
  
"Are we ready?" Moony asked, placing his head at the small of Sunny's back, almost intimately and guiding her out of the bar.  
  
Peter, Lily, Fly and Sirius followed, two of them with matching smiles.  
  
For half an hour they shopped. When they ran out of money they stumbled back up to Hogwarts in uninhibited mirth.  
  
"Hey Lil, are you staying up with us?" Peter asked while wrestling Sirius for the seat closest to the fire.  
  
She shook her head and let out a mammoth yawn. "The train leaves early tomorrow. I'm just going to tuck in. I'll make sure to find you guys tomorrow morning before I leave."  
  
The gang nodded as she made her way up the staircase, briefly stopping to peer out the window and wonder if James and Skye were coming up the hill.  
  
As she pulled the covers over herself later that night, she wondered why she hadn't told her friends about the invitation. Or why she felt out of her element as they stomped through Hogsmeade, something she'd never felt before.  
  
Closing her eyes, she shifted over to her side and remembered the feel of James breath on her ear as he leaned closer to her, revealing a secret he had yet to reveal to anyone in his life.  
  
"It started a few months ago. My Dad is an Auror, you know that, right?"  
  
She breathed in and out, controlling her breathing. She didn't want him to know how much his nearness affected her.  
  
She nodded slowly, her eyes trained towards the window, watching the snow tumble past the clouded windows.  
  
"Yea."  
  
"Well," he nodded, his lips slightly brushing against her ear. "A few months ago, my father and most of the Auror department had been reassigned to something that my mother found."  
  
"What?"  
  
Her words came out in a breath as her eyes fluttered close and he shifted his chair closer to her.  
  
"All across the world, there's something brewing. She noticed that there were little bouts of Dark Arts being practiced in inconspicuous amounts, but were starting to get more serious. She spoke of this to Dumbledore and after weeks of research, they found the occurrences not so isolated and very much organized."  
  
"What did she find?"  
  
"A wizard," he breathed, his lips fluttering past her ear, gently brushing against it as he spoke to her.  
  
"A wizard?"  
  
"They do not know what he is called yet, but they know he is spreading the Dark Arts and is recruiting the dregs of the Magical world. There have been no incidents in the U.K. or America, but there is only a matter of time. All they know is that the guild calls themselves the 'Death Eaters.'"  
  
Her eyes opened wide, her green orbs absorbing the information and the reality set in. She turned her face to him, their lips almost meeting.  
  
"That doesn't sound good."  
  
"It isn't," he whispered, something stirring behind his eyes.  
  
For many long moments, their gazes held. It was as if his hazel eyes had wrapped themselves around her, pulling her towards him, making it impossible for her to escape.  
  
Her breathing had slowed dramatically, so that she felt as if she weren't alive any longer. She didn't feel part of her body, part of her person. His eyes had consumed her and all that existed were the hazel orbs that seemed to promise her the world. His being seemed to embrace her, touch her, caress her. She could suddenly feel his fingertips flittering across her softened skin . . . softened just for him. She could feel his lips on her, she could feel his body against her, and she never wanted to pull away.  
  
The moment remained for what she had wished was years, and soon he reached up and placed a finger to her brow, replacing a strand of flyaway hair. His eyes shifted to her brow, and he leaned himself forward, pressing a kiss to her.  
  
"Be safe."  
  
He eyes had drawn close at the feel of his lips to her skin. The sun exploded behind her eyelids and her something began to stir in her stomach. Before she could catch herself, he moved away . . . her entire being screamed for him again, for his touch, for his kisses.  
  
He'd pushed himself away from her, sitting back in his stool which he had moved further back, his eyes checking his watch. He didn't look back at her, but she knew he could feel her nod to him, comprehending him.  
  
It was only a minute later when the rest of the gang walked in laughing, and she and James put on amicable smiles.  
  
Pulling the comforter to her shin, she wondered what would have happened if he hadn't been dating Skye. If they weren't so explosive.  
  
He would have probably ducked his head and captured her lips. He would have wrapped her in his warmth, making her body lift to his touch, to his feel. He would have made her feel the way she had that night, when Remus changed, when she couldn't suppress her need for him any longer.  
  
~***~  
  
"You ready to go?" Sunny asked, watching as Lily meticulously placed her pressed clothes into an overnight bag. She didn't have much to carry, since most of her clothes stayed at home anyway.  
  
"Sure," she nodded, not looking up.  
  
They had gone back to the way things were before, yet she did not feel the same way. She loved her friends, and would never change their situation, but it was as if they were starting over, awkward and overly sensitive.  
  
"I wanted to give you something. Your Christmas gift." She smiled, a smile lightening her mocha features, and a curl dropping down in front of her eyes, not managing to cover the knowing smirk.  
  
"Don't you want me to open it on Christmas?"  
  
"Not really. I bought it for you when we were going through that thing, and I wanted you to have it, well now. Even though we're back, I know you're still sad."  
  
"It's not your fault-" she began.  
  
"I know, you're just a little down, and I want to cheer you up."  
  
With that, Sunny produced a small package from behind her back and slipped out the room before Lily could object.  
  
Sighing, she pushed her curls from her forehead, trying not to think of the night before when James had pressed his lips there.  
  
Gently she undid the golden bow and pried open the wrapped box. Unfolding the newspaper, her breath caught and she stumbled onto her bed. Before she uncovered the entire gift, she saw the golden chain and instantly knew what it was. Beneath the green and red pieces of paper, there was a golden ring on a golden chain, with an onyx stone decorating the top. On the inside the ring the inscription read, "Je t'aime."  
  
Suddenly, she was brought back in second year. Her legs were pulled up to her stomach and she was swimming in something she was sure no one would understand. The gang had tried to comfort her, but nothing could quell the sorrow that wrapped around her and constricted her movements.  
  
She had lost her grandmother's engagement ring.  
  
The one she wore around her neck, the one her mother had given her the Christmas of her first year, hoping it would ease the anxiety of going back.  
  
Grandplum had died the year before she'd started Hogwarts. Before, she had lived with the family, needing to be closely monitored. She was a schizophrenic. The disease had revealed itself during the years of the war when her husband had gone to fight. And when he never came back, Aaron committed his mother. For years before and after his marriage to Susan, he'd taken on the burden of paying for Sunview Psychiatric Center. But after Petunia was born and with Lily on the way, the financial burden proved enormous and they took her in; she was heavily medicated.  
  
Although she'd always known that Grandplum was not okay, that didn't stop her weary movements and her childlike speech from capturing her heart, and tugging at her heartstrings. She remembered all the nights they'd sat up, the rain their soundtrack as they colored together. She remembered the way Grandplum would read to her, each of the words enraptured her, pulling her into the story, and feeling every emotion spilled from the page. She would burst into tears if someone died, even early on. She would laugh at the jokes, even if they weren't funny. She would fawn over the ugly duckling that was transformed to a swan. She was a child, in mind and in spirit. She was everything. . .  
  
And Lily had lost the engagement ring.  
  
She'd tried as many locating spells that she could obtain, but nothing could find the only piece of jewelry she needed . . . the only piece she cherished.  
  
Back to her seat on the bed, she touched the ring with her index finger, afraid she'd break it with a touch.  
  
There was a small card beneath the ring, written in Sunny's handwriting:  
  
It took a long time, and a lot of manpower, but we found it. -With love, The Gang  
  
Taking a moment to attach the necklace around her neck, she dashed down the staircase and hurtled into her friends, wrapping her arms around them and pressing kisses to everyone.  
  
"I love you guys so much," she whispered, into their ears, tears tumbling down her eyes.  
  
"We love you too." They whispered back, pressing kisses for her too.  
  
They followed her to the train station. And bid her farewell. The entire way home, she cried, remembering the invitations she'd never told them about.  
  
TBC. . .  
  
A/N: Hey you guys, its back. I sort of like this chapter. The end sounds like fill-in shit, but it's still pretty good. Well, actually that's your decision. Update please, and I'm trying to update as soon as possible. Linda, this is your prom present, so be grateful.  
  
P.A/N: *Pinkie is the next addition to the Benoire family. She, so far is their youngest sister. I'm planning on their being four Benoire girls. Seeing as how it's so hard to come up with their names, you're just going to have to wait for it when it comes up. Pinkie's real name is Rose, which is pink in French, so her nickname is Pinkie. I don't know if she'll be actually in the fic or just her name. Well, stay tuned. And R&R.  
  
W/ luv, Yo-yo 


	16. Home

Llef ylil yhw -By Yo-yo  
  
Disclaimer: C chappie #1.  
  
Chapter 16- Home:  
  
"I'm bored, what do you want to do?" Sunny groaned, settling herself on Remus's lap.  
  
With an innocent hand, he pulled her closer and shifted her in a more comfortable position. When they were situated, he turned to Sirius,  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
Sirius shrugged and turned to Fly,  
  
"What is there to do? You're usually here during the holidays."  
  
Fly rolled her eyes and stretched out in front of the fireplace like a lazy cat.  
  
"When Phil, Kerry and Ben were still here, every night we'd make up themes and have festivities. Like a themed dance night, chess tournaments and pin-the-tail-on-Peeves games, but that was when there were more than twelve people staying. I'm bored."  
  
"It's sad," Skye placed her head on James's shoulder. "The holidays started an hour ago, and we're already bored."  
  
"We could head up to Hogsmeade, get some hot chocolate?" Remus offered.  
  
"Broke," Sunny shook her head.  
  
"When is your Mum getting you guys?" James asked, fingering Skye's curl.  
  
"Tomorrow morning at ten."  
  
"And then they'll be four."  
  
"Oh, I can't wait," Fly groaned, "Christmas with you blokes."  
  
"Why don't you go home, then?"  
  
"For one, it's too late. And two, Ben is in Calcutta, Phil is spending the holidays with Amy, his new girlfriend, and both Kerry and my dad have to work."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Both Adam Flynn and Thomas Potter were Aurors, and Kerry was an Auror- in-training.  
  
"We could have a snow ball fight?" Skye asked.  
  
"Too cold, plus, I got detention last night for tracking in water." Sirius groaned.  
  
"Guys," Remus groaned. "We're supposed to be the most popular people here at Hogwarts ... our brilliant minds should be able to come up with more than snow ball fights and hot chocolate."  
  
Suddenly a grin slithered its way up James's face and twinkled in his eye.  
  
"How do you guys feel about something illegal?"  
  
"How illegal?" Fly frowned, never liking his mischievous grin.  
  
"Just if we get caught, maybe detention and a few points each taken off Gryffindor tower?"  
  
After a few moments thought, Sunny shrugged, "I don't mind. We could always make up the points."  
  
"Me either," Fly sent a suspicious glare to James.  
  
"Well, as a Marauder, its pretty much a consensus that whatever sounds illegal must be done, so I answer for both Remus and I?"  
  
Remus shrugged, "No skin off my back."  
  
James looked down at Skye, "You're the only one left."  
  
"Sure whatever, so much for my fight against peer pressure," she shrugged.  
  
"So what were you pondering?" Sunny asked.  
  
"Turning the Perfects' lavatory into a hot tub," he grinned, turning to Remus, the only one among them who knew the Perfect passwords.  
  
Remus groaned and glared at his best friend.  
  
"So when you mean 'we' getting caught, you mean me?"  
  
"One for all," James grinned. "So, what about it?"  
  
"I'm sealing the door, and if we do get caught, I swear, I am taking you all down with me, in the most humiliating ways possible."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll conjure the charm myself and I'll bring ol' Invisy, just in case."  
  
"You named your cloak?" Fly's incredulous look caused Sirius to burst into a guffaw. "Seriously, you're a puff. Skye, watch out for him."  
  
"I will," Skye rolled her eyes and sent James a look. "My own little puffball."  
  
He stuck out his tongue at her before standing and pulling her from her seat. They separated to get ready for the converted hot tub and ten minutes later they all stood in the Common waiting for Sunny who'd forgotten her towel in her room.  
  
"Ready," she breathed heavily as she stopped at the end of the staircase. "Let's go."  
  
As a group they wandered down the corridors, save for the occasional painting and moving suit of armor, keeping quiet and close. They remained vigilant of a lurking Filch who wouldn't approve of such a large group wandering towards the Perfects' lavatory, much less a mixed group.  
  
"Hanukkah." Remus whispered, in front of the tall wooden door with brass knocker. "It was Ravenclaw's turn to make a password, and Jessica Gold was feeling a little left out," he explained ushering them in as soon as possible.  
  
As soon as the door shut behind them, James pointed his wand at the door and was just about to place the Imperturbable Charm on it when Sirius called,  
  
"Wait, not yet."  
  
"Why not?" James groaned. "The quicker I do this, the more likely Moony doesn't get caught."  
  
"Here, here." Remus frowned.  
  
"Just hand over the Invisibility Cloak and I'll contact you through the mirror, so keep it close by. I'll be back you guys."  
  
As the Perfects' door closed behind him, they could hear his voice mutter, "I swear I am up to no good."  
  
"What do you think is going on?" Sunny asked.  
  
Potter shrugged and placed the Imperturbable Charm on the door.  
  
The lavatory had flooded with light as they'd entered and it wasn't until that moment that they'd all gotten a good glimpse into the most beautiful lavatory in the castle.  
  
The walls were flawless ivory, with little carvings around the borders that Sunny just couldn't help but let her fingers touch. Beautiful statues were scattered around the room of mermaids, fish and other marine animals. Some spit water from their mouths back into the water as if they were imitating fountains. In the middle of the room sat a gargantuan pool that could more than fit the six. Around the pool were little taps with different colored knobs.  
  
Behind them Remus threw a few switches and the water began to bubble and soon steam lifted from the rippling water and waft around the room. The girls had not seen the room before and their eyes twinkled in wonder.  
  
In moments they removed their clothes and slipped into the pool, James beside Skye, Sunny next to Remus and Fly waiting for Sirius. They sat on the inner rim of the pool that acted as a seat, something James knew about; otherwise he wouldn't have suggested this excursion.  
  
As soon as the warmth enveloped around them, their heads lolled back and rested on the feathery pillows that had materialized after Remus had turned on one of the switches.  
  
"Hmmahenmmeffnn," a muffled sound broke the silent comfort they'd all been consumed in half an hour later.  
  
James blindly reached out and flipped the tiny mirror open.  
  
"Hey James, open up," Sirius's voice whispered.  
  
Without opening his eyes, James positioned his wand in the general direction of the door and muttered the counter curse. When he heard the door shut behind Sirius, he activated it again, getting a cry of upheaval from Sirius who'd been nearly maimed by the ribbon of magic.  
  
"What did you do?" Sunny asked, cracking open an eye.  
  
"I went to The Three Broomsticks and got some Butterbeer, Snap Dragon Champagne and Firewhiskey; along with a few treats."  
  
This brought smiles on their faces.  
  
For the rest of the night they basked in the comfortable warmth of the bubbling water and giggled from the slightly heady feeling of the alcohol.  
  
It wasn't until very late that night when they finally decided to get out of the water, after all their fingers had long ago been declared bon-a- fied prunes.  
  
As Sirius toweled himself dry, he didn't keep his mind from taking a look at the other girls, knowing nothing would ever come of it. It wasn't the first time they'd been together in only their bathing suits. What he didn't count on was his reaction when his eyes settled on the girl he'd known his whole life.  
  
Fly pulled herself up from the water, and pulled her towel up to her face.  
  
He couldn't check the urge that rippled through his body, making it quake slightly as his eyes drank her in. His eyes slithering smoothly over the round curves of her hips, down her shapely legs and arched beautifully with her foot. His eyes traveled up her perpetually brown skin and stopped a few seconds on her chest. The bathing suit she wore was fairly modest considering her insecurities, but the two toned one-piece didn't detract at all from her athletic limbs. It pulled his eyes towards her flat stomach, her buxom chest and firm calves and thighs. Her dark hair was pulled up at the top of her head to escape the water, but a few strands stuck to the back of her neck, and curled in the way that her hair sometimes did.  
  
He was so consumed in watching her, that he didn't notice the waves of lust rolling through him and causing a stirring in his nether regions until it was too late.  
  
"Bollocks," he groaned underneath his breath.  
  
Turning away from her, he tried to think of something that would cause his ... to deflate and therefore not embarrass him amongst his friends ... and the girl that caused this in the first place.  
  
After concentrating solely on Snape and his grey, holey briefs, his body relaxed and he rose to his feet, immediately throwing on his clothes and stumbling out of the room, leaving the rest behind.

* * *

It felt as if it'd been years since she'd sank beneath the downy quilt and filled her nostrils with the familiar scents of home. It wasn't as if Hogwarts was bad, but it lacked that certain ... she didn't know the proper word for it, but she knew the Great Hall didn't smell of cinnamon and honey from her mother's pastries. And the lavatories didn't smell of her father's aftershave. The corridors didn't smell of the rose petal pillows Tuny left on her doorknob where she'd needle pointed: Lily, stay out! And the snow didn't smell of youth.  
  
Hogwarts just wasn't ... home.  
  
She opened her eyes slowly, smiling involuntarily as she stretched languorously. Ruffling back the tangled mess of curls, she sat up on her arms and looked around her room. A small chuckle escaped her lips as her thoughts reminded her of all the stupid things she'd done in this very room.  
  
There was that one time last summer when she and Tuny had stumbled into the house at two am, piss drunk. They couldn't find a good medium between being the greatest spies in the world and laughing at Douggie's nude outburst. Rounding sharp corners, and trying to figure out where the steps were located in pitch-dark, Lily wondered how Tuny could be so smashed and still so- neat. She'd hissed admonishments at least three times a minute, making sure everything was in its rightful place. It was so hilarious how they could be so together that night, and the next morning they were screaming at one another because they'd both passed out on Lily's bed and had woken up each with feet in their faces.  
  
Then there was that one time when Lily was six and harbored and illegal pet for two days in her room until-  
  
"Lillian Evans, get your butt down here!" her mother's voice rang from below. "We have way too much to do."  
  
God, she did hate the holidays. Everyday was spent cleaning, cooking, and helping someone for some occasion or some important family. Namely no one really but Nana and Aunt Jo.  
  
Groaning, she gave up the warmth of her comforter and pulled herself out of bed. Later, after being showered and changed, Lily bounded down the staircase, not quite so ready to begin the day.  
  
"How was your night?" her mother had asked glancing away from the meat she was getting ready to marinade.  
  
She shrugged and yawned.  
  
"After Douggie's I just hunkered off to bed, something it felt like I hadn't done since summer."  
  
"Well don't worry," Tuny's voice called from the sitting room, "You won't be doing it again all holiday."  
  
"And neither will you, if I have everything to do with it."  
  
"You guys are hopeless," Susan rolled her eyes while chopping garlic.  
  
TBC ...  
  
A/N: Hey guys, I hope you like this one. I know, it's been forever since I've put up another chapter. But this one is out, so watch out. I'm going to be away for five weeks, and I don't know how much typing I'll get done. But I'm going to try. I love doing this.  
  
w/ luv, Yo-yo 


	17. Mazes

Llef ylil yhw

-By Yo-yo

Disclaimer: C chappie #1.

Chapter 17- Mazes:

He was in a maze; that he could discern. Walls of thick, green foliage reached well beyond his head and cut through the blue sky. Below him his feet disappeared beneath the plush, carpet of grass that seemed to be inviting him to take a rest and abandon the quest, but he knew he couldn't. There was something that compelled him to keep going, to reach the end, to get the reward.

He didn't know what he was doing there, but he knew that he'd lost the rest of the Marauders a loooooooong time ago. He didn't fret over the loss of companionship, he was pretty sure he'd meet up with them at the end.

What he definitely knew was that he was cheating. He wasn't blowing holes through the vegetation as he should have, but he was definitely getting help from outside sources. It seemed that every time he pushed back the hair from tumbling over his eyes, a camouflaged hand would poke itself out from the brush and point him –hopefully- in the right direction.

He wandered around for a few more minutes, wondering what the hell he was doing in a maze anyway? Who came up with the bright idea? He didn't really care, he just wanted to leave, and mazes were never his thing.

As he moved closer towards the middle, his body seemed to find its own way through the brush. He raised his hands less to his disheveled hair and relied more on his instincts to lead him past the indistinguishable turns. He was being led by something he could not name, but something he trusted far beyond the "Helping Hands." It was not his brain, for he knew the workings of that organ, but it was something else. Something that lived deeper within him, something that he had never … felt before.

And then he came across a clearing. Not A clearing, THE clearing. Because before him, she sat. On a cement bench. Her body leaning over, not looking up as a diminutive Snitch flew around her head like a winged halo, casting an aura relative to sunlight around her being. She looked almost celestial as he sucked in a breath and made himself walk over to her and lean over her oblivious form.

It wasn't until his fingertips grazed her skin that she looked up. Her large eyes engulfed him. Taking him in wholly, they wrapped around him, bringing him closer as she lifted herself from her seat, never taking her eyes away. They did not speak as his lips descended down to hers and she lifted herself up, pressing their lips against one another, pressing their hearts against one another.

* * *

He snuggled deeper within the cocoon of warmth while trying to find a comfortable piece of floor to lay his back. He shifted once, twice, before opening his eyes and realizing he was too conscious to be comfortable and there was no way he was getting back to sleep.

Groaning softly, he sat himself up, leaning against the couch where Skye slept.

After the sojourn to the Perfects' lavatory they took refuge in the Common room. There was a calm vitality that they seemed to share after the salving soak. As they lay around the plush furniture, they passed around the bottle of Snap Dragon Champagne and talked until the wee hours of the morn, just as the dawn began to crawl above the horizon and poke its head up. And now everyone lay on any available surface, trying to catch as much sleep as possible, while darting the sun's rays.

Looking around, he only spotted four other heads. He knew who was missing, the one who was missing last night from the conversation:

Sirius.

Something was wrong with Sirius, he'd dashed out of the lavatory before everyone had gone and they had not seen hide nor hair of him since they'd gotten back…

* * *

Wait, what the hell was going on? He was having an out of body experience. Literally, he was standing outside of his body, wondering where this had come from. Wondering where… and how his lips became a vacuum, attached to the most least likely?

The couple before him- his outer body… his inner body… his… he and her-finally pulled apart. Her hair still within his fingers, so that the messy curls tumbled from his fingers like crushed silk, finding their crumpled place beside their sister hairs, catching her light and glowing. Their foreheads pressed against one another and their eyes intertwined… not their eyes, but what was just behind their eyes, that something he recognized that had guided him through the unfamiliar woodland… it was… their souls?

And suddenly, he was awake.

His body trying to recapture his breath that seemed to elude him. It escaped his grasp and he found himself jumping from the bed and rushing to the bathroom to throw water on his face.

"…wsksingDlalnn…" he sputtered, disbelief bathing his entire being. "IwaskissingDeliaFlynn…" he stared at himself in the mirror, his blue eyes wide, unseeing. "IWASKISSINGDELIAFLYNN!!!!!!"

* * *

"What was that?" Fly groaned, pushing a curl from her forehead and sitting up from her cocoon on one of the squishy couches.

"Sounded like Sirius," James shrugged, just hearing the yells of anguish also.

"Well, tell him to shut up," she groaned, throwing the covers over her head and rolling back to sleep.

He looked down at the watch clicking lightly on his wrist. Pushing back his black curls, he sighed. It was eight. Breakfast was just starting and Mme. Benoire was coming in to collect Skye and Sunny at ten.

Rising from his seat beside the couch, he pulled the blanket he wore tighter around himself and leaned over Skye.

"Hey, wake up." He shook her softly. "Wakey, wakey."

"Go away," she groaned, covering her head with the pillow, trying to escape the light.

"You need to wake up, your Mum is coming in two hours."

"Why are you yelling?" she waved an arm out, trying to swat him away.

"I'm not yelling," he lowered his voice, knowing she was awake from the way she responded to him. "It's called a hangover. You're going to feel like shit this morning. And that's why you shouldn't have drunk so much last night, especially for your first time."

"Coulda', shoulda', woulda'," she frowned, turning to glare at him for a moment. "Well I did, so what can I do to get rid of this?"

"Be happy that you're a witch, I've got some pills in my room. C'mon, let's get up and send you to the lavatory. When you've done washing up, and maybe puked, I'll give you some medicine."

"But I don't wanna," Skye groaned as he pulled her by the arm up from her cave of sheets.

"Shut up Skye," Sunny yelled from her own spot in the Common.

"WAKE UP!" Skye screeched, successfully waking Sunny, Remus and Fly.

"Bitch, why'd you do that?" Fly glared, pushing back her curls.

"Because its time for you guys to get up." James said, pushing Skye towards her dorm and giving a pointed look to the other three.

* * *

James munched on a piece of bacon as he listened to Skye.

"…and then Pinky got upset and…"

His mind wandered and his eyes settled on Sirius and Fly. They were talking about Quidditch; he could hear snippets of their conversation. But the most interesting bit had nothing to do with their conversation, but the body language.

Sirius sat in front of her, his back hunched over and his hands in his lap. He looked pre-occupied. He was half listening to the conversation and half staring. There was something about his look. Something…

"-James, are you listening?" Skye rolled her eyes. "I swear, boys are hopeless."

"I'm sorry, Skye," he shook his head, "What were you saying?"

"It's ten, and my mom should be here. I'm going to grab my things, do you want to help?"

"Sure," he dumped his napkin on the table and stood up.

They were making their way out of the door when they heard the flapping of wings.

"James, you got mail," Sunny called, taking a lavender envelope from an owl above her.

Their world became mute as the owls fluttered down and they all received matching envelopes (well, except for Skye). Silence overtook them as they each opened the letters and suddenly,

Gasp.

* * *

"I'm bored," Lily yelled from her place on the couch.

"Well get your lazy butt off the couch and go do something." Susan called.

"There's nothing to do."

"There's gotta' be something."

Lily sighed, pushing back her curly hair and made her way towards the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"You're getting ready to poison Tuny so that you can have your favorite daughter to yourself?" Lily shrugged.

"Something like that," Susan smiled, "It's called cooking in other countries."

"Whatever," Lily sighed, "Can I help?"

"I don't know, can you?"

"You're not funny," she rolled her eyes and grabbed the chopping board and a knife. Susan placed celery on it and Lily began to chop.

Save for the sounds of sauces simmering in their respective pots and Susan rinsing the ingredients for her famous potato salad, an eerie silence had enveloped them. Susan snuck glances at her daughter as she quietly fulfilled her job requirement.

"What are you thinking about?"

She shrugged, pushing aside the cut vegetable and straightening the next to be cut.

"Is this about a boy?"

"God mom," she frowned, turning. "Why is it every time that Tuny and I have a problem you and dad immediately equate it with boy trouble?"

"Because you guys are teenagers, and usually it is boy trouble."

"You guys can be such losers," she rolled her eyes.

"So you admit you have a problem?"

"Maybe," she pouted.

"What is it about?"

"Stupid boys," she murmured.

"We are such losers," Susan smiled, returning to her cleaning.

"It's not boy trouble, it's about stupid boys… completely different."

"Do I know this 'stupid boy'?"

Lily didn't respond, but instead resumed in chopping.

"Ok, so we'll keep names confidential, so what makes him a 'stupid boy'?"

"You can stop with the air quotes," Lily frowned again.

"Sorry, you're cranky today! Maybe you need a nap, that seemed to help when you were little-"

"And still scuttling around in my diapers."

"All I'm saying is that it helped," Susan shrugged with a smile. "So, does this boy go to your school?"

"Yea…"

Susan didn't respond but rather let Lily go at her own pace. She needed to feel comfortable telling her mother about mature subjects. Susan knew from her own experiences as a teenager that telling a parent about relationships was particularly hard.

"We can never get along. We fight, then we're friends. We fight, then we're friends. It's a vicious cycle that never seems to remedy itself. We've tried to be civil to one another, but everything he does annoys the hell out of me and vice versa. We share the same friends so it puts a strain on the relationship and on our friends. And then, God, we got into this major fight just a few weeks ago and things just… they're not fitting together as they used to. My relationship with my friends is still strained… and then… then… I was just a bitch towards his girlfriend. I was a really bad person, Mom. And I couldn't help it. I'm so mean and he's so nice sometimes… and he tastes so good…"

Lily's eyes glazed over as she pictured him in her head and she laid down her knife. She wasn't smiling, but rather a tear tumbled down her cheek and was brushed away by hands that smelled of lavender before they could fall from her.

"So you like this boy, I take it?"

"No," Lily mumbled, "and you will strike those last couple of sentences from the record."

"Lily," Susan grinned, brushing away the fresh tears. "There's nothing wrong with liking him. When Aaron and I first met… it was like fire and oil. He and I couldn't agree on anything. When we were together, everything was electric-"

"Dad, you're talking about? My Dad? The nerdy, skinny guy who lets you brush his hair in the morning and who lives for bread and stinky cheese?"

"That would be him," Susan laughed, "and he isn't nerdy. Well anyways, one weekend Nana invited some patrons of the Flowery to a barbeque. So your dad shows up with his friends, and they all brought dates. These tacky women that didn't have very good reputations. Nana had contracted me out to be a server. So an employee, Arabella Figg, and I walked around passing out food and drinks. So I had to go back into the supply closets for more cups. When I opened the door I found your father making out with some girl… and that was the moment. We both exploded at one another, getting kicked out of the barbeque and unfortunately telling each other how we truly felt about one another. The words just fell out…we were both shouting and suddenly, 'I love you,' came out. And then suddenly we were making out… your dad tastes good too."

"Ewww," Lily laughed and cried at the same time. "My mom and dad were making out."

"If you think that's gross…" Susan winked, "Think of what it took to have Petunia and you."

"Oh Mom, that's- and after all this time you've had me lying," Lily admonished. "I've sworn up and down that my parents were still virgins! You're supposed to save yourself for God! I'm so disappointed in you."

Susan laughed out loud and hit Lily on the head with a carrot stick,

"You're unbelievable."

Two hours later Susan was buzzing around the house, trying to put things in order for the guests.

"…I don't' know why you're running around like a chicken with its head cut off… it's only Nana and Aunt Jo."

"And your friends, don't forget," her mother flew past, placing the centerpiece on the dining room table.

"Mom, I have to talk to you about that," she looked down.

"What is it-"

"Susan, where is my tie?"

"Which tie?"

"The black one with the-"

Ding, dong.

"Lily, can you get that?" her parents yelled simultaneously from their respective places in the house.

"Sure," she groaned, pushing back her flaming red hair and heading towards the door.

"They're definitely meant for one another," she groaned opening the door. "Hi Nan-"

Gasp.

TBC…

A/N:I'm sorry this took so long. I'm trying. Next is the Christmas chapter. Well anyways, Linda, does the brownie offer still stand?

w/ luv,

Yo-yo


	18. Meeting Santa

Llef ylil yhw

-By Yo-yo

Disclaimer:C chappie #1.

A/N:Gosh, took all summer and a lot long to write, but I got it out. Sorry these are taking so much time, but don't worry they'll be coming until the story's either done or I say I'm done with it. I have a lot of fun writing these. This one I especially liked writing Susan, she's a fun mom, and I wished my mom was like her. And there wasn't much of her Dad in this one, but he's a fun character too. And hopefully this ends the feuds of the group… but it probably wont. What's life without conflict? I think that's called a coma. Well anyways. Read and review please. I hope I haven't lost all of my readers to my slow output. I know I lost my Linda, I'm sorry Linda, u were loyal and I failed you. Same goes for everyone who read me. I loved your reviews and I loved to hear what you had to say. I'm sorry this took so long. R&R Please. ULTIMATE ROWING!

Chapter 18- Meeting Santa:

"Hi Nan-ta! Santa!"

Her eyes dances as the larger than life character stood in her doorway, his eyes twinkling down at her as she grinned up at him.

"I knew you were real! Mum and Tuny tried to convince me, but I never stopped believing in you. Put coal in Mum's stocking, she's a liar!"

"Ho, ho, ho!" His round belly shook.

"This is so cool!" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Being significantly taller than she, when he embraced her, her feet lifted off the ground. Settling her back down, he leaned to her height and asked,

"What do you want for Christmas little girl? You're on my good list, you know?"

"Can I please have…" her eyes began to twinkle and her long red eyelashes batted innocently, "Joe Perry in nothing except a bow tie strategically placed around his… neck?"

Santa's eyes grew wide as he pulled himself upright, a pained look on his face.

"Well little girl, I dunno-"

"Mum, Douggie's here!"

Lily's voice called through the house, ushering him in and shutting the door.

"Wait?" Douggie threw off the red stocking cap and itchy beard. "How'd you know it was me?"

"Well, firstly, Santa's eyes are blue, not green. Secondly, you're my best friend; I think I'd know you from Chris. Thirdly… well I can play a better Santa than you. You've got the whole 'ho, ho, ho' thing all wrong. It should be guttural, deep from within the diaphragm. And you should put some feeling into-"

"Douggie," Susan wrapped her arms around him, not before thrusting her apron at her daughter. "What are you doing here so early? And dressed like that?"

"I'm going to surprise my Mum and Dad at the hospital with dinner. So I was wondering, is the traditional Christmas dinner already done?" he gave her one of those classic Douggie expressions… where those brilliant green eyes of his goes wide and the pouty frown mars his handsome face. One of the expressions that Lily knew her Mum- nor any woman really- could deny.

"Yea, in fact we're starting on the mini-quiches. I'll go pack up a dinner for them both." She gave a watery smile, and then turned to Lily to grab her apron and pinch her arm.

"Ow Mum, what was that for!"

"You guys would never do something like that for me."

"That's because you're always here!" she pinched her mother back. "If you'd just leave for awhile we could feel the aching need for our Mum and we'd do something special for you. It's your fault really."

"See how they treat me… I'm getting new children tomorrow," she stuck her tongue at Lily. "See who's gunna feel an 'aching need' for their Mum when they're sitting on their bums I the bloody cold on Christmas day?" Susan stalked into the kitchen, leaving them behind.

"She's gunna be 'aching' when she finds out she can only get hungry orphans on Christmas day," Lily rolled her eyes and pushed back her hair. "She'll get bloody Oliver Twist, 'I want some 'ore.' She'll go hungry feeding that one. Go ahead, get new kids," she mumbled.

"Oh, and Lily," Susan stuck her head through the door. "Did you remind Mrs. Pettigrew to bring the baby?"

"Why, you trying to take her?"

As if she were struck, realization took over her body and a sudden feeling of cool tingled down her spine and she remembered what she had meant to tell her Mum.

"Mum, I…" However, Susan was already back in the kitchen, the door separating them flapping.

"You forgot to ask about the baby, didn't you?"

Douggie settled onto the couch, watching her facial expression as she stared longingly at the closed door.

"Worse," tears brimmed in her eyes, looking away and sighing. "I didn't invite anyone."

"What are you talking about?"

Her eyes feel on the scarlet bracelet that wrapped around her wrist. The large red beads winked, catching the light. The infamous James Potter gave it to her for her sixteenth birthday.

"For the last month me and my friends have been at a disconnect. I haven't really spoken to them. And as a result, I never got to ask them about Christmas Eve dinner."

She never once removed her eyes from the speckled beads… afraid to meet his eyes. Afraid to see what she knew she deserved.

"What are you guys 'at a disconnect' about?"

"It doesn't matter, now. What matters is how I'm going to tell my Mum that six kids and their families will not be showing up for the dinner she's been preparing for a whole week now?"

A husky laugh escaped his throat.

"What?"

"I don't know how you girls do it. It's like you're genetically prone to fucking up."

"What the hell do you mean?" she crossed her arms and knit her brows.

"You and Tuny fuck up so much, and your parents have to deal with it every time. Remember last summer you made out with Daniel Chorizema and your parents had to see you being escorted back to your house by the wait staff?"

"I was drunk; hell, I didn't even know it was Danny 'til a week later."

"Yea, but your parents knew… they had to be woken up at two in the bloody morning!"

"I don't remember you being cold sober that night either mister Angel." She shot back.

"Last month Tuny hopped a train from Surrey to my house to cry to me about the breakup of a boyfriend and to tell me that she wasn't sure if they'd used protection the last time. You broke our window at the beginning of the summer because you were so mad at the Potter character that you decided to take your anger out on a lonely football aimed at the kitchen. There's so much more, too. Susan and Aaron have had to deal with a lot since you two hit puberty, and now, after all this sacrifice and preparation, you've got something to tell them."

"Gosh," she buried her face in her hands. "Thanks for making me feel better."

"No, don't you get it," he sighed. "You deserve to feel bad. This whole event… Christmas Eve with wizards wasn't about you; it isn't for you… not really. This is for your parents.

"Lils, Aaron and Susan have not properly been part of your life-"

"But-"

"…since you received that letter when you were eleven. Neither have Tuny nor I. Sure you're here for the holidays, but how often have you omitted to tell us everything? How many times do you leave information out because we're not magic? How many times have you gone to others because you feel we can't understand?

"Don't get me wrong, you're not doing anything wrong. But your parents miss you. They don't really know you anymore. They pay for your books and things, but they can't be a part of what you're learning and can't help you. The dinner was for them to experience for the first time what you do. They want an insight into your world. They want to have something significant with you… I think they feel as if they've lost all the special moments in your life. They feel as though they've lost you… why else would they let Tuny spend her first Christmas away from home with her friends?"

"And I fucked it up," tears tumbled down her cheeks. "God, I can't do anything about it… I wanted to… I really did," her voice cracked.

"Hey…"he pulled her into his stuffed arms, placing a kiss to her forehead. "Don't worry, they'll understand. They'll forgive and forget…"

"But that's what they always do," she pushed the tears from her face. "You're right, Mum's always there for me and Da never complains. I'm so stupid. I don't know how to fix it though."

"The damage is already done," he ran his fingers through her hair, "just tell them the truth, okay? Let them understand."

"Douggie, your meals are wrapped and ready to be delivered," Susan entered through the swinging door.

Lily looked up at her Mum from Douggie's arms,

"Mum, we've got to talk." She stood up. Her face was swollen and stained with still wet tears.

"I'll be back," Douggie tugged on his beard and hat. He placed a kiss on both women's cheeks and left.

"What's that?" Susan pried off the apron, something she'd been doing all day.

"I messed up," her eyes rolled up to the ceiling. The words were so hard to find… she could not look her mother in her face. How could she ruin her mother's night? Her mother looked so beautiful…

Her eyes traveled back to Susan… Gosh, she was gorgeous. Nana had named her after the little Black-eyed Susan's that grew in the family garden; her eyes had since lightened to dark brown. Her dark brown hair braided behind her with little wisps tickling her face. She wore gold earrings with little emerald stones that matched her beautiful cocktail dress. Aaron had given her the jewelry for their ten-year anniversary- emerald was her birthstone. Little freckles stippled her milky skin… the skin she'd given to both of her girls… the skin of cherubs, she'd told them when they were little.

"I didn't-"

The doorbell interjected them and Lily gave one woebegone look at her mother before placing her hand on the knob and swinging the door open.

"Merry Christmas!"

Faces… so many faces stood in the doorway, grinning at her and Susan. For a moment she didn't even recognize them until Fly gave her a shove and entered the sitting room without asking.

"Hey Lils," Sunny wrapped her arms around her neck. "We understand," she breathed before moving away to take a hold of Susan.

The all filed in… so many of them. They dusted themselves off from the snow and couldn't help smiling instantly at the cozy calm the Evan's home always seemed to exude.

Her hand still grasped the knob and the last person had already entered. A state of shock had overtaken her… she could feel it… it was-

"Lily, please take their coats upstairs?" Susan called to her, breaking of her trance, and causing her to look around.

She knew all the faces… many of the faces she didn't even expect to show up. Sunny had arrived with her whole family: her sisters Pinkie, Skye and Faye and their Mum, Marie. Potter had brought his mother who was supposed to be working at the Daily Prophet for the holidays. Peter and his Mum did in fact bring baby April. Remus's Mum and Dad, Julia and Reuben had also come. Fly and Sirius both came alone… but it didn't matter… they were practically related to the Potter's and the Benoire's… they were with family.

She wordlessly stuck out her arm, accepting the myriad of coats people handed her, and after three, the pile began getting heavy and soon she stopped accepting them.

"I'll return," she looked away from the sea of faces. She'd caught the look Potter had given her when he'd spot the bracelet on her wrist… and she couldn't face that… not right now…

Up the stairs, into her room the coats seemed to grow heavier with each step she took. She threw them on the bed and collapsed under the weight of the emotion that had been building since her conversation with Douggie and was ready to explode when Potter's eyes flashed with recognition.

Fear, anger, any emotion that had been stirred within her in the last twenty-four hours rolled over her back, pushing her body further and further into the carpeted floor. The emotions were attaching her whole being, holding her in the painful position- the weight of it all too much for her to bear. Too heavy for her to break from.

Her hand wrapped itself around her lips as she barely managed to restrain a strangled cry. The waves of emotion pounded against her head, beating her whole body 'til she felt battered and bruised.

The feelings were overpowering her.

She couldn't get away from them.

She couldn't help the tears that flooded from her eyes. Neither the gasps her body made for more air. Nor the fetal position she'd been thrust into, her face pushing into the carpet and the pain her muscles endured in the awkward contortion.

She didn't even hear them at first… the blood pounding through her body was all she could hear. Her own agony was all she was allowed to feel…

"Lily?" a small voice finally entered the pain and she felt her body being pulled up, the weight not being lifted, but being distributed to the two other set of arms that wrapped around her and placed kisses on her cheeks and forehead.

"You don't have to do this to yourself. What we said, we meant… I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell us yourself," Sunny's voice whispered. "We've forgiven you."

Sunny's words were all she needed because at that moment, the weight around them had dissipated.

"Gosh, I'm so sorry," she threw her arms around Fly. "I meant to invite you, I really did. But I got so afraid. And then you gave me the ring back… I just… I felt so horrible. How can you guys forgive me? I've been such a bitch lately."

"Easy," Fly said once released. "We've always known you're a bitch… you can't help it. Look who you have for a sister?"

Lily's tears subsided, and now it was laughter that consumed her.

The thickness they'd felt for weeks disappeared and they began talking as though they never existed.

"Girls," Lily's dad stuck his head through the door ten minutes later. "the party's downstairs."

"Oh, sorry," they'd all jumped from their seats and rushed into the sitting room where everyone else was congregated and laughing.

"Mum, lemme help," Lily moved towards her Mum who was leaning over offering finger foods to little Pinkie.

But the doorbell rang.

"Can you get that, Hun? It might be the pizza man."

She made her way through the sea of people, young and old radiating cheerfulness in her home.

"Ho, ho ho!" Santa roared, holding his massive belly as he entered the sitting room with her Aunt Jo and her Nana.

Closing the door she ran after him and jumped on his back catching him by surprise as she placed a kiss on his cheek.

"What was that for?" he whispered into her ear, noting the looks they were getting. Especially by a dishevel-haired boy.

"You really are Santa," she wrapped her arms around him again looking into his sparkling eyes. "Thanks so much, it's just what I wanted."

TBC…

P. A/N: Well I guess this is sorta me asking for forgiveness too, for taking so long. I can't say that things will come faster b/c my computer is taking forever to make and this computer is still getting over a virus, but I'm trying. Hoped u liked this chapter. I really did. Lily and James 4 ever!

-w/ luv, Yo-yo


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